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headlines found matching 'Cell'
Wed August 12, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
AARP leaps to protect Social Security. By blaming everyone except the single person who just cancelled its funding
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Recession's cancelled, bull out front should've told you
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 10, 2020
(CNN Philippines)
 
 
 
When talking about Covid19 WHO official says "we can outsmart the virus". Difficulty: Half of Americans can't outsmart themselves out of a wet paper bag let alone follow simple safety guidelines
source: cnnphilippines.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I'm overdue to have my first baby any minute now, and am having a hard time coping with all the requests to meet him. Everyone seems to think they are doing an excellent job quarantining, but they lie. Who should I invite to visit the baby?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 08, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Covid might cause the cancellation of college football... including the postseason glory of the wiener dog races at the Holiday Bowl, and whatever the fark the Duke's Mayonnaise Bowl is
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 07, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
While most movies are delaying their releases later and later, Bill & Ted time travel to a week earlier for their latest movie. Excellent
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 05, 2020
(Bakenstein)
 
 
 
Would you try bacon grown in a lab from real pork fat cells, produced without animal slaughter? Because now you can
source: zmescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Kansas Kobach Kancelled
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Subby is riding out the plague times learning how to make arancello. Any pointers?
source: cookingclassesintuscany.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 03, 2020
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
After opposing the Michigan lockdown and exposing COVID-5G as a hoax, patriot-hero Republican lawmaker discovers he has contracted the virus. Now furiously searching for a way to blame Democrats or his cell phone
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 02, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
1923 nails what cell phones will be like
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
If Subby is reading this right, evolution gave humans a cellular headfake that kept malaria from destroying us - for the low, low price of making us susceptible to asthma and Alzheimer's - when it COULD'VE just made us pee tonic water
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The Microsoft Office World Championships have been cancelled for this year. In a related story, there's a Microsoft Office World Championship
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Tainted alcohol is not the latest song from Soft Cell but it did kill at least 86 in India, police say
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 01, 2020
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Murder suspect escapes prison using the old 'bed sheets tied together' trick from 12th floor cell. Obviously with a lot of bed sheets
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 30, 2020
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Bacteria and younger siblings -tiny and in some cases deadly single-celled organisms-are turning out to be far more complex than commonly thought
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 29, 2020
(RealClearPolitics)
 
 
 
So let me get this straight, RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel, it's the Democrats fault that you cancelled the RNC?
source: realclearpolitics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Good news for all the rich turdblossoms paying to summit Mount Everest each year: Now you can enjoy full 5G cell service while riding comfortably on the back of your assigned Sherpa. Sure, the Chinese might be monitoring your call, but whatevs
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you pay the extra for the VIP package, you can also have a microwave, TV, refrigerator & potted plant.....in your cell
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 24, 2020
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
No-one told these guys The X-Files was cancelled
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
With Mike Tyson and Roy Jones stepping into the ring it is time to revisit the cinematic excellence of the movie that predicted this. No not Rocky Balboa the other movie about senior citizen boxers, Grudge Match
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 23, 2020
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
NCAA meeting to discuss cancellation of all fall sports
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 22, 2020
(Westword)
 
 
 
Marijuana could help treat sickle cell anemia, make you happy, feel good about yourself
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 21, 2020
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
How the 'rona infects its host cell by first binding one of its spike proteins and then fusing its helical core to the host cell has been modeled by a supercomputer. Sounds like the MCP is trying to come up with its own version of Skynet
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Trump: We're sending my secret police to Philadelphia as well. Philadelphia DA Larry Krasner: By all means, send them. We have more than enough prison cells to accommodate them if they try anything
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 20, 2020
(Nature)
 
 
 
People who were infected with the original SARS 17 years ago still have white blood cells that kick off antibody production when exposed to SARS-CoV-2. Tag is for the human immune system
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
British coronavirus vaccine produces strong antibody and T-cell responses. Previously implausible "good Covid news" trifecta in play
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocket Launch Live)
 
 
 
Watch SpaceX send a South Korean military satellite into orbit at 5:00 PM ET Monday. It is the sophomore launch for booster B1058 which previously sent Bob and Doug on an excellent adventure
source: rocketlaunch.live   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner burns table one where Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein used to sit to cleanse his restaurant. Wait until he finds out his staff moved it during the last deep cleaning and it's now quiet table four in the corner
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
With Comic Con cancelled this year due to an invading life force, here's a some pretty cool costumes from years past. Yes, it's a slide show - this is the timeline we are currently living in
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 18, 2020
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Ow my balls, Covid19 edition
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 17, 2020
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Cellphone Fox is watching you masturbate
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
China bars Claudia Christian after it loses its 3rd rocket of the year, SpaceX delays South Korean satellite rather than risk boom, Saturn V cancelled, no new big rockets this year though seven are coming soon, ICBM recycled, & Ariane 5 cancelled. 🚀
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"The cancellation of the airport-hangar event which the Trump team blamed on an incoming tropical storm that never materialized, but officials privately attribute to concerns about attendance, underscored the recurring challenge Trump aides face"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Meeting for idiots gets cancelled because idiots show up
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 16, 2020
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Coronaviruses trigger long-term T-cell immune responses that react to other coronaviruses
source: blogs.sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
The Hatch Chile Festival will be cancelled for the first time in it's history as the COVID-19 pandemic continues to heat up
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(BGR)
 
 
 
A pandemic killed the last of the neanderthals. Oops sorry, that should say the pandemic is killing the last of the neanderthals
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
3pm Eastern - it's the Fark News Summary Livestream. Somehow we hit One Million views since March, no idea how that happened. This one's gonna be shorter because apocalypse Tuesday was cancelled. However we will have some Kanye West updates
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Oontz-Oontz-Oontz-Crickets. Detroit's techno festival cancelled due to Covid-19
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Chicago Marathon cancelled by Covid-19. For the record, this isn't the event where fat guys power through breaded steak sandwiches, Polish sausages, and deep-dish pizzas; that's, like, the Chicago Triathlon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Is it time to start thinking about cancelling Halloween?
source: wpst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 10, 2020
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Coronavirus porn is about to become very big in Japan
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
They live in bread dough. They die in your oven. No, not the roaches in your pantry. Tag is for that breathy single-celled fungus
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 09, 2020
(Network World)
 
 
 
Silly contact tracers, everyone knows that 5G *causes* Covid-19
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 08, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Chancellor gives diners 50% off on eating out. Your survival percentages may vary
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitchy)
 
 
 
Several signatories of the Cancel Culture letter ... have been cancelled
source: twitchy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
MLS Wednesday night season opening is cancelled due COVID positive players
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(National Review)
 
 
 
They're trying to cancel LINCOLN, says NRO article with no examples of cancelling Lincoln
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 05, 2020
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Stop the screaming for a second and thank your friendly little spiders. Using their silk as a frame for lenses made of resin that are the size of a blood cell. Useful for looking at a virus or other tiny objects
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
GA Governor Brian Kemp (R-Epressive) hopes threat of college football season cancellation will encourage mask usage, instead of Kemp showing courage by ordering mandatory mask wearing throughout state
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ghislaine Maxwell will cooperate with the FBI, name names, and hopefully have no sheets in her cell
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Good Idea: Cancelling a high school baseball season due to Covid. Fark Idea: Waiting until three innings into a game to do so
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Danny Clark, AKA Jake from Evil Dead 2, is gunna find out just what in the hell is going on down in that fruit cellar for the last time at age 68
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Is it more impressive that the monkey survived or that someone taught a pig how to do transplants? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 27, 2020
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Four new giant single-celled organisms discovered on the Pacific sea floor; yea, and thou shalt kneel before them
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"The so-called cyanide bomb was not the work of some rogue actor or terrorist cell. It had been installed by a federal employee on official business." "The US government put (it) 350ft from my house, and killed my dog and poisoned my child"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Tracing the evolution of the synapse is interesting, has some creationists feeling nervous
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(Nature)
 
 
 
Solar cell achieves record efficiencies by gobbling up all the colors. Eat the rainbow?
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(Interesting Engineering)
 
 
 
Having no other things to work on, scientists create bigger, better, stronger...monkey brains
source: interestingengineering.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Brilliant satirist Roy Zimmerman releases song "DWB (Driving While Black)" with legendary Clovice Lewis on cello, broadsides us right in the feels
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"I just spoke with the president," Kayleigh McEnany said, "and he said we are not looking at lifting the national emergency declarations." Which means, of course, that Trump is absolutely cancelling the national emergency declarations
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
PotatoFest has been cancelled. No, this isn't subby's family reunion
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Studio Ghibli has made many excellent films over the years, make sure you don't lose "Porco Rosso" in the shuffle
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 20, 2020
(Patch)
 
 
 
Man dies of acute intoxication while in police custody, but not in the same way most Farkers would die of acute intoxication while in police custody
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
My brain cells were commiting suicide when i read this transcript
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 18, 2020
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
New fuel cells have been created with twice the juice of hydrogen, practically none of the pulp
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 17, 2020
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"Sorry, Captain Picard, Your Taste in Tea Sucks" says writer with questionable taste in tea. Earl Grey is an excellent tea and Subby stands with the captain. Shine on, Jean-Luc, you beautiful, bald diamond
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Area cat undergoes cellular mitosis and splits into two adorable kittens
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 16, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ Cellino and Barnes... consulted their attorneys... wonder who gets the phone number ♪ ♫ ♬
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 14, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Things you're liable to leave behind on the train: cell phone, wallet, purse, bag of gold
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 13, 2020
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Police refuse to learn, shoot & kill a man who was passed out in a Wendy's drive thru. They say it was during a struggle but cell phone video seems to show he was running away. This will end well
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In the ultimate judo move, new Anti-fat pill works by making cells lazy. Take that, exercise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Lack of mitochondria causes severe disease in children. Midichlorian therapies being forced onto the fast-track
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
"Don't tase me 'bro." Bronx edition
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 10, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
German Bundesliga club Mainz 05 responds to "I'm not racist, but..." membership cancellation letter
source: mainz05.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 09, 2020
(Metro)
 
 
 
Black man dies in police custody on May 20 and an investigation into it just began because the UK is just starting to admit systemic racism in policing is a thing there too
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
A new study finds there's different strains of bacteria on your cell phones and shoes, and they're mostly harmless. Mostly
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
It's 6/9, dudes, be excellent to each other
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 07, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meal Team 6 celebrates epic victory over AntiFa terrorist cell, which apparently were too scared by REAL MURCANS to even try to come and burn down their Applebee's
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 06, 2020
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Scientists create synthetic red blood cells that can be packed like heart-healthy piñatas
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Who throws a soap dish, honestly? Marcell Ozuna's wife
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Good News: San Franciscans are doing an excellent job of following shelter in place orders. Bad News: Coyotes are taking over the city
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
More and more Americans are skipping things like mortgage and car payments in order to afford necessities, like Disney+ subscriptions, cell phone plans, and that new gaming monitor
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 02, 2020
(Consequence of Sound)
 
 
 
Nirvana bassist and Neville Longbottom lookalike Krist Novoselic praises Dear Leader for his excellent speech
source: consequenceofsound.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 01, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bob and Doug's Excellent Adventure continues on the ISS
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 31, 2020
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Scientists find Skinny Gene. Fat Tony and Johnny Roastbeef would like to have a word
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 30, 2020
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Seven-year-old throws a prom for his babysitter after hers was cancelled. It suddenly got dusty in here
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
At 9:30 AM ET, Wolfsburg host Eintracht Frankfurt, Hertha Berlin play Augsburg, Mainz have Hoffenheim, and a struggling Schalke take on cellar dwellers Werder Bremen. At 12:30 PM, Bayern host Dusseldorf. It's your Saturday Bundesliga Discussion Thread
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 29, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
COUNTERPOINT: Respond to Coronavirus with more Globalism, an argument by the Orb guiding Marianne Williamson
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Pregnancy reprograms breast cells, reducing cancer risk
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(Thurrott)
 
 
 
Microsoft Solitaire turns 30 this week, retains status as highly popular casual game with over 100 million hands played daily. FreeCell can't relate
source: thurrott.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Andrea Bocelli never saw Covid-19 coming for him, but he kicked its ass anyway
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(Stat News)
 
 
 
SARS-CoV-2 is compromising cellular mechanics in ways heretofore never observed by virologists
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK scientists discover most seriously ill Covid-19 patients have extremely low T-cell count, raising hopes for possible treatment
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
Her cellphone number used to be Elon Musk's. I hope she answers with "Hello, and welcome to Moviefone Press one if you'd like to hear"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
A Japanese infant gets the first-ever liver stem cell transplant as the Fark clone army grows ever closer to reality
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Hard core. What could possibly go wrong? Pinky and the Brain look on enviously
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
The pandemic isn't all bad: Nickleback just cancelled their entire 2020 tour
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
GenCon cancelled for the first time in 50 years
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Man cannot find anywhere on in-law's 17,000-acre farm that has cellular service from where he can work out of his wife's minivan. Hill area ensues
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The cellphone data following the anti-lockdown protests is in and you already know the rest of this headline
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
James Dyson couldn't get enough outside interest, ended up blowing £500 million of his own money on a cancelled electric SUV. It had a 600 mile range thanks to new solid state battery technology. That sucks
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
GOP poll tests 20 different attacks on Biden, none of them work. Don't worry, we can make up 20 more pieces of nonsense. Eventually our morons will buy it. We don't have 20 brain cells to rub together
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(Polygon)
 
 
 
O.J. Simpson inadvertently led to the cancellation of Disney's Gargoyles
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
"Come on man, what are you thinking?" Sheriff Judd said. "Were your three brain cells in overload? Why don't you just let it go? Get you a bottle of liquor, go back to the house, have you a drink. But no, they had to have a kerfuffle right there"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
If the titles Fawlty Towers, Porridge, Only Fools and Horses, Blackadder, Dad's Army, Eastenders and 'Allo 'Allo mean anything to you, take a trip down nostalgia lane to look at the BBC's museum of classic stage sets
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This is an excellent article. Let's have one more round of applause for The King and "Queen" of Rock and Roll, Mr. Richard Penniman
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 10, 2020
(News-Gazette)
 
 
 
Duke's Arkansas sucks
source: news-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Google's master plan to remake Toronto's waterfront cancelled because there are just too many people in that drawing who should be home
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(NHL)
 
 
 
NHL cancels beginning of 2020-21 season before cancelling end of 2019-20 season
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The International Canoe Federation is making plans to ensure it's not stranded up Cancelled Olympic Creek. In other news, there's an International Canoe Federation
source: accesswdun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
"Be a most excellent part of our movie" *air guitar lick*
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Hoping it will go viral across the industry, Royal Caribbean extends its relaxed cruise cancellation policy to April 2022
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Stained Mouse Brains is the name of my Jonas Brothers /Red Hot Chili Peppers mashup band
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(The Register)
 
 
 
If you share your spotify password with someone don't be surprised when they hijack your smart speakers from anywhere on the interwebs. Also, *taps fingertips* exxxxcellent
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Did you need an eight-cello rendition of the Inspector Gadget theme today? Yes, yes you did
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Wait. Someone wanted to built an amusement park here? Really? Also, this island would be an excellent theme for a sitcom and/or horror TV series about the adventures of the lonely caretaker who has to deal with... every thing. Discuss
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(Variety)
 
 
 
The secret history of Wu-Tang Clan's bizarre hip-hop fighting game and its cancelled predecessor, or how the ESRB ain't nothin' to fark with
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sci Tech Daily)
 
 
 
Microbes have memories, possibly leading to biological computing
source: scitechdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Not news: family vacation to Disney cancelled because of COVID-19. News: trip is for mom who has an inoperable brain tumor. Fark: family brings Disney to mom
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Call in bomb threat on personal cellphone to get out of work because you're "having a bad day?" Your day's going to get a lot worse
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Arson attacks on UK cell towers alarm US officials concerned over conspiracy theories. Deep State unavailable for comment
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Key nose cells identified as likely virus, swab entry points
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Kansan)
 
 
 
Kansas politician claims state has fewer COVID-19 cases because "people have a better immunity out here". Also, fewer brain cells, more foots in mouths
source: themercury.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Bad: Your wedding venue says your reservation is cancelled. Worse: It's charging you 80% of the cancellation fee
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
TRNSMT festival cancelled so fans don't trnsmt the virus
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Obviously a delicate political question: Should the 2020 Boston Marathon be cancelled? Conservatives: Yes. Liberals: Yes. Hmm
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man jailed for yelling racist abuse at nursery children, attacking school crossing guard with his own stick. Police quote: he "finished off a busy day by smearing his own faeces across the entire cell", which had to be "professionally cleaned"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Pancreatic cancer cells might be ninjas. Subby may be signing his own death warrant, but fark ninjas
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(Variety)
 
 
 
'Life is Beautiful'. And by 'beautiful', I mean 'cancelled'
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Listverse)
 
 
 
Here's 10 TV shows that were cancelled way too soon .... Yes Mr. Show is on the list, as well as Sleeper Cell
source: listverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scheisse. Oktoberfest is cancelled
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
A Michigan company says it can predict spikes and determine coronavirus hotspots using cellphone data. "We're trying a different way to utilize data for good and make it so we're not always chasing the curve, but that we're ahead of the curve"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Jeff Bezos: "Excellent. These color monitors have already paid for themselves"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
One type of exercise reverses the effect of aging on stems cells. Please be "lifting pint glasses", please be "lifting pint glasses"
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cancelled wedding plans? Here's a year's worth of Busch Beer to console yourself. So, win?
source: marketingdive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Yo, dawg, I hear you like wine cellars
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's with a heavy heart that, due to the coronavirus, we have to announce this year's worm charming festival is cancelled
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Police thy neighbor: Virus fears fuel quarantine shaming." Reasonable article, with a good idea: take cell phone pics of the plague rats who refuse to obey the rules and are endangering others. Fail tag is for the Yahoo comments section
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
And now...the dulcet tones of...coronavirus
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My boyfriend found my lost cellphone and has begun using it to spy on me. How am I able to legally stop this from happening? I'm really starting to worry"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Farkette)
 
 
 
What did they know and when did they know it? FARK: Quilt show insurer. Cancellation policy exemption added January 1st regarding corona virus in the U.S
source: craftindustryalliance.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(HiConsumption)
 
 
 
The perfect running shoe if you're being chased through the darkened corridors of your commercial towing vessel by a xenomorph with acid for blood, and the ship's auto-destruct sequence cancellation has already expired
source: hiconsumption.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
We are all going through a tough time right now being socially isolated during this uncertain time, but honking your horn like a jackass and ending up in your underwear on someone else's roof isn't going to make those zoom hangouts any more bearable
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Remember that Big East basketball tournament last month that was cancelled at halftime of a game when someone released it could pose a public health problem? This reporter remembers, and is only now recovered from COVID-19
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Sick of the confines of your 24/7 prison cell? Fantasize about the celebrity home you would choose to self-isolate in. Fark: sans celebrity
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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