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headlines found matching 'Bar'
Mon May 25, 2020
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Man taken to hospital after chase treated for injuries suffered: a) During crash where he flipped a minivan; b) During his interaction with police as they caught up to him or c) While fleeing the crash as he ran right into a barbed wire fence
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
President Trump barely able to stand up straight at Memorial Day service
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
"I'm not trying to be some type of outlaw," says outlaw biker bar owner who's literally dying for a party
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
You may want to pick a new hobby when even Charles Barkley is making fun of your golf game
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
New York launches "Closing The Barn Door After The Horses Got Out" loan program aimed at small businesses that had enough cash on hand to get through the past ten weeks
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 24, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I'm the latest chapter of the Reminiscences of Charles Barkley: day drinking and going to work hammered. Fark breathlessly awaits a 10 part documentary
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
While Americans argue about masks and whether their "rights" are being infringed from not being able to go to a bar, Hong Kong residents are fighting for real freedom ... and losing
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 23, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Delivery of draft beer growlers keeps pizza chain in business. New rule: Any law that is waived during an "emergency" is a law that needs to be repealed in all situations
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
Top 7 sites that will deliver alcohol to your doorstep or server room
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
Top 7 sites that will deliver alcohol to your doorstep or server room
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A sobering look at what the future holds for bars and restaurants that are already struggling during the shutdown when things begin reopening
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
J.K. Rowling casts Stupify Dumbarasses on Harry Potter tourists who visit all the places she never wrote the books
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
Boobies
 
Alabama single moms rejoice as strip clubs reopen at 1700 hours today. Baby needs a new pair of shoes
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The Governor of Washington State should be arrested for acting "in treason and sedition against me" says barber shop owner, in today's entry in "Man who has no idea what words mean speaks out"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
San Francisco's oldest gay bar 'The Stud' to permanently close due to pandemic
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Last year the Chiefs finally claimed the Lamar Hunt trophy, and of course the Lombardi trophy. This year they will try to reclaim the Preston Road trophy
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Missouri grocery reopens salad bar and shoppers are head over heels
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Federal judge taps Barr on the wrist for withholding evidence
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Kamala Harris: "Talk to your lawyer, Bill Barr." Unclear why he would seek advice from a hobbit
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Legacy.com)
 
 
 
"In lieu of flowers, please pay someone's open bar tab"
source: legacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Answer: "Gov. DeSantis. Open our bars. We need our life back." Question: When do protest signs send wrong messages about protesters?
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uncut)
 
 
 
Neil Young plays a concert in front of an audience of barnyard animals. Crazy Horse unimpressed
source: uncut.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Despite several US Attorneys craving to take down a senator for insider trading, Barr has moved all insider cases to the purview of the DC USAO, who Barr just had replaced with a lackey
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sen. Ron Johnson and Martha MacCallum want to know why Barack Obama didn't warn Donald Trump about Gen. Mike Flynn, a thing that Barack Obama absolutely did
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Bill Barr's head officially lodged up his anus with no hope of extraction
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ringer)
 
 
 
"I can't play three days in a row. I can't have sex three days in a row," the Rockets' Charles Barkley memorably quipped
source: theringer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Wisconsin nurse who left her toddler and her mask at home to drink in a bar is now "Oh, my bad, was I not supposed to do that?" because she got called out on the internets
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Even though IG Linick still has another 26 days on the job, Pompeo has barred him from State Department grounds. That Jared/Saudi/Pompeo investigation must be really something
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
How have we gotten this far into his presidency before finding this perfect nickname for Trump?: "DT Barnum"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
IG Barr: since I've made it the official position of the DOJ that "When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal", it's going to be SUPER HARD for me to find a way to bring criminal charges against Obama or Biden, not that I won't try
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pastor who exposed 180 congregants to coronavirus speaks out: "the brainwashing won't stick if we can't get you into a room"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
32 year old woman trying to kiss strangers calls 911 to complain the bar she was at wasn't properly social distancing
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Lovely 1951 river barge liveaboard conversion for sale. Interior features include a good sized saloon with a lovely skylight over a large comfy leather settee and electric chair, TV and solid fuel stove. Wait, back up a couple there
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Barry Bennell busted for buggery, bending-over, banging boy's bums
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Strip club that straddles the Colorado-Wyoming border reopens. "We're on eight-inch heels and obviously a mask sometimes messes with your vision like I need to be able to see where my feet are going. In eight-inch heels it could be deadly"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not content with letting Misha Flynn go for some light treason, Barr decides "f*ck it" and lets Putin's chef get off too
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOL 11)
 
 
 
Friday: Ohio opens up barbershops and hair salons. Sunday: Toledo barbershop becomes COVID-19 hotspot
source: wtol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Maryland bar unveils social distancing intertube contraptions for drinkers. Bonus: you won't get hurt when falling over after getting blotto
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
In Florida, 83% of those who died from COVID-19 virus were 65, older. In other news, estate sale bargains are through the roof
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 17, 2020
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
Area man passionate defender of what he imagines constitution to be
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
Area man passionate defender of what he imagines constitution to be
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Dan Rather gets so giddy by Barack Obama's 'virtual graduation' speech that he finally understands what #ObamaGate is all about
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 16, 2020
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Barack Obama will be delivering a commencement for the Class of 2020. Which class of 2020? All of them. (8 PM ET on all major networks, LGT streaming)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Could the Mountain come to the NFL?
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat This Not That)
 
 
 
As health officials try desperately to keep people from dying in a pandemic, a near forgotten relic from a century ago works in the shadows to undo all their noble efforts
source: eatthis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
You'll never believe just how stocked Judge Jeanine keeps her bar
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Exposing the bigotry of blaming a Chinese bar for the coronavirus outbreak
source: ogn.theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
That time Freddie Mercury smuggled Princess Diana into a gay bar to have some fun
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Fired BARDA director Rick Bright's 4-hour testimony before Congress yesterday can be summarized by a 4-word email he got from a Texas N-95 mask manufacturer in January: "we're in deep shiat"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Wisconsin nurse goes full Wisconsin with news crew at bar after virus restrictions tossed out
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Trump's interview with Maria Bartiromo was a giant smokebomb of stupidity
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The NFL has been a little slow on felony arrests lately, but DeAndre Baker of the Giants and Quinton Dunbar of the Seahawks just made up a lot of ground
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 14, 2020
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Hey, man, you do you -- but can we have your stuff after you expire on one of those floating plague barges?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
House judiciary committee prepared to grumble impotently as Barr ignores their subpoenas
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mmmm, Barber queues
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Freeman)
 
 
 
Barber defies "New York on Pause" order, keeps cutting hair. If you're reading this on Fark, you know what's already happened
source: dailyfreeman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FactCheck)
 
 
 
You'll be no doubt shocked to learn that in a factual dispute between Sen. "I have a plan for that" Warren and Press Secretary Barbie, the numbers are 100% on Warren's side
source: factcheck.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
London's "pub-on-wheels" pulls pints on people's doorsteps, sets the bar for every good soul in the world
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
The ESA's laser-powered rover built to explore moon's dark shadows will not be named Barnabas McCollins or even Barney
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Bill Barr can't investigate Obama due to arguments made by...Bill Barr. So will you reject your reality to substitute your own?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
A 22-year-old was arrested after a high-speed police chase from Mississippi to Memphis involving a stolen barbecue food truck. Mmmm, this Smokey and the Bandit remake sounds tasty
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Idiots who can barely count to ten weigh in on science
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Nice try, Bill Barr. I'm behind 7 VPNs (wipes hands on pants and throws computer out the window)
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bob Barker's reminder to have your pets spayed or neutered was only the beginning
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"I don't think we'll ever see the world of January 2020 again, where everyone goes to the office five days a week and oil demand is 100 million barrels per day"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump campaign advisor: "This is coronavirus press conference number, what, probably somewhere in the 50s? POC liberal women have been present at every one of them and asked stupid questions. Sometimes for HOURS." Dogs barked
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
It may be last call for a NJ tavern open since 1762 because they stayed open
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Pickup truck fleeing cops careens across several lanes of highway, does barrel roll along divider, lands on wheels and keeps fleeing. With crazy video
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Idaho Bar: Screw you governor, we're re-opening despite your order because we do what we wants. Idaho Gov: That would violate your liquor license and we'll yank it. Laura Ingraham: how DARE he threaten them like this? I thought he was a Republican
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
"Barack Obama is sending coded messages to deep state operatives to go out and do more dirty work," claims a clearly unhinged Sean Hannity, hearing another dog whistle
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Indiana's Attorney General not actually an attorney for the next 30 days which seems be the very definition of a "slap on the wrist" given that the Bar found "clear and convincing evidence that he committed the criminal act of battery" on four women
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
In the name of safety, India plans to restart rail operations with restrictions, allowing only people wearing masks to climb on the outside of the train as it barrels through the countryside at high speed
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Your Shirley Temples, Tequila Sunrises, and Singapore Slings are built on a house of lies. Sweet, sweet lies
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WITN North Carolina)
 
 
 
If you do go to the beach, beware of bare bears
source: witn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stamford Advocate)
 
 
 
Barter is back, baby. What am I bid for a bar of Yardley's Ginger & Sassafras soap, or a 2oz bottle of hand sanitizer, or a batch of homemade edibles? Got books? I'll trade premium for those. Watch out for land mines and stay on the marked path
source: stamfordadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Turns out Bill Barr may have misrepresented somebody else's statements when deciding to not pursue criminal charges. Shocking, I know
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 10, 2020
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Sheriff believes deputies who took pictures of dead bodies at Kobe Bryant crash site deleted the pics, because they said they did. Also it appears that sharing pics of dead bodies at bars isn't as good at getting you laid as cops thought it would be
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Dallas' iconic Lizard Lounge closes forever due to COVID-19. Leisure Suit Larry inconsolable
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Department of (In)Justice is even more inept that you had previously thought. And considering the regard the DOJ is held in around these parts, that bar was set pretty low to begin with
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
News: One of the two Starbucks across the street from each other that inspired a Lewis Black rant has closed. Not News: The other Starbucks is still open. Fark: As is the Starbucks inside the Barnes & Noble next door
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 09, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
American company wanted to fill the bare cupboards with millions of N95 masks in January. Trump Admin: HARD PASS
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
On the one hand, credit to the ad agency's creative types for this. On the other hand, WTAF. Bara is right - you will never guess the product
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you thought dropping the charges against Michael Flynn was an outrage, you might want to start taking blood pressure medication to prepare for the indictment of Barack Obama
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Now we know why Barr moved to drop charges against Flynn yesterday: So Trump would have an excuse to rage against the Deep State and the impeachment "hoax" today, rather than explaining why the worst jobs report in US history "isn't his fault"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VinePair)
 
 
 
Temperance pastor inadvertently creates coupons for discount beer
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Bill Barr jokes about his decision to circumvent the law
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Probably unwise to mock your opponent's heralded fighter pilot career in a district where Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier #KarenForCongress
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Rep. Nadler is pretty sure that a guy who pled guilty actually is guilty, no matter what AG Barr has decided after the fact
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alternative Press)
 
 
 
It's blink-one hundred and eighty-two and there's nothing that Travis Barker can do to change our minds
source: altpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Barr intervenes to protect Flynn from prosecution
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Mermaids are back at this tiki bar in Montana. Thank God the tiki bar is open
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby got this really cool towel in the mail, so he's safe in case the Vogons decide to build a hyperspace bypass. LGT original thread, pic of the package in this thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
American Bar Association in 2019 'this guy isn't qualified to be dog catcher' ABA in 2020 'Appeals court judge requires a different skill set than dog catcher so he'll probably be alright'
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
"Dear health care worker: Thanks for coming to New York to help us with the pandemic. In your welcome pack please find a respirator, gloves, an IT-201-V form, and a granola bar"
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Seoul reports panic buying in North Korea as shoppers rush to stockpile emergency supplies of dirt and tree bark
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mr. Trump, don't argue with a man who buys copies of The Thorn Birds by the barrel
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Starbucks will reopen 85 percent of its stores by the weekend, but with significant operational changes. Don't worry, burned coffee and your name misspelled by a barista with three advanced liberal arts degrees will still be part of the experience
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
This guy built a miniature restaurant for squirrels in his yard. Note the lack of slatted chairs
source: stories.wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Good news, Illinois: You may be able to get mixed drinks to go from your favorite bars soon
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas will have none of your Branch Dildonian behavior
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"You're three years into your term. What did you do when you became president to restock those cupboards that you say are bare?" "Well, I'll be honest, uh, I have a lot of things going on". No way he's going to get the job after that answer
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"Early government intervention is key to reducing the spread of COVID-19," says the horse long after the barn has gone up in flames and is nothing but a smoldering pile
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Back off? In his moment of triumph? I think you overestimate your chances, Mr. Barr
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Mississippi to hold Darwin Day on Thursday
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Doggos Barley and Buddy making the beer delivery rounds to local brew customers on Long Island is all you need to know in these coronavirus times that beer drinkers are loved
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"Every midterm. Every time Barack didn't get the Congress he needed, that was because our folks didn't show up. After all that work, they just couldn't be bothered to vote at all. That's my trauma"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West weighs whether to have and have not annual Hemingway lookalike contest, decides to have not
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Editor of Santa Barbara News-Press decides he can no longer parrot the views of an owner who compares covid restrictions to the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
For the first time in decades the US Navy sends a fleet into the Barents Sea. Unclear if they are counting on Sup-Ger-A St. Petersburg to complete the maneuver
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
In today's Fark News that Matters™, that Donkey Kong high score defamation suit continues to barrel onward
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Barbershop reopens in spite of stay-at-home order, as "Shave and a ventilator, six bits" becomes the song of the day
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Pole vaulting....in their backyards
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
This is what drones were invented for
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
This is what drones were invented for
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cruise Law News)
 
 
 
Anonymous crew member leaks photo of illegal cruise ship crowding to the press. Furious captain issues angry memo about leak. So anonymous crew member leaks angry memo to the press
source: cruiselawnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
There you have it naysayers, former senior adviser to President Barack Obama David Axelrod has stated that the Obama team vetted Biden in 2008 and found no hint of the Tara Reade allegation. Complete proof
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
4,200 rolls of toilet paper? Check. Barrels of dry food? Check. Underground gas tanks? Check. Electrified fence? Check. Money to pay the mortgage so you don't lose your doomsday compound to foreclosure? Whoops
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NK News)
 
 
 
Kimmy the Hutt has a pleasure barge with an Olympic-size pool and twin waterslides on it, because of course he does
source: nknews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
25 years ago someone filled a barrel with pot and it just washed ashore in the keys. Boaters scramble to figure out the barrels secret anti fouling properties
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 01, 2020
(Wired)
 
 
 
Baseball's robo-strike zone is coming. It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with...it doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear...and it absolutely will not stop.Ever. Until you are out or on base
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Appeals court to Barr and DOJ: turn them over. Rage tweets in 3,2,1
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
How strange. All the prisoners at the federal prison Michael Cohen is at who were were granted home confinement due to coronavirus have lost those privileges and will remain behind bars. I wonder whatever could have happened?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Brenda's Beaver Need a Barber, a children's classic
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Remember going out to eat? Remember going out to the movies? Remember going to the bar? Remember going to work? Remember taking kids to school? Remember The White House Press Secretary holding a press conference? One of these begins again at 2 pm ET
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A Swiss biotech company is just about ready to release Bartertown 1.0. You'll know when it hits
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
I'd ask you to come work in the fields where I grow my farks, but alas, my field is barren
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 
 
San Francisco is starting to think that taxing landlords for vacant buildings might not be such a hot idea right now. Subby thinks they'll never find better fish to shoot in a barrel
source: sfchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
IHOP parent shares jump
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Meet Sara Gilbert, the scientist who leads the Oxford COVID-19 vaccine research team, hates being asked about Roseanne Barr
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TVLine)
 
 
 
Barry reflects on his relationship with Iris, then a 1910 boarding house accommodates a couple of Legends on new episodes of The CW's The Flash at 8PM EDT and Legends of the DC Universe at 9
source: tvline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Their goal was savoring the flavor of gaslighting someone into thinking their goals were high-minded and pure rather than what they were: low and barbarous"
source: stoehr.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
China accuses U.S. of 'telling barefaced lies' over Coronavirus, possibly after hurriedly putting on a fake mustache
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Walmart Barbie is at it again, comparing quarantine to slavery
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
122-year-old bar didn't close during the 1918 pandemic, and isn't closing now, but you do have to wear a mask
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Lithuanian capital of Vilnius turns entire city into one vast "open-air cafe" so bar and restaurant owners can put their tables outdoors and still observe social distancing rules
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Lando came. Lando embarrass IndyCar. Lando SMASH
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Barr thinks States Rights is a joke, tells prosecutors to go after states because of the Stay-at-home orders
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for murder after police find body in suitcase, proving once again that if you want to embark on a life of crime, you should get rid of your baggage first
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
BART may give out free face masks to riders, in what sounds like a good deal until you realize they all say "Don't have a cow, man" on the front
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Bill Barr demands the collusion remain secret
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Get your long-lost Guinness bar towel so Subby can buy a TotalFark subscription
source: ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Party's over. There's a turd in the Punchbowl
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Listen and understand. That Sinister Minister is out there. He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, EVER, until you are dead
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
Witnesses say Aviation Museum's pilot heroically tried to save historic last surviving original Flying Wing by doing barrel-roll over California freeway. Authorities infer plane crashed because pilot did barrel roll. Either way, no more Flying Wings
source: pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Honey get the door, Buddy & Barley are here. Yes they do have beer, don't forget the treats honey
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Salted maple pie? Sort of want
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Black leaders say reopening Georgia is an attack on people of color...it's no coincidence that the businesses being reopened -- including barbershops, nail salons and churches -- are communal gathering places for black residents"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
The Justice Department is looking to crack down on COVID-19 fraudsters. Hey, Barr, I've got a tip about where you can find one of the biggest ringleaders at around 5:00 this afternoon
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I was interested in the Sober-Curious Movement and practiced intentional drinking, but a global pandemic increased my accidental drinking and I'm drunk again
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Lamar Jackson labels Baltimore's first-round pick a double-murderer
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Today's mad libs headline: UK submarine commander probed over 'rave barbecue' amid coronavirus lockdown
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scottish lockdown to be lifted in phases, no doubt starting with Loch Ness, moving to Loch Lomand, and ending with drunkenly stabbing someone in the neck with a broken beer bottle outside a bar at 2 AM
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Giant 'teenager' shark from the days of the dinosaurs identified from vertebrae remains, embarrassment of parents
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hollywood Life)
 
 
 
A lady and her dog? Sure, I'll take a look ... bark, bark, bark
source: hollywoodlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Apparently Rosie's is off limits. It's a MASH joke. MASH was a TV show. It had the most watched finale in history. Get off subby's lawn
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Idaho News)
 
 
 
Restaurant businesses closed due to COVID-19 pandemic? Sounds like golden opportunity to remodel. "[Y]ou don't ever get time to do stuff because you've got to stay open"
source: eastidahonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
It's a use for all those cheap oil barrels. Not the best by any means, but an attempt was made
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
What do you do if you think the bar surveillance video shows you assaulting your girlfriend? Why burn down the bar, of course
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Why is this Wisconsin bar owner defiantly planning to open amid the coronavirus stay-at-home order? Because this is America
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Oil could hit -$100 per barrel next month, according to analyst. Just wait until oil hits imaginary numbers. Then we will be truly farked
source: markets.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Worker embarrassed after being caught by colleague watching porn during work. Story posted by Cheesywheelchair on Reddit, because if you can't trust Cheesywheelchair, then who can you trust?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
States: We'll shut down as we see fit. AG Barr: Yeah, about that
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
State of Michigan buys $836k in liquor to keep bars and restaurants afloat, immediately changes name to Drew
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Would you like to escape to a fantasy realm where COVID-19 barely rates a mention? Just read President Trump's Twitter feed
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You might actually sit down for this one. Billy Barr and his Justice Dept. posse may join lawsuits against the Stay at Home orders that were reluctantly implemented by Boss Trump just two or three weeks ago to stem the tide of GinaVirus
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VegNews)
 
 
 
Non-Dairy ice cream bars are coming to select Dairy Queen locations
source: vegnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Trump thought it'd be a good idea to publish a weird tweet featuring a video in which Barack Obama's face was superimposed onto an actor's body. It was a timely reminder: Trump can't shake his preoccupation with his immediate predecessor
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Daytime TV to shift to classic reruns as they run out of new episodes to air according to Price is Right host Bob Barker (don't forget to spay or neuter your pets)
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is like a World War II leader: specifically the French general who surrendered to the invading forces and then collaborated with them, founding the pro-Nazi Vichy regime. Oh, and the rest of 'Murica is looking FUBAR
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
BART asks passengers 'please don't hotbox the trains today'. Otto, Jimbo, unavailable for comment
source: alt1053.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bakery chain Le Pain Quotidien is feeling le pain
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Below $15/barrel, below $12, below $10, below $8, below $5. If you have any spare containers you might want to buy some oil. Or just wait, because maybe they'll pay you to take it
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Featuring Michael Jordan, Hall of Famer, and Barack Obama, former Chicago resident
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British bars will remain closed until Christmas, meaning you'll have to drink at home with your family
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Oil traders using giant supertankers to store millions of barrels of oil as demand rises
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
Think the commissioner of your favorite sport is terrible? Meet the new leader of Fiji rugby, who was once convicted of beating a man to death with his bare hands...and later was named minister of prisons
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
On March 1, 2020, a Brooklyn bar owner decided to proceed on a cruise, because "He watched Fox [News], and [he] believed it [coronavirus] was under control." You can see where this is going
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
At least Jack Torrence had bar service at the Overlook Hotel
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this barley root
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Barkley leans in favor of canceling 2020 NBA season, ridicules knuckleheads, fools, and idiots who.send out turrible ideas for resuming play in months-long Florida or Vegas bubble
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Genetic tracing 'barcode' is rapidly revealing COVID-19's journey and evolution, na-na, na-na-nanna, na-na, na-na-na
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
"Dry, wet, barking, hacking." Wine, dog, or cough descriptors?
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
It's embarrassing when you're at the airport and EVERYONE knows you have a case of the crabs
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Journal)
 
 
 
Why Trump's slump in the polls is likely to last all year. Difficulty: It's NOT just his major fubar concerning the coronavirus
source: nationaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
🎵 Barr goes to a land down under, where the Aussies need help asunder, can't you see, the blackmail Barr is his blunder, they've been watching Trump since the Taj went under, still he flew to a land down under 🎵
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
After video of unmasked jarheads ignoring social distancing while standing in line at Camp Pendleton barber for high-and-tight goes viral, DOD considers allowing all commanding officers to let their men skip haircuts for the time being
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Barack Obama: Only Joe Biden can save America from the policies implemented by Barack Obama
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Bill Barr plans to 'take action' against officials who 'single out' churches for violating social distancing rules. And by 'take action', he could mean anything from reprimands, firings, to him actually eating you
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Not content with a stock market crash, pandemic, bars closed and virtual speakeasies, compression of the roaring 1920s into the first few months of the 2020s continues with the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
We shall all do a barrel roll in his honor
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
OPEC+ pledges to reduce production by less than 10 million barrels per day. Global consumption already down over 25 million barrels per day. So... good?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
"Good Morning America" producer Thea Trachtenberg dies at 51. Rough week there
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Never pick a fight with someone who buys videotape by the barrel
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some couples are so embarrassed by the truth they lie about where they met. Tell us your story
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Barn find. Cool old car. Just kidding. 300 of them
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A relative newcomer, William Barr has quickly moved up the ranks to become the second most evil person in the Trump administration
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Weatherman in Birmingham reaches peak Alabama giving storm location
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 11, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
Are Dove beauty bars actually soap? Short answer: No. Long answer: They're "syndet" bars, they'll do the job, keep washing your hands. Oh, and get a life
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
I say old chap, I'll give you a pennyweight of eggs for a barleycorn of toilet paper
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Worry not you NYC idiots, Mayor Bill de Blasio says he has no regrets about telling you drunks to visit bars the day before they were shut down to contain the spread of coronavirus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this barricaded conversation
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Gas prices are too low? OPEC: Hold my oil barrel
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Michele Bachmann warns if Joe Biden is elected president, "this will become Barack Obama's third term." Is she trying to get Biden elected?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hey, You know we haven't heard much from AG Barr lately I wonder what...Nope, still an irredeemable shiatstain and and active danger to the foundations of our democracy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Barr has been silent recently because he was too busy earning his PhD in epidemiology
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
The bar is so low, two massive lies by Trump make for a 'straightforward' briefing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
NFL pundit Mike Lombardi dumps on Tua for twice-broken wrists, dumps on mock drafters for ignoring brittleness in ranking players, dumps on Mel Kiper for letting agent buddies influence him to overrate busts like JP Losman. This is today's NFL dump
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
For nearly 15 years, patrons have been leaving their mark on a Georgia bar by writing on a dollar bill and stapling it on the walls and ceilings. This week the owner carefully pulled them all down and gave them to her workers
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 08, 2020
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drinking News Summary livestream rescheduled for tonight at 7pm eastern because it's that kind of day. Grab a libation and join us. Grab a TotalFark or BareFark sub while you're at it. Maybe shenanigans will happen -Drew
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Milk Bar cookies are coming very soon, me droogs. They're right horrorshow
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Dammit, Barry. Difficulty: Not Arrowverse
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Star)
 
 
 
Arrr me Barbadan mateys hand over yer cergo o venterlaters Yo ho ho me buckos
source: morningstaronline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
34th-floor barbecue ignites major call to fire department, who advise occupier that it is never a good time, and especially not now, to light up a 34th-floor barbecue
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 07, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark is fundraising! I have a GIF party thread for that! You bring your best gifs, I'll bring the TotalFark and BareFark sponsorships! [Update: done for now.]
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Missouri COVID-19 cases to peak earlier and at lower numbers than previously predicted, indicating Gov. Parsons closed the barn door juuusst before the cows left
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Add worst-ever bleaching to the list your mom and the Great Barrier Reef have in common
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MarketingLand)
 
 
 
Oh how will we live in a world where our browsers can no longer pick up customized advertising like barnacles on an ocean liner?
source: marketingland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Alton Illinois mayor cracks down on parties in his town. His wife is arrested in a bar. This is not going to make your home confinement any easier, your honor
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
During this strange new era in sports, it's even possible for Jets executives to do something that's the opposite of howling stupidity, although there's still a chance they'll use their #1 draft pick on a quidditch player from Vassar College
source: wfan.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 05, 2020
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
President Stable Genius declares himself smarter than a submicroscopic infectious agent. That's a mighty high bar you set for yourself Donny
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The pandemic is breaking down political barriers between regional and federal governments. Ha ha, not you America
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 04, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
How many Farkers ever got a Guinness bar towel? How many still have one? Post pics if you do. Link goes to legendary thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
The earliest surviving record of the F-word has been found in a National Library of Scotland vault. Like most things Scots say you can barely understand what "wan frkkit funling" means
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Subby and her roommate are resorting to self care during the plague. Do you have tips for barbering your own hair? Those of you with short hair, did you buy clippers? For longer hair, how do you tackle the back? Bald people can just sit down and STFU
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
It's the return of Robert Wickens as IndyCar takes on the virtual course at Barber Motorsports. 2:30 PM ET, NBCSN and iRacing stream
source: motorsports.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AskMen)
 
 
 
Farkers can now claim to have been following a proud Finnish tradition for all these years
source: ca.askmen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 03, 2020
(Hello! Magazine)
 
 
 
11 people with more booze than you
source: ca.hellomagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Quarantine - bars + pets = wholesome entertainmemt
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The 1000 bed USS Comfort, docked in Manhattan to relieve overwhelmed NYC hospitals, has a whopping 20 patients aboard because it bars patients with numerous preexisting conditions
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Are you kidding, Donnie? We barely know how to wear pants
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 02, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Taylor Hawkins offers a drum tutorial video for fans locked down due to the pandemic and possessed of a desire to learn
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Even though he totally fubared his lackluster response to the coronavirus pandemic, NYC Mayor De Blasio is now "very concerned" about an anti-gay evangelical group trying to help by running a Central Park coronavirus hospital
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 01, 2020
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Cruise ship bookings for 2021 are up 9% on news that cruise ship passengers are dumber than the politics tab at an open bar
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
During this COVID-19 crisis, Alabamians turn to spiritual guidance for comfort by overrunning liquor stores. Amen
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Mullets, teased hair and bare chests. Here's some gawdawful 80s metal band photos that will make your millennium
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 31, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Job creator gets $25 million bailout, fires a bunch of workers, and violates collective bargaining agreements
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
FC Barcelona players agree to a 70% pay cut during the COVID-19 crisis...and they're donating the remaining 30% to pay the salaries of non-playing staff. Mes que un club
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
When this is all over America will have split into 5000 tiny kingdoms surrounded by armed guards and improvised barriers
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 30, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
No sports to bet on. No construction for no show jobs. No garbage to collect a percentage on. No restaurants, bars and strip clubs to move illegal products. Won't someone please think of the poor mafia?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 27, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Admiral Ackbar has some advice about pulling your money out of your 401(k) or IRA right now
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 26, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good -- and here's hoping it leaves the farking murderous traitor with nothing but but a barrel with suspenders
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 25, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Trump businesses are barred from receiving stimulus money. That's gotta burn
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 24, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Barack Obama has entered the chat
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Labbatt Breweries joins fight against COVID by retooling their facilities to make piss flavored hand sanitizer
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 23, 2020
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
WOO HOO, Damon Albarn turns fifty-two, and while we want to WOO HOO, for some reason Out of Time seems more apropos
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
You can order mixed packs of beer not usually available in your state
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
Trump weighs in on the Barnes and Noble debate
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The embarrassing hazards of online teaching and work videoconferencing in the Coronavirus pandemic
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Spring break tourists partying on beaches. New hotness: Local resident boaters partying on sand bars
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 22, 2020
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
In a pandemic where all the barbershops and hair salons are closed, is cutting your own hair feasible? Six tips you should know, and why your haircut will still suck
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 21, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
C'mon you got enough toilet paper, you might as well go out big. Guitars from Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page and some guy named Eric are up for auction
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(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
The nanny states legalized drinks-to-go during the COVID crisis. New Orleans...banned them?
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(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
When a mob of these guys come for a drink you better hop to it
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(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
When a mob of these guys come for a drink you better hop to it
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Fri March 20, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Picture your local barista crossed with the trolley from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
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(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Old and busted: putting sneeze guards over the salad bar. The new hotness: putting sneeze guards over the cashiers at Hy-Vee
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Salon and barbershop owners worried about COVID-19. This is not necessarily an interesting story, but farker's good friend is in the first photo (and she's very concerned)
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Idiot YouTube prankster licks NYC subway pole for those sweet viral coronavirus clicks
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
A Guinness-loving miniature pony was "devastated" after the coronavirus led to the cancellation of his boozy birthday party at the local pub. Please, won't somebody think of the ponies?
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Frozen 2 a few months early not enough to keep the kids satiated? How about a brand new Pixar film that just barely hit theaters?
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Thu March 19, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump continues printing Breitbart threads and presenting them as medical advice. Today's example that had to be corrected in realtime: FDA has approved chloroquine for use against COVID-19
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(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Brexit talks delayed after EU rep Michael Barnier tests positive for Cornavirus (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Bar owner wants to help employees out of work after coronavirus shuts him down, realizes he can sell his sealed alcohol bottles to walk-ups and use the money to give his workers interest-free loans
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(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Bar owner wants to help employees out of work after coronavirus shuts him down, realizes he can sell his sealed alcohol bottles to walk-ups and use the money to give his workers interest-free loans
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(Los Angeles Magazine)
 
 
 
Shutdowns are a major drag
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(Los Angeles Magazine)
 
 
 
Shutdowns are a major drag
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(Fark)
 
 
 
So, when does Borderland 3 for Mac come out on steam?
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(Patch)
 
 
 
A Wisconsin bar owner defiantly stayed open on St. Patrick's Day after a coronavirus ban by the Governor shut down all dine-in businesses. He said he had to make a stand
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(Fark)
 
 
 
"Mars is a barren wasteland and I am completely alone here. I already knew that, of course. But there's a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it." ― Andy Weir, The Martian. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, isolated edition
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Tulsi Gabbard drops out of race. National day of mourning suspended due to coronavirus
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(Google)
 
 
 
Pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel down his pants. Bartender says "I'll give you free grog if you tell me why..." Pirate says "Yar It's drivin' me nuts" It's your Bad Joke Thursday thread (LGN)
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(9 News)
 
 
 
You can shut down the bar, but you can't shut down the thirst for beer
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Wed March 18, 2020
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Listen, and understand. The Gobblerito is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are fed
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(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Asshat bar owner stays open, is unrepentant when local news crew calls him out
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Tue March 17, 2020
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Woman discovers bar of soap she's been washing her hands with for days is block of cheese
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Mr. Greatest Stock Market of All Time is now staring down the barrel of 20% unemployment
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(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Shiat's getting real continued: Police in Cincinnati board up bar, make several arrests, and chase out 40 idiots who confuse social distancing for social drinking...after warning the bar days before not to stay open
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
No, I will not leave the bar simply because I am 'on fire'
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Feds ask young people to stay from bars and restaurants. Not because of the coronavirus but because they're big party poopers
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(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Grocery store gives seniors an hour to shop without those pesky kids around, pizza chain will deliver free pizzas to seniors. Bonus: subby is barely a senior, will be found in the produce aisle doing his best Burgess Meredith impression
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(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you can get to Cranford, NJ there's a guy with 2000 pounds of corn beef and 30 barrels of beer he can't sell and ..... so much for social distancing
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(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Scenes from the bitter last calls at NYC bars where New Yorkers poured out their souls, left glass water rings on the counters because of the Coronavirus shutdown
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
The kids at "Fox and Friends" have gone from "Go outside, go to your favorite restaurants and bars to own the libs and show them what you think of this hoax" to "our co-host are sitting across the studio from each other for safety" in an awful hurry
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(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Social distancing D&D alignment chart
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, over at the DoJ, Barr preparing to clear the Russians of all political interference charges
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Mon March 16, 2020
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Bar patron spends over $2411 on $30 worth of food and booze. With "photo of receipt" goodness
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(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
José Andrés - the chef who fed Puerto Rico after the hurricane - is closing his DC-area restaurants and is setting up community kitchens instead
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
The governor of Ohio is offering a one-time liquor buyback option to support bars and restaurants during the pandemic, to aid those establishments that have stocked up on high-proof liquor for the St. Patrick's Day holiday
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(Pix11)
 
 
 
NY, NJ and CT coordinate to close gyms, movie theaters, bars, casinos, sit down restaurants and gatherings over 50 people as of 8pm Monday night. Still can't agree on tolls
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(ESPN)
 
 
 
Kirk Cousins signs an extension, Chris Jones and Shaq Barett get franchise tagged, and MUCH more to come in YOUR NFL free agency day one thread
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(PopCulture)
 
 
 
Kid Rock is tired of this Deep State big government stomping all over his constitutional right to spread viral pneumonia in his trashy bar
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Thousands of people just disembarked a cruise ship in Miami without being tested for COVID-19. So we've got that going for us
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(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Ireland to close all pubs for two weeks to slow down coronavirus and deal with tendencies of drunken Irishmen to ignore social distancing. How sobering
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(Axios)
 
 
 
Bar's closed. Crying Farker out front should've told ya
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Sun March 15, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Nevada brothel says to put a bag over both of your heads
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(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
This is why you get your bars and restaurants shut down. Face palm tag on hiatus based on CDC guidance
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Governors start to order all bars and restaurants closed because you people couldn't figure out how social distancing works
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(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Two barges being led by tug boat and carrying grain sink in Mississippi River after crashing into a bridge. Tug boat captain investigated for loafing
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Fri March 13, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Buffett bars shareholders from Berkshire's annual meeting - there's no seeing the Oracle this year
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(Wired)
 
 
 
The invisible lives of blow jobs
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(TMZ)
 
 
 
Charles Barkley goes into self-quarantine after testing for coronavirus. That's turrrible
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Australia's home affairs minister has tested positive for coronavirus. He has just returned from a trip to the US where he was photographed in bigly proximity to Ivanka Trump and Bill Barr
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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Man barred from posting cute cat videos due to lawsuits
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Thu March 12, 2020
(TechSpot)
 
 
 
Remember the brother of cocaine kingpin Escobar, that came up with the Fold2, for $399? Well, turns out it is the Samsung Galaxy Fold, that sold for over $2,000.00 under the stickers covering the Samsung name
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(HiConsumption)
 
 
 
J.F. Sebastian's home can now be your office. Miniature replicants, Roy Batty sold separately
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(Pix11)
 
 
 
Jersey City mayor announces a cornavirus curfew on bars and nightclubs to prevent people from gathering to drink their Coronas
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(NBC New York)
 
 
 
For the first time in United States history, the New York City St. Patrick's Day parade has been postponed, so anyone barfing on the LIRR next Tuesday really will be sick
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(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Human leg bones: the rebar of the ancients
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Wed March 11, 2020
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Tulsi Gabbard Named Democratic Nominee After Discovery Of Obscure Rule That Grants Nomination To Whoever Wins 0.7% Of The Vote In Missouri
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(WTAE)
 
 
 
In other news, there's a Steelers bar in Rome
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(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
"Where the burger goes off the rails, however, is the barbecued pork steak, T-ravs, Red Hot Riplets and Provel placed on top of the patty"
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here you go Farkettes, a list of things to wear to the bar if you want the Farkers to stay far away
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Tue March 10, 2020
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Sexual abuser Harvey Weinstein's legal team pleads with judge that he'll die behind bars if he's sentenced to more than five years. Tiny violins pleas
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(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Are you one of those folks who has a thrill seeking personality, for whom significant risk of personal harm is a prerequisite for arousal? Cruise bargains are here for you youngsters, subby has a cloud to yell at from his Coronavirus isolation booth
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(Independent)
 
 
 
Barcelona vs Napoli Champions League game to be behind closed doors. At least there won't be riots afterwards
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(CNN)
 
 
 
I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me
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(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
When an arrest goes wrong in Wisconsin it can hurt. He's got my d*** spray him, spray him already
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Oh boy. DC Circuit Court agrees that House Judiciary can see the Mueller grand jury material that Barr doesn't want them to read
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(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
Not News: Use your fake ID to get in a campus bar, get drunk & meet a girl to take back to your dorm. News: You're so drunk & so horny, you start hooking up in the wrong dorm. FARK: The "wrong dorm" is the college police station
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Trump's blue-wall lead over Biden barely holding, just a couple of more days without a gaffe should break it Joe
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Mon March 09, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Charles Barkley selling off some of the turrible clutter in his house
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(APM Marketplace)
 
 
 
With SXSW canceled due to Covid-19 concerns, businesses in Austin now face a combined $350-million budget hole
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
California High Speed Rail Authority's official stance of "This is fine. Everything is fine." not seen as terribly convincing as the "bullet" train barrels down the (non-existent) tracks to nowhere
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(Snopes)
 
 
 
Could Barack Obama Serve as VP? Measured, thoughtful and knowledgeable Snopes opinion to the left. Measured (snert), thoughtful (LOL), and knowledgeable (giggle) Fark opinions to the right. Spiffy, Stupid, Scary, and Sick tags out on strike
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Sun March 08, 2020
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
Man draws gun in bar after becoming upset with karaoke song. No one likes The Eagles, man
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(Independent)
 
 
 
Not The Onion: Man infected with coronavirus goes to bars 'to spread the virus'
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Sat March 07, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Italy to quarantine whole of Lombardy due to coronavirus. It's about the size of New Hampshire and 10 million people live there
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