headlines found matching 'Art' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Tue August 04, 2020 |
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NyanSat kits? Are they made of Pop-Tarts?
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Man sets new Guinness record for most Rubik's cubes solved underwater in a single breath, then kicks back and waits for the marriage proposals to start pouring in
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So the CBP actually uses that Family Guy color chart?
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Say, you think we'll see any surprises in part one of the Stargirl season finale? Find out tonight at 8pm eastern on ABC
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When you have to go to a website called 12365auto.com for stats to back your article you might as well stamp "Chinese shill" right on the byline
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If it's a Tuesday, there's an election in America somewhere. It's also the Tuesday MSNBC primetime discussion thread, starting at 7 PM Eastern with The Reid Out
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After all, showing Kindergarten Cop is morally equivalent to showing Birth of a Nation
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Inventor of the Gaia hypothesis and one of the inspirations behind SimEarth turns 101, in no hurry for her earthly embrace
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US Senator Tina Smith (D-Munchies) has submitted a bill to legalize recreational marijuana nationally. Supporters of the issue say they haven't been following politics since PlutoTV started 24 hour classic Doctor Who
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Researchers find abstract art evokes a more abstract mindset than representational art. This is particularly true if you have kids with crayons and walls at home
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Kim Jon Un: "It's not that he has public toilet anxiety - it's all part of his plan to protect his feces from falling into the wrong hands"
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Lava oceans may not explain the brightness of some hot super-Earths or the suckitude of "Revenge of the Sith"
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As expected by everyone outside of Democratic Party insiders, red state voters prefer the pro-Trump Republican to the pro-Trump Democrat
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Mary Trump has sold more books than 'Art Of The Deal' has sold in the past 29 years. Simon & Schuster's CEO says some have compared her runaway bestseller to "The Godfather"
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HPE finishes assimilating Cray, will begin emborggening supercomputing as soon as it can figure out how to add ink cartridges
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Trump says Microsoft should pay 'key money' to the US Treasury for facilitating TikTok deal. For you non-New Yorkers, 'key money' is a term of art used by corrupt landlords for illegal kickback payments extorted from tenants
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This French bulldog that eats like a human will make your heart surrender to it
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"My partner and I have been together for two years; we're both men. He's wonderful; I love him immensely. He always orders off the kids menu and won't try restaurants that don't offer American food. He's picky and a bad guest. How can I fix this?"
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Chipotle rolls out new clothing line dyed with leftover avocado pits. Maybe brown pants should be part of it
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Three slashies = oblig. 482 slashies = $25000
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"Penis microbiota predicts if a man's female partner will develop bacterial vaginosis." Also, your penis has a microbiota, regardless of how big you think it is
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NHL Playoffs Day 4: 12+ hours of hockey. Will the Coyotes or Nashville be the apex predator? Will the Leafs lose to a 42 YEAR OLD ZAMBONI DRIVER WHO WORKS FOR THEM? Will the Canucks answer the call of the Wild? We start @ Noon ET. LOCKDOWN PIERRE
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Forecast in Germany is for partly COVID cloudy with a possibility of light death clearing up by 2021
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| Mon August 03, 2020 |
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Ramón Gerard Antonio Estévez - professionally known as Martin Sheen - is 80 years young today
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This is our Chernobyl moment. And what we need is a long-ass article by a historian of economic disasters writing about a sociologist who studied risk. No, really, we do. We do. Just read TFA
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Stop me if you've heard this one before - shirtless, maskless, drunken, belligerent English tourists start brawl - oh, you have heard it?
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No one asks a cartel, 'What's your ideological purpose?' You don't ask OPEC, 'What's your ideology?' You don't ask a drug gang, 'What's your program?' The Republicans exist for the pursuit of power for no purpose
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Adorable raccoons show off their finger paintings
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Wait, you mean I should not have postponed taking more brooding Brooklyn Alpha-male selfies to organize a massive NYC party boat booze-cruise? That was wrong? Maybe someone should have told me
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Tonight on RAW: Apollo Crews tries to put MVP out of the Hurt Business, Drew looks to get even with Randy, Will Asuka be out for revenge on Sasha & Bayley (is water wet?) & more Seth shenanigans incoming. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
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Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) continues its Triple Play, with episodes of Our Miss Brooks, My Favorite Husband and a 6 part Superman that actually includes Lois Lane
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On this day in history, in 1846, the ill-fated Donner party encountered their first delay. And no, sadly it was not due to the Sommelier being unable to suggest a proper pairing for long pork
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After pausing their advertising to reconsider their strategy, the Trump campaign has re-started their ad buys. Spoiler Alert: they decided to go with the cunning strategy of "attacking Biden"
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If your article has to go with "almost certain" and "surely more likely", you might not be a good journalist
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Monday. I was actually productive. Welcome to the MSNBC Discussion thread, where prime time starts at 7 PM Eastern
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Drunken man pulls out a shotgun on his neighbors for having a loud party. Man, Jimmy Fallon is not looking good these days
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Two restaurants have filled that void in our hearts which we all vaguely sense but can never pin down or put a name to. Presenting the pierogi taco
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"Eat Out to Help" scheme starts today and are we still doing "Phrasing?"
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Google is partnering with ADT partnering on home security products. At least they didn't include Comcast
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Scientists think they know just how warm the earth is going to get
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One-quarter of the entire country of Bangladesh is now under water
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| Sun August 02, 2020 |
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It's long past time to start handing out fines to people who refuse to wear masks
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"The most striking peculiarity of this bizarre era is that a man like Trump could command the national stage and the media's attention for the better part of five years. That fact does not speak well of the condition of American civil society"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Carrot dogs are perfect for vegan attendees at your party. Are carrot dogs a taco? Well, that remains up for debate
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Welcome ye Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. This week it's Show & Tell Volume 2. Show us a work of art you've made, and Tell us the story behind it. Difficulty: Art you haven't posted in our F'artiste contests before
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NHL playoffs day two brings 5 more games starting at 1 PM ET. Pace yourself Farkers, it's a marathon, not a sprint
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Here's a bright idea during these coronavirus times: Don't rent your backyard pool out to busloads of children for a swimming party
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The Mercs lock out the front, with Max and the Clerc following. It's the first of the Silverstone F1 double header, starting at 9 AM ET. Link goes to Lando's helmet graphics, designed by Eva, aged 6
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Sources claim Ray Park's Instagram fellatio video have gotten him replaced in "Darth Maul" standalone film, it's not like anybody's unfamiliar with "Star Wars" & sucking the last few years
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Bob and Doug are bringing their Dragon back to Earth. Targeting either the first manned Atlantic Ocean splashdown since Apollo 9, or the first Gulf of Mexico splashdown ever at 2:42 PM ET; live stream starts at 7:30 AM ET
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| Fri July 31, 2020 |
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Life imitates art: GOP Senate candidate's version of the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers turns out to be a con
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Fark Twitch Livestream in progress (Started at 7:30 PM ET). Friday Movie Night, Quiplash first, followed by a movie
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Tonight on Smackdown: Can Uncle Allen hold off the King of the Ropes? Will Bayley's ego write a check that Nikki can cash? Naomi deserves better but still gets stuck facing Lacey & how are Mandy and Otis doing? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on FOX
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It's Friday. Again. Fresh Hell is already here, but the MSNBC discussion starts at 7PM ET with the Reid Out
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Subby isn't sure about banning protests, but if they do, then they should start with this Pizzagate/QAnon march going on right now in Hollywood
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Oh, look, it's THIS thread again. "President Trump Participates in a COVID-19 Response and Storm Preparedness Roundtable" -- live stream starting Soon™
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Not interested in folding phones? What if we throw in a free smartwatch
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95% of adults are now wearing face masks in public since Trump started wearing one. Surely someone to the Right will point out what an example of leadership that is, Biden didn't get us to 95%
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Shark attacks in the ocean have you swimming in the lakes instead? Don't read this article (disturbing image warning)
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Hey, I know, Why don't we ask the White House's resident white supremacist what HE thought of our first black president's eulogy for a civil right icon, and then write a whole article about it?
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A tobacco-based vaccine could start clinical trials in a few weeks. Which feels about right for this timeline - tobacco being what saves us
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'On Aug. 16, Snow and her daughter, Jennifer Clark, stole a cart full of food from ACME Market on East Avenue in Akron. When an employee tried to confront them in the parking lot, Snow opened the doors of her vehicle and let out three pit bulls.'
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Will Minoru Suzuki fulfill his promise of a "public execution", or can Yuji Nagata deliver "Blue Justice" to the King of Pancrase? Who will participate in the KOPW 2020 tournament? SUMMER STRUGGLE 2020 continues @ 5:30 AM EDT on NJPWWorld.com
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| Thu July 30, 2020 |
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The last sentence in the article proves that this accident is bound to turn out shiatty for a bunch of people
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Yes, there is possibly a great deal to mock in Herman Cain dying from COVID-19 after not wearing a mask to Trump's Tulsa Plague Party. But never forget that moment in history when he inspired us all to rise up against the aliens threatening Earth
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Kushner decided not to implement a detailed pandemic response plan in April in part because they figured the virus would be relegated to Democratic states
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Thursday is a world of suck. So, here's the MSNBC Discussion thread, starting at 7 PM Eastern
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"Need a new computer?" article comes complete with unhelpful pic
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Republicans are maybe, just maybe, starting to believe that Trump may be going just a bit too far
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Hockey playoffs (& badge hunt) start Saturday. The final three warm up games are today at 4, 7, & 10pmET. Come for the dumb piped in crowd noise, stay for the Goon Juice. DAL/NSH, BOS/CBJ, & VGK/ARI. NHL Network for sure, probably other channels too
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| (Some New Wave Guy) |
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This week's 3 hour serving of vintage 80's alt/post-punk/goth/new wave includes music from Hüsker Dü, Thomas Leer, Julian Cope, and Quando Quango. Hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #144. Starts 1PM ET LGT streaming options
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New Jack the Ripper victim comes forward with 'details' of her slashies after partaking in 'past life regression' trend
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One of the best 'Parts Unknown' out there: Anthony Bourdain eating at his first Waffle House
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The Commerce Department's GDP report for the 3rd quarter will show the single greatest contraction of the economy in all American history. As in, there has never been a greater contraction. It was THE BIGGEST CONTRACTION EVER. See? Winning
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#1 tennis player Ashleigh Barty refuses to travel to the U.S. to play in the US Open: "...it was a difficult decision but there are still significant risks involved due to COVID-19 and I don't feel comfortable putting my team and I in that position"
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McDonald's is McPartnering with the Mayo Clinic to ketchup in aid and coronavirus safety awareness
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Watch the United Launch Alliance launch the Perseverance rover and Ingenuity helicopter to Mars. Liftoff is scheduled for 7:50 AM ET launch which is at the start of a two-hour launch window. Jezero Crater or bust
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Great news for all you Zoom participants who miss being able to smell everyone else in your meetings
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In addition to billions for military projects and millions for a new FBI headquarters, The Trump Administration now wants $377 million for West Wing remodeling to be included in the Coronavirus relief bill, because reasons
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Good news: if your $600 smart glasses have prescription lenses, those prescription lenses will still work when you wake up this Saturday. All the other smart features? Not so much
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Director of the Detroit Museum of Contemporary Art has been fired for racist harassment and abuse of over 70 staffers. Rare Detroit museum director behaving badly trifecta in play
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| Wed July 29, 2020 |
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Jim Jordan, another out of touch conservative politician oversimplifying and misinterpreting complex issues to prove big tech is out to get conservatives, in the Breibart Tweet Zone
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Fastest-growing smartphone maker in mainland China isn't Xiaomi, Huawei, OnePlus, Oppo, or even Vivo. You've probably never heard of it
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New Jersey puts in a strong bid for rejoining the Covidiot States, with a rash of massive Airbnb parties in McMansions of typical atrocious Jersey design
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BoJo's plan to get us cycling again gets off to a rocky start as the website set up to issue free £50 bike repair vouchers crashes within a yoctosecond of going live
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Wednesday. Welcome to the MSNBC Discussion thread, starting at 7 PM Eastern
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Deutsche Bank reports a small 2nd-quarter profit despite loan losses, mostly from its laundering and international graft departments
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Gohmert gets a new nickname, courtesy of his own party leadership
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hosts of underage drinking party say they didn't intend to host a "COVID Party," just a crowded house party with people from multiple states, lots of alcohol, and no masks. And that girl they let in said she only had strep. Well okay, then
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You know that cartoon where Bugs Bunny cuts off Florida? Britain is proposing something similar
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As the two parties have sorted themselves into a rural party and an urban party, the fact that the Senate is effectively gerrymandered in favor of the rural party is starting to become a major problem
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Banco Santander lost $13 billion last quarter
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The clock is ticking down, the lights are dimming, and the bartender looks ready to announce Last Call. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, right before the Fark Fiction Anthology deadline edition
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"Coronary artery disease. Final answer"
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Witnesses say NYC woman killed by shark just started screaming, not dancing or singing about America
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A funny thing happens when you judge by the picture but don't read the article you retweet, Donald
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Smart swim goggles can pair with your smartwatch, display distance, heart rate, Sarah Connor, calories and stroke count
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"The last time Tyson, 54, was in the ring ... the Crazy Frog song was number one in the UK charts"
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Ordinary average size ocean sunfish baffles beachgoers after washing up on Aussie shore. Since this is a kooked-up British tabloid article, it's a HUGE 6ft 'alien creature' (possible nsfw content on page)
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Hockey's back with a vengeance, six, SIX games today starting at Noon ET. Yeah they're exhibition games but ...hockey. No idea where you can watch them (NHLtv), but somewhere hockey is actually being played ... in July ...strange timeline indeed
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'NASA does not throw darts'
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Scientists say all forests on Earth will be clear cut within 100-200 years. The good news is, civilization will collapse in only 20-40 years, so the trees should be safe
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People are starting to call homeless encampments "Trumpvilles"
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NASA's Mars Rover will be powered by US-made plutonium from the Oak Ridge Lab in Tennessee. Those inferior furriner atoms and electrons and heat decay and particles and whatnot just won't do
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Roche's rheumatoid arthritis drug fails its COVID-19 trial, should soon replace demon sex and alien DNA on Donnie's recommended miracle cure list
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Since neither major party trusts the other, do we need the UN to monitor our elections?
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COVID-19 is killing a Texan every 6 minutes, 16 seconds or about how long it takes the average Texan to read this article
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Article asks "American Catastrophe: How Did We Get Here?". Answer: see tag
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George R. R. Martin, please write, and write faster
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Subby is trying to come up with a funny headline but keeps getting stuck on the part where the county Sheriff just told the county library that his office won't be answering their 911 calls because their board supports Black Lives Matter. Help
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Seamless psychedelia
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| Tue July 28, 2020 |
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Patrick Mahomes is now a part owner of The Royals, adding to his existing ownership of the Broncos, Chargers, and Raiders
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Oh sure, when the fire department uses an excavator to rescue people, they're heroes, but when I use an excavator to trim trees OSHA throws a fit
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NJ Governor to teens and 20somethings: While you don't gotta fight for your right to party, we'd prefer if you knuckleheads didn't
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Article claims "President Trump's campaign can't get back on track". Subby didn't know clown cars need tracks
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Tuesday once more. Time for the MSNBC Discussion thread, where prime time starts at 7 PM Eastern
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Remember in Avengers: Endgame when Smart Hulk just suddenly appeared and said it took him 18 months to become Smart Hulk? Well looks like Marvel is going to show us what happened during those 18 months
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And the Lord God spoke to Benjamin and said, "Build thee an ark. Well, more like a 'party barge.' You can use your old lawn mower engine. Oh, and put a water cannon on it 'cause that'll be super-sweet." The word of the Lord
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(Celebrity) challenges (Other celebrity) to (event) after threatening to (verb) his (body part)
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Amateur astronomers discover an asteroid has changed it's trajectory and is heading towards earth. Article waits several paragraphs before noting that it won't arrive for one million years
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Has anyone seen a "wartime" president golf this much?
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Once again the Fox news booking department is serving double duty as the White House personel office, as Trump taps yet another frequent Fox News guest for a government post. This time retired Army col. Douglas Macgregor to be ambassador to Germany
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Need some good news? The largest vaccine study in the world is under way as 30,000 volunteers started getting shots yesterday
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Germany says Google can remember search results to news articles it was asked to forget, citing the well-documented "Fark: No Fact Is Too Obscure or Forgotten" treatise
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"My friend has been quarantining alone for months. She's convinced that she's having an emotional relationship with a ghost living inside her apartment and that there is a sexual component to it. Should I be concerned about her mental health?"
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Republican dissidents ready to let Biden win; Look ahead to 2024 to take back the real GOP party
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Martian Mole-Men? Why not? That actually sounds pretty cool
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According to this DailyFail headline, "Britney Spears Demands Attention" just because she's posing with a ton of henna body art and green bikin--what? She actually said "I demand attention"? Never mind
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Will Barr show? Will he be charged with treason if he does show up? Will there be enough popcorn? THIS is your Barr Congressional hearing thread. (10am start time)
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Who farted?
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Uplifting story of the day: "Woman used bra to try to restrain victim during thwarted burglary attempt" They tried to get away, but got hooked. Now they're clasped
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Narrator: Even Wharton School grads know that this doesn't portend a profitable future for Facebook
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| Mon July 27, 2020 |
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Tonight on RAW: Drew picks the stipulation for his non-title match vs Dolph, Sasha & Asuka fight for the RAW Women's belt, a tag team triple threat match & Eddie's son, Dominik, faces Seth about Uncle Rey. The fun starts at 8 PM ET on USA
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Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) finishes that 15-part Superman storyline. But first, episodes of Our Miss Brooks and My Favorite Husband
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Seventeen anesthesiology residents at one of Florida's "premier" university hospital systems went to a party and got COVID-19. Meanwhile, you flunked trigonometry, but at least you know to wear a mask and stay home
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Another Monday, another week of the MSNBC Discussion thread, starting at 7 PM Eastern
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The Senate GOP rolls out their big plan for Coronavirus relief: Do something the labor department told them back in March would be impossible, and individually peg unemployment benefits at 70% of whatever a person's paycheck used to be
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Trump complains that the media including Fox won't tell the truth about Portland. They just show the bad parts with all the beatings of the moms and the vets, never the good parts of the beatings of the black people
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QAnon believers will likely outlast and outsmart Twitter's bans if for no other reason than you just can't eliminate cockroaches and viruses that easily
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Bernie Sanders' delegates plan to stage a protest at the DNC if "Medicare for all" isn't part of the party platform; don't seem to realize the moderator of a Zoom meeting can put you on "mute" without asking you
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Who would ever have guessed that mandatory lockdowns and soaring unemployment would cause a rise in household abuse in cramped NYC apartments, aside from everybody
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Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis thought he was going to be launched to Republican stardom at Trump's Florida convention and be the darling of the party. Now knows he will be just a piss boy at Mar-a-Lago after Trump gets thrown out
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Ranking the deaths of the heroes of the Star Wars movies. List is missing Jek Porkins, Luke's stylish Force-caused heart attack should be higher and the second to worst should be the crappiest and most shameful
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"During quarantine, my wife of 7 years and I have started getting into horror films. Or, rather, I am pretending to as I hate horror movies but they make my wife incredibly horny, so I take the short-term nonsense for long-term gain, Is that wrong?"
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Will the Jr. Heavyweight Champ accept the Bone Soldier's challenge? Can Master Wato avenge Tenzan? Just what is Kazuchika Okada scheming? Day 2 of SUMMER STRUGGLE 2020 starts @ 5:30 AM EDT on NJPWWorld.com, the King of Sports
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| Sun July 26, 2020 |
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For your safety, please stay one cow apart
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The Trump administration gave $21 million to see if heartburn med Pepcid cures COVID-19. It went about as well as anything else Trump has done
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It's back-to-back dramatic horror as Lazlo Kreizler uses hypnosis on Sara before trying it on Señora Linares to devastating effect while William Randolph Hearst holds a party. Will the detectives find the kidnapped child? The Alienist, 9 PM ET on TNT
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Welcome to Fartist Friday. The 2020 Summer Olympics® would be starting but for this meddling pandemic, so let's throw a Farklympics. Use a paint/draw program to showcase a Fark-inspired event you'd medal in. Bonus: Include your Team Farkistan uniform
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Walmart bans couple from all stores for 1 year for following mask mandate
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ComicCon@Home wraps up with a Will Eisner talk, NASA talking about Perseverance, and Nathan Fillion, Joss Whedon, Alan Tudyk, Gina Torres, Mekia Cox, Molly Quinn, Seamus Dever, and Jon Huertas talking about Nathan Fillion. Fun starts @ 1 PM ET
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Conservative "artist" John McNaughton has tossed off another doozy. This one features Harriet Tubman, MLK and Robert E. Lee worshipping Trump. Seriously
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This week at Tin Soldier, things fall apart. The center cannot hold. Hyacinth is glued to the wall. It's still the magic storm and it still a free web serial by a farker, DIT
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Seeing their candidate start to go down in flames, anti-abortion groups seek to change Biden's platform
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I'd like to speak to your fire department manager
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| Fri July 24, 2020 |
| (Some Astrobiologist) |
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In a conclusion reached by pure logic, volcanism is certainly behind growth of hydrogen-rich early atmospheres on both Earth-like and Mars-like planets. Mind melded
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Because there are only so many hours in a day, this article had to be confined to just 32 unhinged and incoherent things Dumpy said to Lumpy during last night's interview
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"A group waging guerrilla warfare within the GOP" So, the party just might have a future after all
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A police officer arrested for drug trafficking after an overdose death investigation also had steroids and a secret compartment in his dashboard. This is not the exception that proves the rule
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Tonight on Smackdown: Naomi goes to Miz TV (again), Sasha & Bayley address being so much better than the rest of the women's roster & Sheamus meets Jeff Hardy to toss a few stiff ones in a Bar Fight. The fun starts at 8 PM ET on FOX
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Just like their chances in each election cycle, Arizona Democratic Party headquarters goes up in flames
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Apollo 17's Dr. Jack Schmitt has an article in Politico. tl;dr: "Please land someone else on the farking Moon before I die"
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Freaky Fresh hell Friday with Fourteen weeks and Four days until election day. It's your MSNBC discussion thread starting at 7 PM Eastern with The Reid Out
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Amazon says it's so good at policing third-party software for Alexa these guys could only get over 200+ rule-breaking apps past it
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Brooks Brothers looks too good to be thrown on the cart
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The Hallmark Channel is finally going to start showing LGBTQI Christmas movies. It's as if One Million Moms screamed out and then were silenced
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Facebook employees finally start to reckon with the monster they helped create
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Walmart is opening at least six more health clinics in Atlanta by the end of the year, won't comment on if it's being sued by the gubberner for wearing masks
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Remember when the Republicans were the party or "State's Rights"? Good times
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Walmart is better at being the CDC than the CDC
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The number of heart transplants declined sharply during the pandemic even as the number of donors continues to rise
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Yesterday was the 102nd anniversary of the greatest theorem in theoretical physics. Link is a great article about the man responsible for this advance. Sorry Albert, it ain't you
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Article about how stupid dogs really are seems to have cat-like typing going on in it
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A guy with more money than God says that another stimulus is "not in the best interests of the people." Subby is counting quarters to pay for gas
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is National Amelia Earhart Day, in which millions of people all over the world celebrate by checking their attics to make sure she isn't hiding in there
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Let's talk about which state is most likely to have parents creating COVID clusters with house parties then not cooperating with authorities and why it's New Jersey
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Charlize Theron, Lagertha, Jack Kirby, Batman, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Madalorian's gadgets. All these panels and more at today's ComicCon@Home. The fun starts @ 1pm ET/10am PT
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Staples to require masks starting Monday. No, you can still hook them over your ears
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If you can't trust a "microblading artist, creator, entrepreneur and social media maven" to crack global human trafficking rings operating in plain sight, who can you trust?
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Today was supposed to be the start of the 2020 Olympic Games. COVID has delayed them a year. Good Marketing: Use past Olympics and the passing of the torch to link the games to present day. Fark: The 1936 Olympics
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Subby can't stop laughing at this cartoon animal. Wait. It's not a cartoon. Subby still can't stop laughing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Here's a nifty Musical IQ quiz. Not based on facts or history, but auditory perceptions of pitch, beat and melody. About 15 min, and parts are challenging AF. I scored 114, but not gonna lie - the Melody unit bent me over and did some nasty stuff
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| Thu July 23, 2020 |
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Gohmert introduces resolution to ban Democrats. Not democratic policy, or any democrat in particular. Just all Democrats
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ProPublica's article on climate migration avoids modeling how soon the US will invade Canada
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Scientists find evidence that a non-avian dinosaur shed its feathers in a way similar to that of modern songbirds. Short article links to longer popular article and a peer-reviewed paper. Tag is for creationists running in terror from more evidence
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Sec of State Plumpeo plans to help smooth relations with China by calling for the Chinese people to rise up and destroy the Communist Party. Trade talks appear to be going well
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Harvick draws the pole with Logano along side. Weather is hot with a slight chance of a stray thunderstorm. This is your Super Start Batteries 400 presented by O'Reilly Auto Parts at Kansas Speedway starting at 7:30pm EDT on NBCSN
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| (Coastal Review Online) |
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The North Carolina Department of Environmental Quality to hold GenX Information Meeting on "forever" chemicals. Apparently Boomers uninterested, Millennials already have the answers
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Thursday night MSNBC Discussion thread, starting with The Reid Out at 7 PM Eastern
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Teacher voted for Leopards Eating People's Faces Party... we know how this goes
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"Mother baffled when baby monitor detects movement in an 'empty' crib - only to discover her cat playing inside it." Not sure why this is even an article, but the video of the cat playing in the crib is really cute
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Happy 55th birthday to the great Saul Hudson, the only rock star that can pull off a top hat, shades and shredding. Here's some of his solo work apart from that other band he plays in occasionally
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OK you Farkers, here's your chance to be a part of history. YouTube is accepting content for a new Ridley Scott film, and wants your Life In A Day footage on July 25th. What monumental accomplishments will you submit?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Star Trek: Prodigy officially announced. As Earth links up to the stars, a new crew navigates the galaxy
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Don't want to learn about the coronavirus from Agolf Twitler or the Politics thread. "Science" has collected its news articles, peer-reviewed papers, and other science-oriented resources in one place. Bonus: No farking paywalls to read
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| (Some Guy) |
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This week's 3 hour serving of vintage 80's alt/post-punk/goth/new wave includes music from Killing Joke, Pylon, XTC, and The Lucy Show. Hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #143. Starts 1PM ET LGT streaming options
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Finders keepers apparently does not apply to Roman artifacts from the first century AD
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Kanye goes to Walmart for retail therapy too
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Tea Party rises up against McConnell's relief plan. In other news, the Tea Party is still a thing
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House votes to remove Confederate statues from Capitol. One hundred and thirteen members of the party of Lincoln vote to keep the statues
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| Wed July 22, 2020 |
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Hawaii: Whew, good thing there was no tsunami from that Alaska earthquake. 2020: Suckers, see you this weekend
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Farkers will need to start drinking their Coors Light out of bottles. Just like God intended
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Sit the fark down. MTG Alpha Black Lotus, the 'Pokemon Illustrator' card set a new auction record for rare collectible card game cards
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Big, tough Philadelphia SWAT Officer Richard Paul Nicoletti, who lowered masks of protesters to douse them with pepper spray as they knelt during a police brutality protest will be charged. It's a start
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The Department of Homeland Security has, from its inception, been nothing but a colossal bureaucratic blunder. Now that Trump is actually turning it into his own personal Gestapo, it's time to permanently disband the entire enterprise
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United State's S'tate Department order's Chine'se to clos'e it's Hou'ston cons'ulate in order to protect American's
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Hale male bails off trail to scale Dragon's Tail, to no avail: starts to flail and wail, slips on shale; begins to sail, with sad end to tale
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I think we should talk about this Ben Garrison cartoon, and maybe discuss the best way to stage an intervention
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Woman starts nonprofit with a therapy donkey because the Holy Spirit told her to. Bet you didn't expect to read that sentence today
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Geologists warn of fault running through planned Hollywood development. Not sure who would play Stewart Graff without Charleton Heston, but why not reboot "Earthquake" for 2020?
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If you've ever wanted to quit your crappy, boring job and become the Artist-in-Residence of a famous gothic cemetery, here's your chance
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Like a Vienna sausage in aspic, it's time for the wiggly weeners Wednesday edition of the MSNBC discussion, with prime time starting at 7 PM Eastern
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Ohio requires everyone to wear a mask starting (checks link) tomorrow evening
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Not News: CEO arrested. Still not news: For fraud. Somewhat newsier: Arrested again. Holy Fark: For his part in a $3.7 billion scheme, causing the company to close its doors
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Woman at Panera Bread: "You think that mask is going to protect you? You fart out your a** you can smell it out of your a**"
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Manhattan has become a party pooper for retailers
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Burger Records, which was on its way to re-branding as a new all-women imprint, BRGRGRRRL, will instead shutter due to sexual misconduct allegations leveled against artists and label staff
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Krysten Ritter doesn't seem to want to play Jessica Jones anymore. Hopefully, this frees her up to reboot Don't Trust the biatch in Apartment 23
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Lock the door against the COVID hordes (among other unwanted distractions), sit down, and geek out. The all virtual Comic-Con 2020 starts @ 3:00pm PDT
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The best part of the Solo movie is getting his own show on Disney+. Here's hoping it's a young Han/Lando buddy smuggler series
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Wendy's believes a huge ass and heart disease are no longer adequate rewards for their loyal customers
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Bipartisan support for masks is on the rise thanks to common sense
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Not news: A congressman blasts Trump's response to the Ghislaine Maxwell question yesterday. News: a REPUBLICAN congressman. Fark: Who is NOT in a swing district but the reddest part of TX
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The Squad to start looking more like The Platoon
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Wonder why everyone in the Trumperverse has suddenly started attacking The Lincoln Project? Rick Wilson has a theory about a certain cursed living doll
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The Comey Connection book will release 10 days before Trump is inaugurated and starts the reeducation camps
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Scientists confirm the Earth tends to break into cubes. Gene Ray unavailable for comment
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Presumably to fight off flying saucers, Norfolk has started assembling a fleet of tea cups
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In these coronavirus times, people are so rattled that food of the Seventies starts looking good again: spam, packet trifle, spam, tinned fruit, spam, spam, instant mash, custard powder and spam with extra spam
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Comic-Con@Home, aka Comic-Con: Pandemic on Infinite Earths or just Comic-Con 2020, starts streaming today. The article's author humbly recommends checking out these 22 virtual panels
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The most visually stunning sci-fi movies of the millennium so far. No love for Battlefield Earth
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Meanwhile in Iowa: a two day event attended by "hundreds" featuring "a slip-and-slide, live bands and all-night parties" results in 11 ODs, 3 sexual assaults, and a man waving a gun at cops. Doesn't sound like social distancing was observed
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Dollar Tree and Family Dollar shoppers don't have to get all masked up like they're going to Walmart or something
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Woman had "soulless sex" at her bachelorette party, gets married anyway, tells her husband years later, finds herself newly single. The Aristocrats
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Tsunami warning for 7.4M earthquake in Alaska
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Subby can't find the satire in this onion article. Please help
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| Tue July 21, 2020 |
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Old and busted Freaknik: Cars cruisin all over Atlanta, dancing, partying and drinking. New Freaknik hotness: A series of 10 drive-in theater style concerts
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Earthquakes, birds, snakes, aeroplanes, Lenny Bruce, and Leonard Bernstein... other than that, not much
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Austin Dillon overcame the heat to win at Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth, TX, also known as "Hot, AF." Kyle Busch passed fewer cars than inspections, and Kevin Harvick made his 700th start, so he's been around......and around, and around
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Welcome to the field your Edmonton... eels, earthworms, elephants, emus... Look we'll just figure it out later ok? Go pick on the Chiefs, Blackhawks or Indians for a while
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Department of Homeland Security, founded to fight Cobra Commander, is pepper-spraying Polly Pocket. This might look bad, say officials
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Hello. Welcome to Tuesday Taco Talk, with the MSNBC Discussion thread. Prime time now starts at 7 PM Eastern
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Well that didn't take long. "Trump throws wrench into coronavirus bill negotiations with Senate Republicans". You know, the negotiations with senators from his own party and have they checked to make sure it's a wrench and not just feces?
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Rwanda extracts methane from Lake Kivu for electricity, runs Bartertown
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Why email sucks, and how you can fix it. Step 1: Pay $100 to some start-up company you've never heard of
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The lake from the movie 'Dirty Dancing' is filling back up after being dry for 12 years. We can hoist our dance partners above our heads again - 12 year weight-gain withstanding
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Three words behind NHL restart: loss minimization, inventory. Sorry hockey romantics, "Players aren't playing because they want to. They're playing because they have to"
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There's a reason the photo editor chose the picture of Gov. DeSantis doing "the "remain calm, all is well" pose from Animal House to accompany this article about his recent performance as governor
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After a flat quarter, things are again getting sweeter for Coke
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They say seafood is brainfood, and we are unquestionably getting less smarterer
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Today's pandemic-inspired Star Trek article: That time Captain Janeway got her Ellen Ripley on and hunted giant viruses through Voyager
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"Quarantining and working from home with my partner made me realize why he can't keep a job: he has terrible habits, forgets deadlines, and rambles. He can be coached to be better; how do I facilitate his transformation to a model employee like me?"
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Sozeb, the intergalactic strongman, continues to increase his grapple hold on the human population of planet Earth
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US astronauts squeeze in one last spacewalk before their SpaceX departure, can't explain what they were doing with giant space sharpies or how "NASA RULES ESA DROOLS" appeared on the side of the ISS
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Restaurant loses thousands of dollars and has to cancel a wedding rehearsal party after their busboy tells the manager he has COVID-19. Turns out the busboy lied. He just wanted the day off
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| Mon July 20, 2020 |
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Tonight on RAW, the Golden Role Models celebrate their Extreme Rules "wins". Randy face The Big Show in an unsanctioned match & Now that Seth has vanquished Rey, who will step up to stop him? Do they have a talk show? It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
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Welp, America's Wang, hope all those 4th of July beach parties were worth it
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"Out of nowhere, these big hairy bros started p*ssing on his face, like dogs fighting over a fire hydrant. I'd never seen anything like it.... But I still had a lot to learn about diving and manhood. I was like, Okay, I guess we're doing this"
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Now saying it wanted to "make three years' progress in one," UK retailer Marks & Spencer is cutting 950 jobs. Sorry folks, looks like you were boned from the start
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Kevin McCarthy suddenly is against a minority party blocking debate in Congress
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Pop quiz, hotshot: see if you can figure out what this article's about just from the subheaders: The Germans Can't Keep Up, The Artemis Project, A Dearth of Charging Stations, Countering the Asian Giants, Enter Polestar
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BJ Services to no longer slurp up Earth's oil
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Georgia Democratic Party receives 131 applications to fill ballot spot left by death of John Lewis. Jim Nasium, I P Freely, Anna Conda, unavailable for comment
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Notting Hill apartment for sale. £200k. 79 square feet
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"Walmart partners with Yahoo Mail for online grocery program." Enjoy your spam, ordered or not
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President Trump now demanding a payroll tax cut while the heartless GOP eyes benefit cuts for unemployed in new stimulus relief package, either way out-of-work people are screwed
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Of course Russia's elite have been getting a experimental vaccine since April. They're fine, except they may soon start growing arms out of their vodka-soaked foreheads or throwing themselves out of windows. Let's watch
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Elon Musk's mysterious Neuralink startup is working on a brain-computer interface that will allow wearers to stream music directly to their brain. That's how you get LOBO
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The latest spacefaring nation on the earth is... the United Arab Emirates? 2020: I'll allow it
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Dogs may use the Earth's magnetic field to navigate. Cats just bend it to their will
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The must-watch "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" episodes, all 117 of them. Okay, maybe the article's author was pushing it a bit calling them "must-watch," but it's still a solid list of episodes
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Grandpa WASN'T lying - they did have cars that ran on wood back in the day. Photochopped pics in the article
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Germans build giant sensor to check on wobbly Earth. Looks like we're gonna need a huge coaster
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Australian doctor makes push to rename body parts like the Adam's apple and Achilles' tendon because they are 'irrelevant and misogynistic'
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Can LIJ avenge their humiliation at the hands of EVIL? Will Master Wato survive his 1st encounter with Minoru Suzuki? How badly does TenCozy beat the Young Lions? NEW JAPAN ROAD starts @ 5:30 AM EDT on NJPWWorld.com
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| Sun July 19, 2020 |
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Welcome Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. This week, illustrate for us what your pet would say if they could talk. Use any medium you like - illustration software, pen & paper, etc.
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Will Rey or Seth yell "Ow, my eye", Asuka vs Sasha, Bayley faces "excitable" Nikki, Drew takes Dolph to Claymore Country and Braun tussles with Bray in a Swamp Fight. It's the Horror Show at Extreme Rules starting at 7 PM ET on the WWE Network
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What does Rock, Paper, Scissors have in common with brothels? If you don't know, read the article or ask your mom
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Hope leaves Earth. Live trumps Obvious. This is good news for Mars which receive that Hope next year. Liftoff will take place in Japan and is scheduled for 5:58 PM ET Sunday. Link has English language commentary
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Why are humans so curious? Hmm, I'm not sure. Maybe I should read this Live Science article about why humans are so curious
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Okay, think you're so smart? Let's see if you can pass Trump's cognitive test
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Cartoon Karen discovers Adult Swim. Reacts as how you expect a Karen to react. So does Twitter
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Man hears about the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise, dresses as Darth Vader to collect his lottery jackpot in Jamaica. He plans to build a new Death Star or buy a bus
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Can KyBu make it a Texas hat trick*? It's the rescheduled O'Reilly Auto Parts 500, 3 PM ET on NBCSN
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In which the article writer completely forgets Dick Cheney was a thing
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| Fri July 17, 2020 |
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An article about how we're rich but still dying faster than other rich countries, and this one doesn't even mention COVID-19
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Goodbye LIGO, and gravitational waves from Earth. Hello LISA, and gravitational waves from space
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Good thing the taxpayers are undoubtedly on the hook for this B.S. (one way or another) - tag for the fact that this article is from May 5th
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IndyCorn, part one. Your polesitter is Conor Daly, and it's about 534 degrees with 865% humidity. Start time @8:30 PM ET
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Tonight on Smackdown: Alexa invites a mystery guest to "A Moment of Bliss", Bray takes everyone to the Firefly Fun House, Can the King of Bros beat A.J. for the I.C. title & will The New Day get revenge for last week? It all starts at 8 PM ET on FOX
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Nobody at scooter start-up has picked up a newspaper in the last six months
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It's a facemask, yes. But is it art?
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Trump: Biden wants to defund the police. Journalist: No, he doesn't. Trump: OK, let's get the Biden/Sanders Charter. Journalist: ...well? Difficulty: Fox News
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Mr. Chi Pig, artist, heroin connoisseur, and frontman to the legendary Canadian punk band SNFU dies at 57
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CA students to start the school year online. Trump to declare twit-war in 3-2-1
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| (Q) |
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Writer hunts down the actual street address of James Bond's apartment, just before being shot between the lapels with a silenced Walther PPK
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Only 1 EPL game today, West Ham v. Watford. Oh for fark's sake, that's all we've got? Both teams are only 3 points above the drop zone, so maybe the relegation implications will make this interesting. The Who Can Fail Less Hard Derby starts @ 3pm ET
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Dem officials tell Congress members and party delegates to skip convention, sit back and watch the Republicans kill themselves at theirs
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It turns out that Trump has pumped up his approval rating among Republicans by causing all the sane ones to flee the party since January
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Story to the left about how the earth may save us from ourselves. The quality of inevitable geology puns to the right may tell if we are worthy of it
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So it turns out Georgia's gubberner was fudging the numbers, backdating new cases to the time of first symptoms or test, which shaves the last 2 weeks off the totals. "The massaged trend chart appeared to dictate policy." HARRRRUMPH
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With at least seven players not in Orlando for restart of season due to Covid or undisclosed reasons, Nuggets may be forced to break out 7-foot-2 secret weapon Bol Bol, son of Manute. Like his dad, he can shoot threes and block shots
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Farmers didn't realize voting for the death plague party would mean having a death plague
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Despite government reporting, the data suggests that Covid-19 infections in kids and teens is on the rise. Hopefully, there's no activity in their future which puts them together in close indoor quarters
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