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headlines found matching 'According to Jim'
Fri August 07, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
A "bug" in Instagram's algorithm shielded Trump from negative hashtags without doing the same for Biden
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 05, 2020
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Restaurants hurting, oil fields shutting down, meat packing plants closed by the state, looks like I picked the wrong week to stop selling weed
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 04, 2020
(Electrek)
 
 
 
When you have to go to a website called 12365auto.com for stats to back your article you might as well stamp "Chinese shill" right on the byline
source: electrek.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
If Coronavirus cases aren't under 10,000 per day in September, we're f*cked according to Dr. Fauci
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 03, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
When considering whether or not to reopen schools amid a pandemic, remember that your young children are the most likely to survive, and if they're lucky, they may even have other relatives to take care of them after you die
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 02, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Over 7,000 evacuated from Southern California due to Apple fire. Samsung fire expected to affect millions
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 30, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember the team chaperone from 'A League of Their Own'? MLB does. There's no crying in baseball but there is Coivd-19
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
The cutest little hedgehog you ever did squee
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 29, 2020
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Your next trip to Stop-n-Go is going to be a Kwik Trip unless you want to Kum-n-Go, in which case happy endings are still around back
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(Gainesville Times)
 
 
 
College administrator accidentally tells the truth: "If we go online only, then we'll have to give the money back"
source: gainesvilletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CarBuzz)
 
 
 
The Tesla Cybertruck Will Change Colors With Heat
source: carbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 27, 2020
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Michigan hard cider outfit cancels "Tribute to Trump" at their orchard with Corey Lewandowski & ex-Milwaukee Sheriff Clark after online boycott campaign
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Weeks before Florida schools are forced to reopen, hospitalizations for COVID surge 23% -- among children
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 26, 2020
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Walmart bans couple from all stores for 1 year for following mask mandate
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 22, 2020
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
US to pfay Pfizer $2B to pfroduce vaccine
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 20, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mike Pompeo is up to something shady
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Happy 6th-month anniversary. Six months?
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 18, 2020
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Dogs and cats, living together, mass hilarity
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 17, 2020
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
12 employees at state emergency response center test positive for COVID-19. Dumbass tag already in ICU
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 16, 2020
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida man gets into a fight with his brother during a gender reveal party for his future niece or nephew so when things get violent he punches the pregnant girlfriend instead of his brother. The aristocrat
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The Twitter hack was an inside job
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
No paraquat in my spliff, please
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(The Register)
 
 
 
Chinese mobile giant OPPO claims its new fast-charging spec will fully juice your phone in 20 minutes and read and send all your personal data in just 15
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
COVID-19 is spiking at the Tesla plant in Fremont, California (Where Elon Musk himself toured unmasked in June)
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Aunt Becky sells her mansion for 20 college admission bribes below market value
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
Low bridge bagels
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Yelp is serious about its employer/employee ratings
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
TikTok Hype House's Thomas Petrou says he will migrate if U.S bans app. Subby doesn't know words now
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 10, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Bear attacks man inside his own home after unlocking front door. Still unclear why the man was in the bear's home to begin with
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 09, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
More summer camps are closing after an outbreak of reality
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 08, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
There it is (Tulsa edition)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The 10 types of movies posters to the left, perfectly cromulent farksplaining to the right
source: humansoftumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
If a dozen college students can spin up an accelerator in a few weeks, get nearly 200 applications, and select womxn, Black and Latinx founders to support, then what's everyone else's excuse?
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Looks like Starbucks might need to shut down for another training day
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(Creative Bloq)
 
 
 
Australian Made, a branding initiative to denote products made in Australia, rebrands itself with new logo supposed to represent a wattle but which unfortunately resembles a coronavirus. AU HELL NO
source: creativebloq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ever been to an Indian wedding? They're incredibly fun and massive three-day parties, until the groom dies on day two from Covid-19
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
If someone calls the cops on you because they know you have a body in a barrel, it's probably not the smartest thing if you calmly walk out in your backyard and throw the barrel over your fence. While the cops watch you do it
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Kids don't really carry the virus. Daycare centers: Hold my glitter macaroni art while I lick the Jungle Jim
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
"Are you TRYING to be stupid?" No, it's effortless
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
I have to be at the quarantine in 26 minutes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
And you wanted to be my chicken nugget salesman
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
300 teens possibly exposed to COVID-19 at Texas 'Pongfest' party
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Copper is the new black
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
That's one way to get a job through social media -- Farm work given as punishment for teens after stolen goats traced online
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(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida restaurant closed for 1 day for typical Florida reason and 26 other violations
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Raffle announcer: The winning ticket is 347. Anyone? Anyone? Jokester: Watch this (scrawls 347 on his ticket) Hey I won. Ha ha. Organization: Attempted fraud...you're banned FOR LIFE
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 21, 2020
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Five words to green: bumbling pair of beer thieves
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 16, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Florida, to New York and New Jersey: "Hold my beer"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
In news anyone other than a venture capitalist knew last year, Quibi wildly overestimated how many people want to squint at their phones to watch love triangles with sex dolls or Nicole Richie
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(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
62-year old veteran reported missing lass month from a Massachusetts VA hospital has been found, or what's left of him anyway, because someone at the hospital apparently decided to "get their steps in" and take the stairs instead of the elevator
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Well who hasn't wanted to send a bloody pig mask as eBay feedback?
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
T-Mobile, Verizon and AT&T phone calls are failing across the US. More than usual that is
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 12, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC warns U.S. may reimplement strict coronavirus measures "if cases go up dramatically". Good luck with that
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Please do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to take selfies with the bear. Also, lock down your picnic baskets
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 10, 2020
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago brewery up for sale for $2.5 million--on Craigslist
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 08, 2020
(KPopStarz)
 
 
 
It's official: among the 25 most beautiful women in the world, 11 are South Korean celebrities. Your mom doesn't make the list, though she should
source: kpopstarz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Airbnb is back in business, with bookings up vs last year
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
Video
 
Labrador retrieves
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Metro)
 
 
 
BoJo's approval rating hits Trump levels
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
For the first time in almost three months there were zero point zero deaths from Covid-19 in NYC
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 02, 2020
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man dead after trying to blow up ATM. See, that's why you never go ATM, you burn your lips
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Winning biddr for Grindr has ties to Chinese ownr
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 01, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Looks like drugmaker Gilead's been experimenting with insider trading
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 29, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Wisconsin's Supreme Court threw out the stay-at-home orders two weeks ago. Let's see how things are going now... uh oh
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Spring has Dollar Tree looking quite green
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Halitosis makes a comeback as the virus has impulse buys restrained
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Attention yinzers: For a mere $2.95 million you can buy Ryan Shazier's home
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
You know those "share the trail" signs? Grizzly bears can't read
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 25, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Just in case you think America's got a lock on the market of craziness, here's a drunk guy who jumped the fence at a Polish zoo to wrestle a bear
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Injured turkey gets wheelchair. No word on status of gravy, dressing
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
In a time where Hollywood is full of sell-outs and greed, we have John Kra..... oh wait.. nevermind
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
WFH start-up gets a sweet deel. No word if this really is how wework in a few years
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Got This Covered)
 
 
 
More details on the Batwoman story. Ruby wasn't harassed into quitting. She wasn't afraid of getting injured again. She just didn't like the role and was a pain in the ass to work with
source: wegotthiscovered.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
John Wick was apparently arrested in Denver over the weekend
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Uber tells another 3,000 employees to call an Uber to come in and empty their desks
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Protestors who look like they haven't seen the inside of a gym since 11th grade come out to support opening of gym despite government orders to stay closed
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
U2 wanted for questioning
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 16, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Further muddying the waters, cops asked Arbery murder suspect to keep an eye on house under construction
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(Busted Coverage)
 
 
 
Officer please, you know it's hot out here. I just wanted to go for a drive and air my penis out
source: bustedcoverage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 10, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
You can hate on Guy "Donkey Sauce" Fieri all you want. However, the dude just helped raise $20,000,000 for unemployed restaurant workers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(Winona Daily News)
 
 
 
Teenagers defecate on a car in Plainview, which is probably why they got caught
source: winonadailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Ohio sets up a website where employers can report any runaway serfs who don't show back up to work after "re-opening" because they feel "unsafe"; promises to cut off all their benefits so they won't have any choice
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The end times must be nigh if people are listening to Jerry
source: showsnob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
Your Canadian story of the day: Officers respond to report of an alligator but only found a big brown beaver
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Eminem comes face-to-face with a Stan during home invasion
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump takes time away from his busy workday to have a meeting on extraterrestrials: "People are saying they're seeing UFOs. Do I believe it? Not particularly." After hearing that, subby has never been more sure that UFOs are real
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
One of the lesser known Ni saying Knights rescues dog from cliff ledge
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man buys 28 tons of onions. No word on how many he tied to his belt (which was the style at the time) because he had to take the ferry to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Which industries saw a Coronavirus consumer surge?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(Economist)
 
 
 
From that commie rag, _The Economist_: "The divide between rich and poor is one of the more troubling features of American life"
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
(Not the Onion) PETA plans to erect a billboard in remembrance of fallen poultry: 'In memory of the chickens killed in a nearby fire'
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Police searching for three suspects after shooting in Midvale. Huh, and I thought all the schools were closed
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
68K customers put a pin in their Verizon service
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Bezos has returned from his hidden volcano island lair
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
The Detroit Lions draft is already Breaking Bad
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Golf.com)
 
 
 
Use a swimming arm band to improve your swinging arm, Man
source: golf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
While there are Covidiots crawling the earth demanding the freedom to be infected, Real Patriots volunteered to live in a factory for a month to manufacture plastic for PPE
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I went to Albertson's twice a day," "I went to Sam's. I went to Walmart. I went to Lowe's. I used the gas pumps. I mean I just wasn't careful. God knows where I got it. The bad thing is I might have spread to somebody. I feel bad about that"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(UPI)
 
 
 
I say Levi, we need a bold plan to work out for us
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Remember when farmers replaced American Indians? Land O' Lakes remembers
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Someone leaves newborn baby at apartment complex. Every year for the past three years. All three babies are full siblings. Tag says it all
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
The first comprehensive study is in and it looks like it's a swing and a miss for hydroxychloroquine
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Eight huge new pieces of positive news about the coronavirus that we could all use right about now
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Lawsuit filed against Small Business Administration alleging discrimination against the $8 billion ecdysiast industry which employs 57,000 workers at thousands of locations nationwide (NSFWish)
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Really, just come on," she said. "Have some compassion and common sense in this time of crisis we're in"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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