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Tue March 26, 2019
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
Did your mum's funeral run long by 10 minutes? That'll be £200, please
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I heard it through the grapevine. Fifty smashed cars in a big line. Honey, honey, yeah
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 25, 2019
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
"This time, however, she was not found alive. "
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
Car carrier driver instantly turns brand new sedan into a convertible
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Man steals over $100 million for work that never actually took place from Facebook and Google by sending them random bills. The arms of American justice are long, especially when money is involved
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You are naked in your sauna with only your trusted pitchfork all is well until you start to yell Tiger. Moral is always get a pitchfork before you need a pitchfork
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
When they write "half-naked man," you already know which half, because otherwise he is "shirtless"
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
No you weren't transported back to 1958 in a time machine, that was a vintage TWA Lockheed Constellation airplane traveling through Times Square this weekend
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
As God is his witness, Florida Man forgets pigeons can fly. Also forgets aluminum conducts electricity
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Gun safes recalled for being unsafe with guns. You had one job
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
Woman makes an outfit and matching purse out of used Wegmans shopping bags. Gee, and I just use them for the garbage
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this freshly remodeled bathroom vanity
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sioux City Journal)
 
 
 
Pan on head student
source: siouxcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Mass school sickness blamed on spicy food, sympathy vomiting
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Sorority apologizes for active shooter scare. Apparently surprised that popping balloons and screaming near a memorial for the New Zealand shooting might somehow trigger a massive police response
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Woman complained pizza made her son sick, so cook offered to make another for free, but mom wanted six free sodas instead. Quick, who gets covered with tomato sauce?
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
What's it gonna do, bite my tongue?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Looks like these nine nurses take their jobs very seriously
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Off-duty firefighter saves elderly man from burning home: 'It never crossed my mind not to go in'
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You're a non-smoker. You tell some dude who is smoking that he should stop, cuz he's sitting in a no-smoking area of the train station. He refuses. What do? Why, clobber him in the face with a wooden fence post, of course
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Man gets arrested for car theft. During discussions with the judge, man reveals his favorite drink is Pepsi. Judge sentences man to four years probation and bans him from drinking Pepsi for four years
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The best "one that got away" fishing stories involve monster crocodiles and live video. Bonus: Australia
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Mom successfully sues deadbeat dad for back child support, which, over 50 years totals over $170,000. "I realized in the middle of the night one night last year, 'Hey, there's no statute of limitations on child support.'"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pond Area)
 
 
 
Photoshop this outdoor seating area
source: h2e.lv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Endangered animals, comic book tributes, and Japanese commercialism can all be found in the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 10-16 Tractor Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Thirty thousand bus commuters to feel impact of the 'Seattle Squeeze.' Commuters already dealing with the Detroit Debris, the Albuquerque Confusion, or the Portland Palpitations nod in sympathy
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
It takes a special kind of man to fake being an Instagram celebrity in order to convince an underage girl to take an $800 Uber ride from Texas to Florida in order to have sex, and that kind of man is Florida Man
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Parents of Stoneman Douglas high students are being urged to watch their kids for signs of depression after two survivors of the shooting recently committed suicide. It's almost as if there's a syndrome that survivors of traumatic stress experience
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
What was the difference between "looting" and "finding" things during a flood again?
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Protester escalates it quickly, eats raw pig's head in front of activists outside vegan festival (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Man orders more naked protesters from Amazon. You can do that?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman claims she always has sex on the first date, and says it has one huge benefit (NSFW)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
New Jersey sues California company over 'ghost guns' Good thing I stocked up on ghost flamethrowers
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Argus Leader)
 
 
 
Pop quiz: If a woman at Walmart is hit by a customer riding it's motorized scooter, who does she sue?
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
It was just an argument at a car wash caught on the security camera until I took a bullet to the knee
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Feds suck $112.5 million back from Duke University for research grants with faked data
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Stolen hot air balloon found at hot air balloon festival. Because where else would it be?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Tactical Ding Dongs
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Indonesian authorities have arrested a Russian tourist who was attempting to smuggle a drugged orangutan out of the resort island of Bali. Someone had quite the vacation
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
New 'beer spa' lets customers relax in a tub full of warm beer. Bring your own straw
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Passengers on British Airways flight from London to Dusseldorf somewhat surprised when plane lands in Edinburgh
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Woman fights off persistent NYC butt-slapper with umbrella
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WalletHub)
 
 
 
2019's "Fattest Cities in America" list released. The South may rise again, but it's gonna need heavy lifting equipment first
source: wallethub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In terms of the actual "caliphate" in Syria, ISIS is now WASWAS
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
'Google brain' implants are on the way, soon you won't have to do no more learnin' as you won't have to memorise anything from the schoolin'
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Father of a murdered Sandy Hook student, who had previously sued Alex Jones for defamation, is dead after an apparent suicide
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
When it comes to dating, Millennials put politics over good sex, which could explain why there are so few Millennials being born today
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Move over young pot smoking whippersnappers, more seniors are now seeking pot for age-related aches and to liven up bingo night
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these sea sights
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Army vet down over 25 pounds using a beer-only diet for Lent
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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