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A message from DisseminationMonkey:
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Five years ago, Drew gave us a space for a "Fark Bazaar" thread where we invited our brilliant and creative Fark community to post links to their online stores so we could all score some awesome stuff at each other's businesses. Well, we're doing it again, but this time we're calling it "Farketplace." Beginning on Saturday, November 7th for TotalFarkers and Monday, November 9th for all Farkers, you're all invited to link to your Etsy, eBay, Amazon or other online storefront to sell your goods. It can be pretty much anything legal: handmade décor, jewelry you made, scarves you knitted, hand-sewn footie pajamas, quilts, photography, artwork, hand-blown glass dragons, antiques... whatever fits. 

We've always known Farkers are a creative bunch, and some of the amazing examples seen in the Fartist Friday threads have been a great reminder of that. Just remember that links to your personal sites are only allowed within the Farketplace thread - linking elsewhere will be considered spam and will dealt with accordingly. Please note that Fark is not taking a cut or charging for this in any way.

Everyone's having a tough year, and we figured it would be a good idea to enable Farkers to help each other get that bread before the winter holidays. So stock up your online store and be ready to post photos, descriptions and links to it in the Farketplace.

Obligatory disclaimer: Fark will not be responsible for any transactions or other events to arise out of the Farketplace thread. Your shopping/selling will be considered off-site activities and Fark will not monitor or intervene based on those activities.
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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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We're in the final week of the busiest pre-election news cycle I've ever seen.  It's been fast paced for awhile now - since 2016 it's felt like triple time, and yet somehow this week it's ramped up even higher.  The good news is we're seeing some of the good old weird stuff that is very much pre-2016 Fark. Here's hoping for more in the future.

Thread 11,000,000 snuck up on us out of nowhere and posted overnight - appropriately it was a TFD thread about whether centaurs are sexy or not.  Have a wrong opinion on the subject? Jump into the thread and tell us.

The swear jar feature is still in progress - other stuff has jumped in the way, in particular preparation for the traffic crush we're expecting on election night.  It's still coming, just getting bumped a bit.

In other news from last week, the new ad unit test went well. We'll be running another test lasting about a week, then we'll make a final decision on whether we're keeping it or not. TotalFark and BareFark subscribers won't be able to see it as usual.

Today is the first Fark News Livestream of the week.  Normally we don't wait until Wednesday for the first livestream, but I felt a little feverish Monday morning and decided to quarantine to protect Heather and the kids.  I'm getting tested later today. We'll be back with a new livestream at 5 p.m. either way because either I'll test negative or I'll move the livestream stuff up to the room I'll be living alone in for the next two weeks.  We've got a huge backlog of news to get through.  Also - we may attempt an election night livestream Tuesday as soon as we figure out what format to try.  Let us know if you've got any ideas or suggestions there.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
NewportBarGuy was impressed by Badmoodman's connection to Ireland Baldwin
Pinnacle Point took a guess at the name of the pastor who peed on a fellow airplane passenger
Glitchwerks identified with what a typo in a Fark headline claimed led to a shooting in a Sam's Club
skyotter disagreed with an assertion about Farkers' reactions to a fire chief eating sushi off a naked woman
NikolaiFarkoff summed up Ireland Baldwin's "I voted" sticker pasties
NewportBarGuy saw something familiar about a man who threw a racist tantrum on an airplane
Begoggle commented about the racist Burger King flyer's planned destination
I Ate Shergar noticed a guy's very particular requirements in his dating profile
TWX pointed out an interesting turn of events
theflatline shared an Ambien story

Smart:
Daniel Boone's Farm shared a relatable story about pandemic fatigue
aimtastic felt pretty uptight about sleepwalk peeing
Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste pointed out what an article failed to mention about Sinead O'Connor's SNL appearance
Mr. Coffee Nerves predicted that one American tradition will go on as usual this year, but with a twist
itsaback shared a tanker driver's perspective of the truck driver who drove through a crowd of protesters in Minneapolis back in May
Pinche Mateo gave an example of people "finding" relics from Jesus being nothing new
koder had some ideas of how airlines can get back to international travel
Otera let a kitten tell its story
Chthonic Echoes put a three percent mortality rate in perspective

CSB Sunday Morning: Halloween party stories
Smart: Auntie Cheesus crashed a party, insulted someone, and made a scene
Funny: Recoil Therapy spent Halloween surprising people who came to the door

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Otera is helping a kitten with help from Farkers (with adorable photo)
Funny: OneFretAway admired The Third Man's new toy
Funny: The Third Man gave a warning if Omegle doesn't sound appealing to you
Smart: Madison_Smiled has a really sweet mom
Smart: OneFretAway assessed a situation where a Farker was waiting to be reimbursed for flying out to an interview
Funny: Ass_Master_Flash was alarmed by where this conversation was going
Funny: Ass_Master_Flash recommended a divorce lawyer
Funny: KangTheMad described yet another dangerous thing that kids these days are doing

Politics Funny:
Farking Clown Shoes pointed out the reason some Farkers might not want to celebrate young people showing up to vote
I Ate Shergar continued the line of thinking expressed in Donald Trump's tweet
bloobeary had a theory about what's going on with Mitch McConnell's hands
mrshowrules knew about another odd thing that happens to Fox News analyst Gregg Jarrett
The Googles Do Nothing explained why Trump had to cut his interview with Leslie Stahl short

Politics Smart:
NeoCortex42 questioned the judgement of Trump's inner circle
mrshowrules offered advice from Canada
cretinbob talked about the members of the U.S. Marshals' task force that killed Michael Reinoehl
Pocket Ninja discussed the differences between Trump and George W. Bush
EmmaLou argued for investigating and prosecuting Trump and his team


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound preferred sports over music
hail2daking forked up the hiking trail
#2 brought back a familiar foe
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out this cop is not interested in lollipops
kabloink changed up Trump's makeup
noazark made an artificial intelligence that fits in your pocket
noazark had the hottest ride in Toontown
noazark did some light remodeling
RedZoneTuba designed new uniforms for the tennis team
Mojongo found a pervy cat living in a hotel

Captions:
From Caption this puma cub getting an exam:
Devolving_Spud had the cub recounting the story later
From Caption this dog getting a ride:
Driver knew that the pup had other things on its mind
From Caption this inter-species faceoff:
RedZoneTuba had a warning for the curious cetacean
Grumpy Cat saw that the dolphin was leaving
Grumpy Cat figured that the dog wanted to escape

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell Volume 4
Patmaniac showed us "Desire of Man" and told us how he came to be

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Halloween Limericks and Chill. Write a spooky limerick about Halloween and illustrate it using any medium you like: Photoshop, MS Paint, pen and paper, macaroni glued on a board, etc.   

Farktography: From Above
CiliarySpasm showed us what it's like to look down on people

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another good time on the Quiz this week, although no one knows how to sort out the junk mail issue. On the bright side, that stuff does provide revenue to the Post Office, which could certainly use it. On the Quiz itself, Blackstone gets the top spot and keys to the 1000 club with a score of  1017, followed by rudemix in a distant second with 924 and Enigmamf in third with 919. Data came in fourth with 918, and Sebas finished out the top five with 914.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over this year's Nobel Prize in Economics, and how the winners had contributed to our understanding of supply and demand. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that they had done major studies in the field of auctions and how to create nontraditional auctions for things difficult to sell, such as radio frequencies, maximizing the benefit to taxpayers. If only they could tell me what to do  with all these Beanie Babies.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about what our friendly neighbors to the north were celebrating on October 12th. 80% of quiztakers knew that Canada celebrates their Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October, where I assume they gather in their igloos and share roast moose and poutine before falling asleep on the couch with a hockey game on. Since their Thanksgiving is more of a harvest celebration, it does make more sense to have it at the harvest time rather than weeks later when everyone is snowed in.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about what fast food joint famous for the number of chickens they slaughter actually received an award from PeTA - for best vegan chicken sandwich. Only 57% of quiztakers knew that KFC has been quietly selling a "vegan chicken" sandwich since August 10. made from plant-based Lightlife vegan chicken, As of now, Popeye's has no plans for their own vegan offering, probably because they haven't yet found a recipe that people will kill each other over, which seems to be the basis of their marketing.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new show on Food Network hosted by Tony-award winner Kristin Chenoweth. 93% of quiztakers knew that despite the use of the name in Quentin Tarantino's "Django Unchained," "Candy Land" still had enough goodwill from our childhoods to evoke memories of cutthroat competition among 7-year-olds and no real edible candy at the end for the winner. Let's hope Kristin can keep the contestants pacified with a song or something.

If you missed out the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. 

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.