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Fark NotNewsletter: A Fark status update, plus - is Drew a time traveler?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-05-06 2:57:24 PM, edited 2020-05-06 3:18:36 PM (79 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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1116 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2020 at 12:06 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



In case you missed it this week, one of Drew's tweets from New Year's Eve 2015 went viral last week, and response has been... strange. I can't speak to Drew's experience, but as the person behind Fark's Twitter account, I've seen some replies and messages from people who apparently think the tweet proves that Drew is either a time traveler or psychic, as well as some comments from some intrepid mythbusters out to prove that he is neither. But mostly it's a lot of funny replies. Now that I think of it, though, there is that one picture from the 1800s that Drew's never really been able to explain.

On another note, be sure to check out the FarkStaff Pick this week - Farker Znuh shared first-hand information about what it's like to have COVID-19, along with great advice in case you have to go through it yourself.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your pandemic is going well.  On the Fark business side of things, it still looks pretty rough.  Ad revenues are still half of what they normally are - industry wide, by the way, so support your local newspaper as well if you can. I would predict ad revenues stay low until the economy recovers, and there's no telling how long that will be.  We're in uncharted territory here.

We're still doing a subscriber drive because that's pretty much the only way Fark is going to survive the current business climate, so sign up for TotalFark and/or BareFark and/or Farks2Give if you can - tell others to do so as well.  

Last week, we launched a limited-time pandemic-only OhFark badge with three different levels based off the Johnny Walker whiskey color scheme because that seemed like a good idea at the time.So how's all that been going?  It's hard to even put it into words.  The response has been incredible.  Thank you so much to everyone who's helped out.  We're still not out of the woods but this is a good start.   

Today, we're adding the ability to buy OhFark badges for others, so if there's anyone you feel like gifting one to, fire away.  

By the way, a few folks have asked about upgrading your OhFark badge - we're doing that manually so if that's something you're interested in, contact Farkback and they'll get you sorted.  

On the Fark and Schnitt podcast, this week we interview my friend Peter Sagal from Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Peter tells us about surviving both the Boston Marathon Bombing and the L.A. Riots, as well his likely accurate guess as to when things will return to normal. Plus, the deep connection between Fark and Wait Wait is finally revealed.

Later today as well (5 p.m. Eastern today, but it varies), Dallan and I are continuing our Tuesday-Friday daily news update over at my Twitch channel and Fark's Facebook page.  If you can't catch it live, we've got the previous episodes recorded, so feel free to check them out.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
syrynxx completed a second grade homeschool assignment
DoctorCal envied the toilet paper of the bourgeoisie
derpes_simplex had a special way of reacting to Disney's tweet claiming rights to use replies to them with the #MayThe4th hashtag
dothemath named Anderson Cooper's baby
TabASlotB invaded and trolled a Zoom meeting
vudukungfu saw little reason for Farkers to debate the attractiveness of women sporting "full bush"
Marcus Aurelius realized it was time to shine
markie_farkie ruined a movie by putting "9/11" in the title
Louisiana_Sitar_Club carefully explained why Hong Kong's cramped communal "cage homes" haven't resulted in much higher infection numbers
GardenWeasel figured that maybe derpes_simplex was onto something

Smart:
pkjun analyzed the struggle between rural areas and urban areas
Mr. Coffee Nerves had a solution for people protesting nonessential businesses being closed
syrynxx had to adjust the "weird" scale
enry compared the years 2016 and 2020
hubiestubert explained why you should not use GrubHub
kevinatilusa had a theory about why TSA is finding more guns during screenings even though fewer people are flying
spongeboob apparently has a law concerning doctors speaking to the press
ozman argued that Harrison Ford's latest piloting mishap was not actually his fault
derpes_simplex had a special way of reacting to Disney's tweet claiming rights to use replies to them with the #MayThe4th hashtag
A tweet from Drew made Markoff_Cheney realize something about the year 2016

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Znuh had COVID-19 and was hospitalized and released, and shared the story and advice to help fellow Farkers

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: rcf1105 pointed out the wrongness of an ad that claimed that Jesus didn't exercise
Funny: rosekolodny asked a question of a Farker whose roommate instituted "prison rules" during quarantine
Smart: croesius built an awesome phone stand for Zoom meetings
Smart: TWX shared the best dress from a movie or TV show
Smart: rosekolodny made an observation about homeschooling
Smart: JerseyTim suggested a reliable weather website
Funny: jasonvatch appreciated information about Jesus' exercise routine

Politics Funny:
markie_farkie explained why Donald Trump deleted his angry tweets about journalists who won "Noble Prizes" for reports on Russian interference
edmo had some bad news for Karen Pence when she defended her husband's not wearing a mask at the Mayo Clinic
OdradekRex congratulated Trump on pulling off an impressive feat
Naido explained why the White House wanted a Washington Blade reporter in the front row
Xcott figured out what a far-right activist meant when he had a child hold up a sign that evokes a concentration camp slogan

Politics Smart:
Visual Howlaround Title Sequence had a message for people who regret who they voted for in the last presidential election
comic serif had a suggestion for what to do when people refuse to believe the severity of the pandemic
desertfool looked at why the food supply chain is in danger
Action Replay Nick argued that things can be done to adjust supply chains to address new concerns
Nah'mean excused Trump not talking to anyone who lost someone to COVID-19


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
opalakea proved that some things really do never change
opalakea caught the moment when this fox stole a peek at a daring neckline
Ralph McBob made the kind of test I always manage to fail
noazark showed that strange things are happening at zoos since they've been shut down
hail2daking revealed how far people will go to get their hands on a scarce resource
RedZoneTuba demonstrated how to keep your pets safe from contracting the virus
#2 shared an important message from Simone
#2 woke this browser from sleep mode
west.la.lawyer found a different pet for a cat lover
Yammering_Splat_Vector actually improved the Looney Tunes signoff
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a protective mask to suit someone's unique style

Fartist Friday: Social distancing-themed limericks
This contest was full of awesome, hilarious work, so be sure to check it out. The winning limerick was wiredroach's tale of a man who was literally trapped at home

This week's Fartist Friday theme: Build a blanket fort with items around your home (use of camping supplies not allowed because, duh)

About Fartist Friday:

Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be submitted Thursdays with commenting closed until an hour before they show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know what you think, and feel free to submit your own Fartist Friday ideas.

Farktography:
bobug won Farktography Contest No. 782: "Quarantine Cookbook" with the Flying Fusilli Monster

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Fark Weird News Quiz, although it was significantly delayed. The 1000 Club's Virtual Zoom Meeting remains empty this week. Bear151556 came out on top with 890, followed by Denjiro in second with 860 and ruudbob in third with 822. englaja made fourth with 789, and caddisfly took fifth with 771.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over a 19-year-old man in Riverside, CA who decided to rob a bank. After the teller declined to give him anything and hit the alarm, he decided to relax in the lobby while awaiting police. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that he decided it would be the perfect time to enjoy an adult beverage, as it would likely be the last one he'd be enjoying for a while. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over a 93-year-old woman and her viral plea for beer while self-isolating. 65% of quiztakers knew that someone at MillerCoors saw the pic of her holding a can of Coors Light, and decided the free advertising she had just given them was well worth 10 15-pack cases of her favorite beverage. I have no doubt this news likely also attracted a number of male suitors eager to meet her.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over the latest industry buzzword "A13 Bionic." Only 43% of quiztakers knew that this was the name of the new processor chip in side the upcoming iPhone SW. No word on its running speed or arm strength, but I'm sure one of the first apps will make it go "Zschzschzschzschzsch" when you use the zoom function on the camera.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the late music producer Sam Clayton Jr, who died last month from COVID-19. 92% of quiztakers knew he was one of the athletes of the Jamaican bobsled team from the 1988 Olympics who inspired the movie "Cool Runnings." In addition to doing sound engineering for Jamaican reggae bands at the Harry J Studio where Bob Marley recorded, he also worked with several bands while he lived in France. 

Congratulations to the winners, and the new quiz should be up soon.
· · ·

79 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-05-06 3:11:03 PM  
This NNL was actually posted yesterday morning, but it time traveled to today. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
2020-05-06 3:11:15 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:13:15 PM  
Do I need to bring my own weapons?

/he's obviously done this once before
 
2020-05-06 3:14:24 PM  

xanadian: Do I need to bring my own weapons?

/he's obviously done this once before


You should. Safety isn't guaranteed.
 
2020-05-06 3:14:33 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [Fark user image 500x250] [View Full Size image _x_]


You're doing a great job keeping the staff kitchen clean. Everybody said you should have a big hand.
 
2020-05-06 3:14:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:16:05 PM  

brantgoose: Non Sequitur Man: [Fark user image 500x250] [View Full Size image _x_]

You're doing a great job keeping the staff kitchen clean. Everybody said you should have a big hand.


Thanks! I thought it'd be fun to present it from two different angles.
 
2020-05-06 3:16:39 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:17:18 PM  
I bet the Trump 2020 campaign would advertise here. Do it, Drew. The response would be hilarious. Let video ads appear and the politics tab, and set them to autoplay.
 
2020-05-06 3:19:30 PM  

Frank N Stein: I bet the Trump 2020 campaign would advertise here. Do it, Drew. The response would be hilarious. Let video ads appear and the politics tab, and set them to autoplay.


Whoa there, Satan.
 
2020-05-06 3:19:55 PM  
If anyone needs to gift anything feel free to gift me. Next pay I'm going to try to contribute.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2020-05-06 3:21:50 PM  
is there a way to opt out of letting someone buy you a badge
 
2020-05-06 3:22:28 PM  

sluflyer: Frank N Stein: I bet the Trump 2020 campaign would advertise here. Do it, Drew. The response would be hilarious. Let video ads appear and the politics tab, and set them to autoplay.

Whoa there, Satan.


I'm more chaotic neutral
 
2020-05-06 3:23:01 PM  

Frank N Stein: I bet the Trump 2020 campaign would advertise here. Do it, Drew. The response would be hilarious. Let video ads appear and the politics tab, and set them to autoplay.


Trump never pays his bills, so I don't think that would help.
 
2020-05-06 3:23:24 PM  
HA!
 
2020-05-06 3:25:12 PM  

jasonvatch: Frank N Stein: I bet the Trump 2020 campaign would advertise here. Do it, Drew. The response would be hilarious. Let video ads appear and the politics tab, and set them to autoplay.

Trump never pays his bills, so I don't think that would help.


lol
 
2020-05-06 3:26:36 PM  
Answer: Yes.
 
2020-05-06 3:28:05 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:28:38 PM  

MBK: is there a way to opt out of letting someone buy you a badge


Perhaps a "We don't need no stinking badges." option on your profile.
 
2020-05-06 3:28:41 PM  
crap.
I spoke the plain truth and made the newsletter for it.
 
2020-05-06 3:30:37 PM  

hubiestubert: [Fark user image 600x592]


*spittake*
 
2020-05-06 3:31:23 PM  

MBK: is there a way to opt out of letting someone buy you a badge


too late. I'm buying you three now.
 
2020-05-06 3:31:37 PM  

Frank N Stein: I bet the Trump 2020 campaign would advertise here. Do it, Drew. The response would be hilarious. Let video ads appear and the politics tab, and set them to autoplay.


media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:37:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:43:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:45:17 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: [Fark user image 275x183]


Hi Ms. Mapes!
 
2020-05-06 3:45:17 PM  
Someone more talented than me should make a bunch of WWII propaganda style posters for Drew to raise money.
 
2020-05-06 3:45:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 3:49:51 PM  

MBK: is there a way to opt out of letting someone buy you a badge


Try submitting a spam link.
 
2020-05-06 3:51:44 PM  
You'll get over it.
 
2020-05-06 3:53:31 PM  

Keyser_Soze_Death: You'll get over it.


Lighten up, Francis.
 
2020-05-06 3:55:17 PM  
Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever
 
2020-05-06 4:07:24 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: Bathia_Mapes: [Fark user image 275x183]

Hi Ms. Mapes!


Hiya!
 
2020-05-06 4:11:46 PM  

Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever


I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.
 
2020-05-06 4:17:53 PM  

rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.


How's about a repost for us poor barefarkers?
 
2020-05-06 4:23:33 PM  
Last week, we launched a limited-time pandemic-only OhFark badge with three different levels

I would proudly buy one, but until the pandemic is over, I got no spare funds.

I suggest the pandemic-only time limit be extended until the next pandemic.


Today, we're adding the ability to buy OhFark badges for others

Please tell me they're poop badges...
 
2020-05-06 4:24:42 PM  

rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.


Go ahead, brag.
 
2020-05-06 4:27:42 PM  

rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.


Nice. I heard he also tried Pontius Pilates but that didn't work out so well.
 
2020-05-06 4:30:45 PM  

Spectrum: rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.

How's about a repost for us poor barefarkers?


It's actually against the rules to share TF-only content outside of TF.
 
2020-05-06 4:34:50 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Spectrum: rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.

How's about a repost for us poor barefarkers?

It's actually against the rules to share TF-only content outside of TF.


Username does NOT check out...
 
2020-05-06 4:35:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 4:38:37 PM  

Spectrum: rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.

How's about a repost for us poor barefarkers?


Somebody beat me to it.
 
2020-05-06 4:51:13 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: It's actually against the rules to share TF-only content outside of TF.


I upvoted that thread at the time hoping it would go green.
 
2020-05-06 4:54:51 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Spectrum: rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.

How's about a repost for us poor barefarkers?

It's actually against the rules to share TF-only content outside of TF.


That's fine. I can bookmark the content and click it when things turn around.
 
2020-05-06 4:57:27 PM  

Lurky McLurkerton: Spectrum: rcf1105: Chris Ween: Anyway, rcf1105 had the best comment ever

I don't want to brag but my comment was so great that a comment about how great it was also made the newsletter.

How's about a repost for us poor barefarkers?

Somebody beat me to it.


Thank you and thank somebody!
 
2020-05-06 5:39:43 PM  
Glad to help out, Drew. I'm recently unemployed due to Covid, but am lucky enough to have received an exit package. The badge money shouldn't kill me. (Hit me up if you need, or know someone who needs, a top-flight SQL Server DBA.)
 
2020-05-06 6:16:33 PM  

hubiestubert: [Fark user image 600x592]


sacrilege

/reported
 
2020-05-06 6:20:59 PM  

GratefullyAlive: hubiestubert: [Fark user image 600x592]

sacrilege

/reported


Hey, Jenn stole his haircut.
 
2020-05-06 6:25:15 PM  
But Jen IS my personal erotica image.

media1.popsugar-assets.comView Full Size
 
2020-05-06 6:30:15 PM  

GratefullyAlive: But Jen IS my personal erotica image.

[media1.popsugar-assets.com image 760x1024]


That can't be Jennifer.

Where are the pokies?
 
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