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Fark NotNewsletter: Oh no, we're changing the site again!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-03-05 11:50:16 AM, edited 2019-03-05 12:12:21 PM (220 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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4017 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2019 at 8:33 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



It's time to panic - there will be some updates on our mobile site later today, be sure to check them out. If you notice any problems or you have other feedback, please don't submit a thread about it, but instead help us out by contacting Farkback and select "Technical errors/difficulties/questions/bugs" in the dropdown. If your Fark browsing is interrupted by the Momo Challenge, be sure to contact the local news for an interview, and ask them to post multiple photos of you with your children looking sad and frightened. If you don't have children, borrow some. This is important. 


2019 Fark Fiction Anthology Information (brought to you by toraque)

The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology is now open for submissions!

We're looking for short, original fiction from the Fark community, up to 10K words in length, in any of the following genres: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Humor, Horror, or Suspense/mystery/thriller.

Our fearless panel of editors is fired up and ready to pick the best entries of 2019, which will be published on Amazon in trade paperback and Kindle e-book editions.  All proceeds will again benefit a Fark-favorite charity, so you can help out a good cause just by reading!

This is open to everyone, if you're a long-time Farker, a TotalFarker, a lurker, or even if you just got lost on the internet looking for funny cat videos!  We accept submissions from authors with all levels of publishing history or experience, so even if you've never submitted anything you've written before, feel free to send it in! We also accept poetry and flash fiction, as long as they fit into the genres listed above.

So are you ready for the glory of publication along with the best and brightest writers on Fark? Submit your 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology entries here!  


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
pueblonative reacted to the claim that New York tourists like to visit night court
Abe Vigoda's Ghost shared an old photo of Grandma
squidloe described what Disneyland's new Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge area will be like
iron de havilland had first-hand experience with the threatening "Momo Challenge"
jaytkay also saw Momo while watching "Peppa Pig"
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated what a woman found her husband doing in a video
FortyHams explained why you should never give bad reviews of a movie just because it stars a woman
Farking Clown Shoes defended Dave Bautista's acting skills
Diogenes didn't know how police managed to capture a man accused of stalking
Dr.Fey saw evidence that a woman was innocent of attacking her mother

Smart:
Biscuit Tin explained the difference between nursing homes and assisted living
ecmoRandomNumbers learned an important lesson about pit bulls
sirrerun thought that the blame for a pit bull attack belonged to the owner
Murflette explained why attorneys can't just go around insulting prosecutors
Calypsocookie thought a description of school sounds unfortunately familiar
parasol gave better advice for dealing with an ex's odd behavior than "Dear Prudence" did
basemetal had a theory on why a lottery winner hasn't claimed the winnings yet
revrendjim didn't account for women peeing or cats being jerks
Demetrius thought of what would've gotten Robert Kraft the harshest punishment from the NFL
whither_apophis had a message for a BYU police lieutenant and BYU's Honor Code Office

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Ceteris Paribus says actually knew something about 5-acre lakes made out of mercury
Funny: Mudgen shared a story about buying a pack of gum
Funny: CommieTaoist was helpful when someone was looking for the kind of spaghetti that Mom used to make
Smart: EatenTheSun is fine with "feeling old"
Smart: Mrs.Sharpier explained why a discovery of Fark comments history won't hurt any political ambitions

Politics Funny:
impaler showed President Rope Dope's reaction to testimony about his character
Spectrum saw a sign that something's gone wrong
Oysterman has had enough
Weird Hal expressed feelings about what Jacob Wohl was going through
NateAsbestos explained what a threatening tweet from Matt Gaetz to Michael Cohen means for Trump

Politics Smart:
wademh reacted to Donald Trump's plan to write an executive order granting First Amendment rights
parasol won't be attending Trump's party
stan unusual thought some CPAC art of Trump seemed familiar
naughtyrev pointed out why Sean Hannity might be called in to testify
Xai summed up Trump's feelings about meeting with Kim Jong Un while Michael Cohen testified


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed off the new aquatic Airbus
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel found Airbus' cousin
RedZoneTuba proved that you don't even need a ladder to get over the border fence
RedZoneTuba showed women taking a selfie at the Kent State shootings
RedZoneTuba created a nightmare
Circusdog320 captured the miracle of rainbow formation
RedZoneTuba made a potted han
Yammering_Splat_Vector had a new take on The Birth of Venus
Quick and Dirty danced with a hirsute nun
Yammering_Splat_Vector designed the prettiest parking meter

Farktography:
beerrun won Farktography Contest No. 721: "Stoned 2" with a beautiful photo of eroded sandstone in Antelope Canyon

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.


Upcoming Fark Parties

See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 

Friday, March 15: Fort Collins, CO Fark Party


Fark Weird News Quiz Results (brought to you by ox45tallboy)      

We had another fun time on the quiz this week, and showed that we perhaps know more about Nutella than we probably should. Unfortunately, no one hit the 1000 club this week. It's getting kind of lonely in there and the cushions need airing out, so perhaps the next quiz will be a bit easier. On the quiz itself, ThunderChild takes the top spot with 930, followed by Gordon Bennettin second with 923 and wxboy in third with 917. Oliver Twisted made fourth with 915, and There I Was slides into the top five with 908.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over a shutdown in the world's largest Nutella factory. Only 28% of quiztakers knew that 600,000 jars per day, roughly one-quarter of the world's supply, comes from a single factory in Normandy in northern France. Other European facilities are in Poland, Turkey, Germany, and Italy, but none in any of the countries usually associated with high-quality chocolate. Probably because those countries have laws against diluting cocoa with something as ho-hum as hazelnuts.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over what monument the people of Taneytown, MD were considering in a bid to attract more tourists. 77% of quiztakers knew that someone had the brilliant idea of a large monument to John Wilkes Booth, The question is, do you really want to attract the kind of tourists that want to see a statue of the guy who killed Lincoln? I hear they're bad tippers and don't separate their recycling. And they tend to wear white even after Labor Day.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over Fat Tuesday. Only 43% of quiztakers knew that this observance marks the *end* of Carnival, the celebrations and excessive consumption of all the stuff people won't be consuming during Lent. Ash Wednesday, the day after Fat Tuesday, marks the beginning of the 40 days of Lent. Most of those who do not observe Carnival or Lent in the traditional Christian manner might better know Fat Tuesday by its French name - Mardi Gras.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over what '80s/'90s band complained that KISS was "stealing" their stage sets from their own farewell tour in 2015. 85% of quiztakers knew that it was Tommy Lee and Nikki Six of Mötley Crüe who felt that they were the first to think of putting their bass player on a crane. News Flash, guys, what do you think David Gillmour was standing on when he did "Comfortably Numb" from on top of the Wall in the 1980 concerts? Then again, Gilmour was a guitarist, not a bass player, so way to innovate, Nikki Six.

If you missed the quiz, you can catch up on it here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

220 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2019-03-05 11:52:34 AM  
Your first Doctor is the Best Doctor.
 
2019-03-05 11:53:39 AM  
I'm over it.
 
2019-03-05 11:54:52 AM  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 11:54:54 AM  
I'm not going to get over it.
 
2019-03-05 11:55:02 AM  
My prediction: five years from now, some farker will type "this site used to be accessible and functional five years ago before they changed everything."
 
2019-03-05 11:55:48 AM  
I'm still not over the famous one. I do remember some adjustments that were good though. Remember the first effort that hurt everyone's eyes? I feel like that was about 2007 but I'm old now and I probable don't remember it correctly.
 
2019-03-05 11:57:30 AM  
I panicked earlier.  But thanks for helping me maintain my daily allowance of panic.
 
TWX
2019-03-05 11:58:09 AM  
Just the mobile site?

Haven't used that in years. If the changes involved moving the entire code base to /dev/null I wouldn't notice.
 
2019-03-05 11:59:17 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


I'm gonna shiate me knickers.
 
2019-03-05 11:59:41 AM  
I haven't even read the newsletter and I'm already over it.
 
2019-03-05 12:01:20 PM  
BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!
 
2019-03-05 12:01:49 PM  

Weatherkiss: I'm not going to get over it.


Not gonna sit on the fence about it?
 
2019-03-05 12:02:43 PM  
tldr; wake me when somebody goes to jail.
 
2019-03-05 12:02:52 PM  

Mister Buttons: BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!


Turns out the biggest secret of the internet is that nude pics can be found if you have the right key search words....like nude pics.
 
2019-03-05 12:02:58 PM  
Yay! Mobile Fark update finally!

Please tell me this includes multi-quote ability, and Bold, Italic, and Strike-through actually function properly without taking over the whole post, or having to select the text you want it applied to after typing it all out to have it applied.
 
2019-03-05 12:03:23 PM  

Mister Buttons: BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!


Oh, and that.
 
2019-03-05 12:04:01 PM  

Chris Ween: Mister Buttons: BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!

Turns out the biggest secret of the internet is that nude pics can be found if you have the right key search words....like nude pics.


Why do you hate Drew having money?
 
2019-03-05 12:05:24 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:05:58 PM  
It's not official until Jeff shows up to tell people they'll get over it
 
2019-03-05 12:06:03 PM  
And...

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:06:26 PM  

Chris Ween: Mister Buttons: BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!

Turns out the biggest secret of the internet is that nude pics can be found if you have the right key search words....like nude pics.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:08:21 PM  

JohnBigBootay: I'm still not over the famous one. I do remember some adjustments that were good though. Remember the first effort that hurt everyone's eyes? I feel like that was about 2007 but I'm old now and I probable don't remember it correctly.


The one that I remember the most is the one with the weird formatting with the resolution where most of the website was empty space on the sides and the main page was condensed in the middle.
 
2019-03-05 12:09:46 PM  
Ive got an idea how you can get a bit more cash flow Drew. Now that everybody has had a sip from the barefark well, you can replace the yellow bar that asks us to turn off our adblockers with a small live stream view of Fox News. I think that would motivate a few more wallets to open
 
2019-03-05 12:10:10 PM  
Seeing as how I am strictly a mobile farker, I will be curious to these changes.
I like what envirovore said about the italics and bold features for mobile. Or being able to quote more than one person in a reply.
 
2019-03-05 12:11:30 PM  
Doesn't bother me. I don't fark and walk at the same time.
 
2019-03-05 12:13:02 PM  
Am I missing a joke, ot something? There's no link to 2019 FF competition.
2018? Yes...But not 2019
 
2019-03-05 12:14:27 PM  
Thank Christ.  Trying to selectively quote anything I'm replying to on mobile is such a clusterfark I don't even bother including the comment anymore.
 
2019-03-05 12:15:06 PM  

mcreel: Am I missing a joke, ot something? There's no link to 2019 FF competition.
2018? Yes...But not 2019


You must be hallucinating. It goes to 2019. No, I didn't change it. Shut up. No, you shut up.
 
2019-03-05 12:16:14 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size



img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:17:32 PM  

Qatmandu: [img.fark.net image 175x144]


[img.fark.net image 500x281]


Harrison Ford really does look like a grumpy old man, doesn't he?
 
2019-03-05 12:18:47 PM  

Mister Buttons: BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!


If you want Back Foobies, stop exercising entirely and switch to a diet of Marshmallow Fluff and suet.

Glad I could be of assistance.
 
2019-03-05 12:21:50 PM  

GoldSpider: Thank Christ.  Trying to selectively quote anything I'm replying to on mobile is such a clusterfark I don't even bother including the comment anymore.


this

/would of selectively chosen the text if i had a half hour
 
2019-03-05 12:23:33 PM  
I don't use mobile very often.  And the reason is that it's too limited.  It doesn't do things the same way that the non-mobile does.

Oddly enough, there are a few things that do work better there, that I wish were on the non-mobile.

Thus concludes my completely unhelpful post for the day.
 
2019-03-05 12:24:26 PM  
Well, this is the last straw.  My jowls doth quiver with outrage.

I'm officially rage quitting several days ago until I get around to renewing my TF subscription whenever I get around to it.
 
2019-03-05 12:24:32 PM  

gingerjet: GoldSpider: Thank Christ.  Trying to selectively quote anything I'm replying to on mobile is such a clusterfark I don't even bother including the comment anymore.

this

/would of selectively chosen the text if i had a half hour


img.fark.net
 
2019-03-05 12:25:29 PM  
Fark NotNewsletter: Oh no, we're changing the site again!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:25:35 PM  
Fark is getting a new logo. Squirrel is out, fish are in. And it's fabulous.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:26:03 PM  
bring back the video tab.
 
2019-03-05 12:26:10 PM  
Well that's a relief. I was expecting to have to install a coin slot on my phone, where I would insert a quarter per article i clicked on.
 
2019-03-05 12:26:29 PM  
*Crosses Fingers*

Drew's bringing back FarkTV!
 
2019-03-05 12:26:36 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


All I have to offer is a kitten.
 
2019-03-05 12:28:04 PM  

ThomasPaineTrain: *Crosses Fingers*

Drew's bringing back FarkTV!


FarkTV would have been a a huge success if Drew had just listened and used a laugh track.
 
2019-03-05 12:28:24 PM  
Are they going to fix the shiatty mobile text editor? Specifically, how spaces after bold/italic text are removed after submitting, and how editing text randomly moves letters/whole words to new and interesting locations?
 
2019-03-05 12:28:42 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size



Maybe it's just me but the load new headline link doesn't work anymore. It did but doesn't anymore.
Nothing has changed on my end.

No biggie, just thought you might like to know.
 
2019-03-05 12:29:22 PM  

JohnBigBootay: I'm still not over the famous one.


I've been a liter since.
 
2019-03-05 12:30:48 PM  
Just as long as my TP roll isn't installed wrong, I'm good.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-05 12:31:41 PM  
I demand a Momo tag.
 
2019-03-05 12:32:48 PM  

Krieghund: JohnBigBootay: I'm still not over the famous one.

I've been a liter since.


Not anymore.
 
2019-03-05 12:33:52 PM  

abhorrent1: [img.fark.net image 545x162]


Maybe it's just me but the load new headline link doesn't work anymore. It did but doesn't anymore.
Nothing has changed on my end.

No biggie, just thought you might like to know.


Please contact Farkback and let them know.
 
TWX
2019-03-05 12:33:59 PM  

Mister Buttons: BRING BACK FOOBIES!!!


What if I told you that links to nude ladies used to be on the main, only page, before foobies was ever registered?

I remember one particular instance when wil commented about what he'd like to do to a particular attractive lady in TF, thinking that it would never go-green. He owned it though, he was willing to reiterate that his offer still stood.

/get off my lawn
 
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