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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-23 to Sat 2018-12-29
Posted by Blythe at 2019-02-19 1:33:15 PM (4 comments) | Permalink

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729 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2019 at 1:50 PM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back to Headline of the Week!  We had a great time with Headline of the Year 2018 and we're slowly working our way through the new Headlines of the Week to get caught up with this new year!

Thanks as always to our amazing submitters and to our TotalFark voters.  These are the headlines we love to share and say "*this* is Fark."

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-23 to Sat 2018-12-29:  "You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good"  Fond du Lac found duo in lake  They've found that one bulb  Chinese company is spending $1.74 billion on a communist theme park. Presumably Mickey Mao will be named mascot  O little town of Providence / Thou Puritans of renown / Without a qualm for single moms / Thy strip club hath shut down / Yet in thy dark streets shineth / A tiny spark of joy / The owners hear the strippers' tears / And bought their kids some toys  ♫ Last Christmas, they stented my heart / And the very next day, demanded I pay... / This year, an ex-profiteer / Has made sure the debt is settled... ♫  Everyone loves a white Christmas, right? (fires up snow blower, slips on icy driveway, curses fluently in three languages, one of them Klingon) Yeah, we just LOVE a farkin' white Christmas  Kentucky man with a bad temper throws Christmas ham at woman, still not cured  Shiats fired  Alexa, does my Tesla use premium or diesel?

Sports:  Flip off your team for playing terrible against the 49ers in San Fran? That's an arrest. And a choking. And a toss over the railing. And a tazing  Servpro First Responder Bowl canceled. Like it never even happened  UFC fighter attacked by grenade, gets less damage than he did in his most recent fight  Karma karma karma karma karma concussion  Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia recovering following heart surgery to fix a blockage. Although there is a term for a 38-year old, 300-pound New Yorker with heart issues: Mets fan  Our top guys suck, they're soft on pucks. *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* Deep in the heart of Texas. Jim Lites he rants, on head his pants. * CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* Deep in the heart of Texas

Geek:  Scientists create a 'metamagnetism' compound, which is a fancy way to say 'cool magnet'. Ytterbium, is there something it cannot do?  After getting to the root of the problem, the world has a new largest-known prime number  Internet freaks out over updated Instagram design. They'll get over it

Entertainment:  Even though they may not have all dressed chips, malt vinegar, or running water, citizens of the United States can watch all 6 seasons of Letterkenny on Hulu on Dec. 27th. Figure it out  Kennedy Center honors Phillip Glass. Kennedy Center honors Phillip Glass. Kennedy Center honors Phillip Glass. Kennedy Center honors Phillip Glass. Kennedy Center honors Phillip Glass  R-E-S-P-E-C-T / Forgot 1040 EZ / R-E-S-P-E-C-T / Byline, TMZ  Forest Whitaker files for divorce after 22 years of marriage. No reason has been given yet, but it's rumored he may have a wandering eye  Nirvana claims Marc Jacobs owes them a pretty penny in royalties

Politics:  Donald fires Mattis for resigning  ♫ Jingle bells, markets fell, Mnuchin laid an egg... Wall Street whores shiat their drawers and the POTUS Tweets awaaayyy... ♫  Top U.S. general details President Trump's Middle East withdrawal plans and strategy. In short: ¯\_★(ツ)★_/¯  Mnarket mness mneans Mnuchin mnight be mnext  Oh dear, even the bone spurs were a lie  Santorum says that pulling out at the wrong time can make a mess of things  Trump threatens to close borders. Yet again, Trump painfully shows the nation his lack of knowledge on the issue as Borders closed many years ago

Business:  It's beginning to look a lot like this is the last Christmas for Sears  Apparently there actually is something called the Plunge Protection Team, and it's not a product of the collective imaginations of Yahoo Finance posters  China imports zero U.S. soybeans in November for first time since trade war started. Good thing these things are easy to win  The Nikkei Nakatomi'd  Shrodinger's economy

Discussion:  20 years later: Yes, you can finally have no bananas  Mueller has a nude selfie, POTUS and FLOTUS on 2018 most admired list, Cohen went to Prague, C level honeypot's tricks revealed, and Jesus Farking Christ this year has been a hell of a Century. 8PM ET MSNBC Thread, Post-Coital Edition  Instead of setting New Year's resolutions you won't follow, how about setting some "un-resolutions" you also won't follow? Author name almost checks out  What I learned by not drinking for two years. #10 - People are a lot less interesting than I used to think

D'awww:  The unofficial Patronus of Fark, Eddie the Otter, passed away this week. He was "known for slam dunking and self-pleasuring". Truly, he led his best life. Godspeed, Eddie  Put down the knife, Eh. I'll be forced to give you a warm hug if you don't. Beware, I am flannel belt  A nice Merry Christmas for Dad, now he can get an iphone. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Food:  There is no doubt about what a redneck does when he finds a 30 year old can of Coors in the river. The only question is does it taste better than the water it came out of  Hey, the world needs coconut pickers  Boy spots bear hidden in Toblerone logo, shocking internet users, mum who couldn't believe her child actually looked at the chocolate packaging instead of just ripping it up
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4 Comments     (+0 »)
2019-02-19 02:29:10 PM  
R.I.P. Headlines of the Week: 2006 - 2018

Posting HOTW sporadically  two months after the fact? No one cares any longer.

Yes FARK, how far you've fallen.....
2019-02-19 02:38:28 PM  
Second time this has happened ...
2019-02-19 03:14:09 PM  
Thanks! I'm already disoriented by this sinus infection.  You really confused me with this.
2019-02-19 03:44:13 PM  
One of these is mine.

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