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Fark NotNewsletter: Holy Farkballs, guess who's 20 Farking years old
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-02-12 12:17:02 PM (443 comments) | Permalink
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2393 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2019 at 8:21 PM (22 weeks ago) | | share: more»
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A message from Drew Curtis:
20 years ago, sometime around this date, I manually coded the first html page that marked the beginning of Fark. I posted two links on it. You can still see them in the Farkives. The second one was "Man fatally mauled by pet cow," which marked what I thought was the beginning of making Kentucky become famous for being the weirdest state in the U.S. At that time, I didn't know about Florida.
Fark parties started up sometime around mid-2000; the earliest ones were to keep me occupied while I was on business travel - I had a side-hustle writing medical databases.
Friends were made, Fark grew larger, more friends were made. A few thousand of you got married, most of those folks had kids. We all grew up together. I was 26 when Fark started. Last week I turned 46. I've got a beautiful wife, three kids (15, 12, and 9), a house in Kentucky. I've tried some things that have worked and some that haven't, but I don't regret the attempts regardless of the outcome. In some ways I've grown up a lot, even though I've found that what I thought was a "real adult" doesn't fit for me, and I'm pretty fine with that actually.
I've met tens of thousands of you. Even for folks who don't read Fark as much lately, so many of you are still in touch with each other that whenever I get a friend request on social media, I can tell what five-year range you started reading based on who our mutual friends are. I'm grateful for all these connections, even though I've been backing away from social media lately. I don't like how needy the engagement algorithms are becoming - a feeling I don't get when reading Fark, incidentally. A lot of the rest of social media is engineered to consume your world, Fark isn't. We're here to be funny and sometimes smart, and nowadays by complete accident Fark is one of the last places on the internet where you might find subject matter you didn't know you'd be interested in.
Thank you for spending your time on Fark. It's been amazing to know you all. Here's to hopefully another 20 years together. I'm not planning on going anywhere.
Ten years ago, I wrote up a brief history of Fark, or tried to. I had so much material I only got as far as the end of 2000. This year I'm happy to announce that I've been writing a History of Fark and there's so much material, it's turning into a book. It's well over 40,000 words now, which would be a smallish paperback novel by itself - and I'm only up to the year 2009 so far.
As I'm writing this book, I'm struck by how much the entire ecosystem of the Internet has changed, over and over and over again as it turns out. I'm also discovering that you can see all kinds of hints and foreshadowing for how things turned out 20 years later. Thanks to Fark, I had some cool and close connections along the way to a lot of what happened. And a lot of it's weird. How weird? I'm reminded of something that the writers of Silicon Valley said, some of whom are my friends, that even though all of the show's subplots are based on real events, some of the actual events were so ludicrous that test audiences considered them to be implausibly bad fiction. I've seen more than my fair share of those as well. I'm working toward a summer release.
And on that note, yes here comes the sign up for TotalFark pitch - which, by the way, if you sign up for TotalFark, you will not see sign up for TotalFark messages anymore - because one of the perks of having TotalFark is not having to be asked to sign up for TotalFark! Anyhow, as an added bonus, anyone who signs up for a $50 TotalFark account today will get a copy of the Fark 20 book! As will anyone who renews around this time who drops me a line asking me for one - I don't want to penalize longtime subscribers. Same goes if you end up waiting a few days, but seriously just head on over and sign up. Fark wouldn't be here today without our subscribers, and more on specifically why and how next week because I've taken enough of your time already.
There will be 20th anniversary Fark parties! I've got a couple in the works for San Francisco and New York City sponsored by local radio stations in both cities. New York in particular might line up well at the end of July when I am doing a bike ride from Manhattan to Buffalo to raise money for the Roswell Cancer Institute because there's still no cure for cancer, but it's closer than it ever has been. There's definitely one coming in Boston in early July as well. Let me know if you'd like to host one in your area, I'll make it if I can!
Thanks again for reading. It's been a great ride so far, let's keep going.
We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That had a GIF for the real Bo Burnham getting an award
IgG4 revealed a former Miss Ukraine's secret
Pocket Ninja lectured us on how incredibly dangerous it is for a child to walk four miles
Theaetetus was outraged by what astronauts do with their poop
Cyberluddite backed up another Farker's opinion
grokca pointed out that people have unrealistic expectations of marriage
doglover showed how the children of anti-vaxxers are getting vaccinated
Chemlight Battery described being unable to get into a prominent university
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That answered the question Farkers keep asking
turboke wasn't sure about the idea of living in a yurt city
Ambivalence weighed in on Liam Neeson's admission
feckingmorons had an idea for getting anti-vaxxers vaccinated
Brosephus was worried about getting shot by cops
Random Anonymous Blackmail explained what one would think would be obvious
jake_lex thought that Verizon had some particularly ridiculous commercials
OgreMagi suggested one way of combating police being unnecessarily violent
TheManofPA summed up the Super Bowl
wejash had some thoughts about people admitting to racism in their past
Dawnrazor had a solution for parents being upset about which school their kids are supposed to attend
stoli n coke was impressed by the sellers of tiny houses
CSB Sunday Morning: Mother Nature's shenanigans
Smart: noazark was narrowly missed by disaster
Funny: ingo shared anecdotes about the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake
CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman.
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers
Funny: merrillvillain had a short answer for a stripper name comprised of "your Taco Bell order plus your biggest regret"
Funny: olapbill recreated a seductive pose
Smart: Groupon boob job showed a talent for woodworking
Funny: KangTheMad explained who Cardi B is
Funny: merrillvillain found something comparable to the Super Bowl
optikeye figured that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has practice with a certain method of making her point
doyner thought the grapefruit had been passed
AntiM was inspired by one of Donald Trump's tweets
MattytheMouse had a decent point from Q
DissonantEscapist explained Trump's purported 50% approval rating
Uranus Megahertz found a reason why a teacher should've expected sass from another Farker
arrogantbastich had an idea of why Jacob Wohl thinks "liberal women have a certain 'look'"
Chariset summed up an article from someone who had left the Republican Party
holdmybones believed that Trump was accidentally right about something
AdmirableSnackbar argued that Ocasio-Cortez has this one weird trick for keeping opponents off balance
arrogantbastich had some thoughts about Trump and the House Intelligence Committee
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
Circusdog320 made some peppers and sausage
Yammering_Splat_Vector Munched on a bell pepper
Yammering_Splat_Vector helped Vladimir Putin slip into something more comfortable
Stephen_Falken brought back the coolest guys ever posted on Fark
RedZoneTuba proved that even water won't slow this dancer down
RedZoneTuba showed us who made this trail in the snow
Alligator gave a surprise smooch
crispy pizza taught us how to draw
Don_cos dropped in on Hank and Peggy Hill
Yammering_Splat_Vector took a slow ride through the ice
FuLinHyu won Farktography Contest No. 718: "For F's Sake" with a foggy road
Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
Upcoming Fark Parties
See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats
Tuesday, February 26: Las Vegas Fark and 50th Birthday Party (please note the date has changed)
Friday, March 15: Fort Collins, CO Fark Party
Fark Weird News Quiz Results (brought to you by ox45tallboy)
We had a fun time on the quiz again last week, although many people were out doing outside things now that the weather is above "holy fark it's cold". On the quiz itself, Hooferatheart barely missed the 1000 club with a 999. So, I'll leave the curtain open and you can watch our private screening of 2001: A Space Oddysey in 8K from outside the window. Denjiro made second with 943, followed by coldcuts in third with 927. wearsmanyhats managed fourth with a very respectable 922, and M-G finishes out the top five with 921.
The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which ticker symbol became available on the Canadian Stock Exchange in Toronto. Only 32% of quiztakers were up on Canadian legal marijuana investments and knew that Potash Corp. of Saskatchewan merged with Agrium, Inc. to form Nutrien Ltd, which I assume makes poutine or something. That freed up the symbol POT, which the Canadians decided to hold a very polite lottery for, under the condition the winner apologizes to the losers. In case you're wondering, a tiny Vancouver company called Weekend Unlimited was the winner, causing its stock to rise by 150%. Now imagine if they added the word "blockchain" to their name.
The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about what kind of critters invaded Point Reyes National Seashore in northern California during the government shutdown. 91% of quiztakers knew that a rookery of elephant seals (yes, a rookery, I looked it up) thought it was a nice beach, so they rushed the gate and broke down a fence like it was Woodstock or something, but left the humans feeling more like it was the Fyre Festival since officials determined the beach had to remain closed. I'm guessing they sghut it down because those seals really know how to throw a party, and we humans just couldn't handle their kind of debauchery.
The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over what chicken joint you can go to in the South to get a Cheeto Chicken Sandwich. Only 56% of quiztakers knew that it was KFC who has partnered up with Frito Lay to somehow make fried chicken even more unhealthy (albeit somewhat more tasty, especially if you're under the influence of something or other). The sandwiches feature not just Cheetos, but a special "Cheeto Sauce" made by Frito Lay, I'm assuming from Cheeto dust and memories of a lost childhood.
The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about where you can find the world-famous Lombard Street, which many people argue is the twistiest road in the world, 91% of quiztakers knew that local officials in San Francisco were considering charging tourists $5-10 for the privilege of driving it, and making it by appointment only in order to reduce congestion for the local people that actually need to drive it to get to work and stuff. I mean, it's not like it could possibly be fun, I think it's mainly just something you can say you did. I can't imagine having to drive it to get to work every day, and it can only get worse with a bunch of tourists around.
If you missed out on last week's quiz, you can catch up on it here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
Fark Headlines of the Week (brought to you by blythe)
Welcome back to Headline of the Week! We had a great time with Headline of the Year 2018 and we're slowly working our way through December and January Headlines of the Week to get caught up with this new year!
Thanks as always to our amazing submitters and to our TotalFark voters. These are the headlines we love to share and say "*this* is Fark."
Here are a few of our favorites from cold December, check out all the Headlines of the Week here!
"Zombie cyclone" terrorizes Australia, bringing with it half a metre of raiiiiiiiiins
You can't spell "Cowboys" without 00
One grill, 2,700 cups
Oh, the places you'll go...Be your name Horton or Grinch or Yertel, or Audrey (missus Dr. Seuss) Geisel...You're off to Great Places, today is your day...Your husband is waiting. So...You're on your way
Democrats are excited, VERY excited, as Trump's odds of impeachment surge. Look at those odds surging. Those turgid, throbbing odds, thrusting and surging; surging and ramming, the engorged surging YES OH GOD YES THEY SURGE SO GOOD
WaPo: "Bitcoin Cash's 180% Bounce Looks Like a Dead Cat". Pfft, what do they know? DeadCatCoin will be the next big thing. That'll show 'em
There I was, thinking about cooking dinner. My cats were eager for their food out of a can, and it struck me: I never cook for my cats. Am I strange? Should I whip them up a nice tuna salad, or just go with Fancy Feast because they won't complain?
Hold me closer, Tiny Riverdancer
If it's one thing that humans are really good at, it's making booze from whatever ingredients happen to be lying around
Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a TotalFarker. You can join TotalFark here.
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