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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-09 to Sat 2018-12-15
Posted by Blythe at 2019-02-05 11:50:55 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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662 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2019 at 12:15 PM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back to Headline of the Week!  We had a great time with Headline of the Year 2018 and we're just starting to work through December and January Headlines of the Week to get caught up with this new year!

Thanks as always to our amazing submitters and to our TotalFark voters.  These are the headlines we love to share and say "*this* is Fark."

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-09 to Sat 2018-12-15:  ♫ No one fights like Gascón, takes guns on flights like Gascón, retaliates against those that he spites like Gascón ♫  Man fires 15 shots at roommates after drunkenly knocking over Christmas tree. Maids-a-milking, ladies dancing ran screaming before he was tackled by lords and drummers, Feathers everywhere  Runaway plane never coming back. Wrong way on a one-way track  Zomato driver sacked after eating customer's takeaway. Turns out you can't do anything at Zomato  Time Magazine's Person of the Year cuts right to the bone  "Inside the mind of a plagiarist" (easiest headline I ever submitted)  ♫♪♫ And another witch down, and another witch down, and another witch down, another witch bites the dust...♪♫♪  This does deserve a news flash. Heap is now legal in the US  Due to rare eating disorder, 42-year-old woman... uh... does anyone have a British to American translator handy? That seems serious  Police shot the cherif  This is the halting of the aid ship Aquarius, aid ship Aquarius

Sports:  Football player dumps pregnant cheerleader girlfriend. God I'm going to hell for this headline  The NFL Draft will be in Las Vegas in 2020, so the teams will be able to gamble at will... and then go to a casino  Man named Zebulon attacks firefighter after Browns game. May his punishment be watching all future Browns games with Hue Jackson  Sarver: I (I), I (I), I (I), Ain't Gonna Change the Suns' City

Geek:  "The star flutist was paid $64,451 less than the oboe player. So she sued." Wonder what the bass salary is  Obesity rates are at an all-time wide  Two dead at Antarctic research station. Be on the lookout for a dog being chased by a Norwegian  Time travel is possible, but only if you have infinite mass. Well, I've been off my diet for a while now  ♫ Microsoft knows what apps you're using, they know where you've been. They gather all your data because the default opts you in ♫

Entertainment:  Never dictate the headline over the phone  NYC kosher cops force Brooklyn eateries to cancel bookings of lesbian Jewish comic under threat of yanking certification. The Aristocrats  No, James Bond has a drinking solution  Nancy Wilson dead at 81. Barracuda

Politics:  European Court of Justice rules in favor of second Brexit. No word on elevenses  When Republicans weren't looking, Dems flipped forty House seats. They took 40 seats. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible  Major Garrett gets promoted at CBS News. Will now be known as Lieutenant Colonel Garrett  A step-by-step breakdown of how Pelosi and Schumer tricked Trump into walking into a rake several times in front of cameras  Trump has been walking a tightrope of lies. This Wallenda badly  He did not slap them in the mouth. He did not slap them north, nor south. He did not kick them in the balls. He did not throw them from his Halls. He rejected all their pleas, and slammed those whose job's to "speak for the trees"  Zinke moves from Interior to exterior

Business:  His name was Ghosn, he headed Nissan. With a Brazil apartment as his lair, and misconduct down to there. He did a tap dance, he saw his big chance. But Nissan thought it odd, since he's indicted for tax fraud. At the Copa, Copacabana  Sting uses fake Amazon boxes, GPS to catch would-be thieves. The Police are standing by  Staff of libertarian Weekly Standard feel the invisible hand of the free market

Discussion:  Yawl shud be asahmed four shamming that farker hoo mispeled himp erliar  As Infrastructure Week comes to a close, join us for the MSNBC FRESH HELL FRIDAY thread. Fun starts at 8pm EST, BYOB, IYKWISAITYDNTTAWWT

D'awww:  All of the other reindeer used to want to call him names, but Farkers got there first  Truck driver 2 horsepower short of making it up icy driveway  Needles to say, spotting a rare albino porcupine waddling through a snowy forest is an une-quilled delight

Food:  From the land who invented deep fried Mars bars - a deep fried Christmas dinner. Stoater  A hot dog is a taco, a steak is a salad and a Pop-Tart is a calzone. Let the Cube Rule explain  Los Angeles restaurant offers edible $500 gold-covered brownie. Au no
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2019-02-05 12:24:35 PM  
Just in time to get me into the Christmas spirit! I can hardly wait to take next week off from work.
2019-02-05 06:02:00 PM  
Seems like the Vintage tag would be appropriate here.
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