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Fark NotNewsletter: Get to the farking point already
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-01-15 12:14:42 PM (32 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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1191 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2019 at 8:27 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



You ever need to know how to do something, so you watch a YouTube video to find out how, but the person in the video keeps talking and talking and you're like, "Get to how to do it already!" because you just want to know how and not have to hear a bunch of rambling before you finally find out how to do the thing so you can go do it already? This intro is a little like that, except you won't have learned a thing when you're done reading it.

XOXO,
DisseminationMonkey


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Smashed Hat did not appreciate a change to a beloved science fiction series
Psychopusher wouldn't accept an excuse for a Proud Boy murdering his brother with a sword
bearded clamorer thought that an alleged arsonist looked familiar
pkjun thought there was a different reason that a deaf man was denied service by a Taco Bell employee
MattytheMouse wanted a famous psychic involved somehow
Ghastly knew why a man attacked his dad with pizza when he found out his dad assisted with his birth
Mike_LowELL wanted someone else's opinion about a mommy blogger
MythDragon discussed things that make it difficult to be a good driver
HighlanderRPI suggested a punishment for teens who got into a fight at McDonald's
Prank Call of Cthulhu thought up a plan for dealing with crises

Smart:
Esroc shared a story about helping a customer make a purchase
TWX had a tip for TV show writers
theropod expressed an opinion about a popular personality test
Catlenfell advised towns to be careful when making deals with corporations
wooden_badger made a comment that was really confusing for a second
I Like Bread had a theory about helicopter parents
doglover's login checked out
HedlessChickn figured that a town didn't learn their lesson (HedlessChickn's next comment got more "smart" votes than this one, but it's a followup and would've been confusing to put out of order)
joaquin closet could see a reason for a psychiatric facility to want to keep a patient in their care

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: meg12279 had some encouragement for someone who drinks too much
Smart: Brawndo explained how to properly dispose of an old toilet
Funny: Smock Pot shared an opinion about the person who gets all the advantages in the office because they're dating the boss
Funny: rcf1105 warned of the dangers of taking your child to an ax throwing establishment
Funny: rickythepenguin discussed the music scene in Prague
Funny: rcf1105 explained why you should sit at a table even when a booth is available

Politics Funny:
Shostie showed some of the vehicles that migrants are driving
snocone found someone to judge weather or not a freshman Rep. could bring beer onto the House floor
Marcus Aurelius defended Steve Scalise against attacks from Alexandria Ocasio Cortez
Markoff_Cheney had a takeaway from Donald Trump's description of migrant vehicles
impaler shared Snekretary's reason why the need for a border wall is a "crisis"

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
nmrsnr showed us some concerned parents

Politics Smart:
BizarreMan explained why the government shutdown isn't Democrats' fault
edmo had a plan to keep the Senate from adjourning when there's urgent work to be done
null argued that Trump winning the election was "the better option"
Carter Pewterschmidt discussed the goals of the people working on Trump's campaign
itsdan wanted to go ahead and veer left


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Don_cos found that the S.S. Minnow looks even worse than before
hail2daking proved that some people are always cool
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave Pee-wee some curves
Yammering_Splat_Vector designed some awesome shoes
Yammering_Splat_Vector made the rain fall
Yammering_Splat_Vector made Jimmy Fallon funny
Circusdog320 found a g-g-g-ghost ship!
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel ack ack ack ack ack ack
Yammering_Splat_Vector brought enough cigarettes for everyone
RedZoneTuba wiped the smile of this kitty's face

Farktography:
BecauseISaidSo won Farktography Contest No. 714: "Pylons and Poles" with rainbows hopping over power lines

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.


Upcoming Fark Parties

See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 

Wednesday, February 27: Las Vegas Fark and 50th Birthday Party
TBD - Fort Collins, CO Fark Party


Fark Weird News Quiz Results (brought to you by ox45tallboy)      

It seems not many Farkers have the opportunity to talk to cows in their neck of the woods. But it is an interesting experience nonetheless and I'd encourage it if you get the chance. On the quiz itself, looks like a lot of folks were paying attention to Florida man's antics this week. budjones came out on top with 1035, and he'll be sharing the big screen in the 1000 club for the playoffs this week with jayfurr, who made second with 1018. SansNeural made third with 964, MontanaTristar made fourth with 957, barely edging out Artpence's 956 to round out the top 5.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over those wacky Brits and their "Blue Peacock" weapon in the Cold War. Only 37% caught the article on the odd weapon. The idea was a nuclear land mine to be buried in Easter Europe, where it could be detonated behind enemy lines if the Soviets advanced westward. The problem was that it got really cold - so cold that they couldn't get the detonator to work. So someone had the grand idea of putting some live chickens inside, as their body heat would keep the detonator warm enough to operate. Add in enough food for eight days or so for the chickens, and you could be sure it stayed warm enough to work. I wonder what would happen to the eggs, though.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about  where you could find the 105-story unfinished Ryugyong Hotel. 83% of quiztakers knew that it towered over the city of Pyongyang, North Korea, a testament to the opulence of the 80's as operated under a quasi-communist dictatorship. It now serves as a giant video screen for propaganda videos about the might of North Korea, and I can't help but wonder if anyone involved in this project sees the irony there.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about ducks, specifically the ridiculously rare pochard, which was thought to be extinct. Only 46% knew the species was reintroduced to its native Madagascar last week, in a remote lake with almost no predators around, where it will hopefully flourish. Maybe the movie shouldn't have focused so much on the penguins - but then again, they were considered extinct in 2005.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which state requires pet stores to sell rescue animals rather than breeder pets. 90% of quiztakers knew it was those hippy granola-eating soy-latte-drinking surfers in California that knew the best pets are always the mixed-breeds. Private sales from breeders are still allowed, but pet stores there will now have only rescue doggies, kitties, and bunnies. 

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all over again this week. If you missed out on the quiz last week, you can catch up here.
· · ·

32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-01-15 12:26:08 PM  
I think the rambling is because YouTube videos need to be a minimum time length in order to collect ad revenue. I usually watch videos at 1.5x or 2.0x because a presenter talks very slowly -- probably for the same reason.
 
2019-01-15 12:26:46 PM  
You ever need to know how to do something, so you watch a YouTube video to find out how, but the person in the video keeps talking and talking and you're like, "Get to how to do it already!" because you just want to know how and not have to hear a bunch of rambling before you finally find out how to do the thing so you can go do it already? This intro is a little like that, except you won't have learned a thing when you're done reading it.

The difference is I can speed read that in under 5 seconds, and not wade through 5+ minutes of filler for a 6-minute video (overly long introduction, asshat yaps about boring crap no one cares about for several minutes, followed a plug for their merch and the obligatory sponsor fellatio).
 
2019-01-15 12:27:16 PM  
Yeah. I wasnt looking for the history of the ukulele, Shimabukuru. Just wanted the strumming action on "Wash Away"
 
2019-01-15 12:27:29 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 12:28:22 PM  
Oh, and "don't forget to like, subscribe and click the notification button!".

No, f*ck you, pay me.
 
2019-01-15 12:32:47 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 12:34:14 PM  

dugitman: Yeah. I wasnt looking for the history of the ukulele, Shimabukuru. Just wanted the strumming action on "Wash Away"


I took the family to his show the last time he came to town. His monologues added at least 15 minutes to the show, so it's not just a YouTube thing with him.

/still a nice way to spend an evening
 
2019-01-15 12:52:25 PM  
This is what happens when you skip the intro:

You may miss critical information and end up on fark.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 12:53:51 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 12:56:53 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 448x299]


I'm using my favorite again  :)

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 01:03:06 PM  
Yeah, I follow a couple of nomad RV lifestyle types and they are all like that...blather, blather, info, blather.

It does help a couple of them are cute young women, though.
 
2019-01-15 01:12:08 PM  
Isn't there usually something from the CSB? Did I miss it? Did it never exist and I just imagined it?
 
2019-01-15 01:13:47 PM  

ihateallofyou: Isn't there usually something from the CSB? Did I miss it? Did it never exist and I just imagined it?


There wasn't a CSB thread that weekend. Y'all need to submit them.
 
2019-01-15 01:15:56 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: ihateallofyou: Isn't there usually something from the CSB? Did I miss it? Did it never exist and I just imagined it?

There wasn't a CSB thread that weekend. Y'all need to submit them.


Ah. That makes sense.

You see that, everyone? Make with the CSBs.
 
2019-01-15 01:29:19 PM  
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel ack ack ack ack ack ack

You oughta know by now
Who needs a house out in Hackensack?
Is that all you get for your money?
 
2019-01-15 01:32:14 PM  

ihateallofyou: DisseminationMonkey: ihateallofyou: Isn't there usually something from the CSB? Did I miss it? Did it never exist and I just imagined it?

There wasn't a CSB thread that weekend. Y'all need to submit them.

Ah. That makes sense.

You see that, everyone? Make with the CSBs.


i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 04:03:00 PM  
i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 04:40:53 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 04:58:01 PM  

2wolves: Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel ack ack ack ack ack ack

You oughta know by now
Who needs a house out in Hackensack?
Is that all you get for your money?


If that's Farking up
Then IIIIIIII'm Farking out!
 
2019-01-15 05:50:24 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 07:15:16 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 07:59:39 PM  
Woooo I am so funny, f u n e
 
2019-01-15 08:40:32 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 08:41:53 PM  

cowgirl toffee: [img.fark.net image 200x200]


You are a Fark treasure
 
2019-01-15 08:44:16 PM  

Chris Ween: cowgirl toffee: [img.fark.net image 200x200]

You are a Fark treasure


EEEEEE!  :D

Thank you.  *kisses*
 
2019-01-15 09:04:24 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 09:06:18 PM  

LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 800x534]


Anthills?
 
2019-01-15 09:32:28 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: LordOfThePings: [img.fark.net image 800x534]

Anthills?


See line 1.
 
2019-01-15 10:50:56 PM  

aungen: Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 448x299]

I'm using my favorite again  :)

[img.fark.net image 256x286]


I'm honored. :)

/something something giffed horse
 
2019-01-16 12:01:42 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-16 01:42:56 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-16 02:44:14 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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