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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-11-04 to Sat 2018-11-10
Posted by Blythe at 2018-12-10 2:28:47 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2018 at 2:28 PM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-11-04 to Sat 2018-11-10:  How can you avoid disinformation prior to the election? Stay the hell off every form of social media. Thirty six hours of Fark for everybody  One dead, one missing from "Cold Water Swim Group" that went for a dip in Lake Michigan during storm. Nude Skydiving Club and Bear Wrestling Team plan to send flowers  Had it been actual Tupperware, his fate would have been sealed  Man dies in third shark attack in Australian harbor. You'd think he'd have gotten out of the water after the first two  Police officers corral escaped pig by feeding it snacks, which is no doubt considered professional courtesy  Egg truck catches fire on Florida turnpike. First responders scrambled  King of porn detained for assault and abuse of employees. In related news, pornography is a constitutional monarchy  Four was one of three in George, grabbing forty-four, wasting pumpkins near Casey's. One was tazed, it was Four. Seriously  "Man Shot, Killed in Target." Well, he was for a second there, yeah  Gordon Ramsay involved in road rage incident that wounded a child. On the scene is Wichita Chief of Police Gordon Ramsay SORRY I NEED TO READ AHEAD NEXT TIME  / Now I sit / broken hearted / came to poop / had my congestive heart failure monitored /  Tree

Sports:  Alabama made Ed Orgeron speak in tongues if the closed captioning of his press conference was any indicator  Joel Quenneville's mustache to be shaved of its responsibilities  Troy Aikman says Cowboys organization needs "a complete overhaul." Maybe the Vikings would be interested in a Pro-Bowl running back in exchange for a bunch of draft picks?  Mariners hire pitching analysis guru Paul Davis as their new pitching coach. When asked to provide example of his approach to analytics, Davis said he sometimes wonders why all the flowers have to die  Kevin Harvick stripped of locked-in Cup finale spot because he gave away the ending of a movie or something  Mets promote Tim Tebow to AAA, calling it a 'great next step' towards the big leagues. Or if that doesn't happen he could always hope to at least be called up to play for the Mets

Geek:  Llamas may be the kkey to preventing the fflu  Calgary man invents tent  What's your name? Who's your Daddy? Is he sick like me? Has he taken, any pills, to slow his body's ills. It's the time... of the season... for coughing  "Sadness circuit" found in human brain, given scientific name Adellebellum

Entertainment:  I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want: Four-fifths of the Spice Girls on a reunion tour  Iceberg, alright alright alright ahead  A moment of silence for Bernard Bragg, legendary mime, who will now spend eternity trapped in a box

Politics:  Either the Washington Examiner twitter account was hacked, or someone's 🎵 going down in a blaze of glory 🎵  Despite being shut down, Ivanka Trump's brand has recently received Chinese trademarks for things like handbags, shoes, voting machines, wedding dresses. Wait.... go back one  Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone  Comey: "Well there's subliminal, liminal, and superliminal messages." Lisa: "What's superliminal?" Comey: *opens window* "HEY YOU, GO VOTE," Otto: *shrugs* "Okay"  Kris Kobach victim of voter accuracy  Nelson calls for recount in Senate election, despite Scott declaring victory. To be fair, Scott can probably see the vote totals better, having been raised in a cave by bats  Dobby could run for his old Alabama Senate seat after getting sock from his owner  Breaking: Ruth Bader Ginsburg's rib cage  We need a new Dungeon Master

Business:  7-Eleven to launch scan-and-go as opposed to their current model, go  Teens are abandoning Victoria's Secret. Probably because the internet has made their catalog completely irrelevant  Bombardier cuts 5,000 jobs worldwide. Pilot and Navigator feared to be next  Oil prices drop on trifecta of trouble, which may cause glut, still, oil sellers want to store oil rather than sell, which produces a situation, a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche will you do the contango?

Discussion:  Whatta you mean I missed my funeral? I could have used the time off  Melville scholars do NOT get together periodically to work out standards related to Melville scholarship. This is hardly surprising because most can't afford to fly and if they leave their refrigerator box homes, someone else is bound to move in

D'awww:  Do not taunt the ghost monkey  H4xx0r p1gz fr33d  How do you go on vacation in Cusco? Well, first you alpaca the taxi  Little girl has to pretend to open screen door for her dog because he's so afraid of running into it. Good girl and boy

Food:  "I just got a new fridge. How should I organize it?" Next up: I just got a couch; how do I sit on it?  What beer should I drink while singing 'Fairytale of New York'? A 'dry stout' you say?  Russia wants to bring back a Soviet era chicken variety, starts to develop 'super' chickens. No word yet on whether they'll talk with an American southern drawl and/or litigate cases
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