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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-10-28 to Sat 2018-11-03
Posted by Blythe at 2018-12-10 2:22:21 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2018 at 2:22 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-10-28 to Sat 2018-11-03:  Suspicious package addressed to CNN discovered in Atlanta. Officials reportedly became concerned once they saw it contained a copy of "How to Win at Jeopardy" by Wolf Blitzer  Help, I am being held prisoner in a Chinese Styrofoam tombstone factory  The trouble with hosting a "Purge" Halloween party at your nightclub is there's always that someone who takes the theme a little too seriously  World vertebrate population has dropped 60% since 1970, says WWF. Blames human pollution, choke-slams, piledrivers  Whitey Bulger completes life sentence  Lacking a dead whale, Wyoming blows up a moose  Parts of Lion Air jet found on Java seafloor, prepares stack trace  $847.63  Atinlay eachertay argedchay ithway avinghay exualsay elationshipray ithway udentstay  Toilet stolen from West Virginia home. Police have nothing to go on  Once again, we ask that you please remember to remove your donated clothing before placing it in the charity bin. Thank-you  It's not just Indiana. People are texting over kids at bus stops left and right. Running. I meant running  "Tennessee executes inmate by electric chair for second time in 60 years." Wow, that dude must have been one tough, old bastard  Make America Wake Up an Hour Later Again. Trump's admin is pushing this crazy idea starting tonight. Vote him out

Sports:  26 miles? That's way too far  Seattle Seahawks endzone celebration includes a hit batsman, a charge at the mound, and a clothesline from the pitcher  "4th down from inside our 3 yard line? Hold my Fosters, I got this mate." - Seattle's punter  "Are Boston fans sick and tired of winning?" No  "Ball-tampering bans should be lifted," says head  Florida Man arrested for New England dildoing in Buffalo. Obviously he was not familiar with the New York penile codes  You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't tug the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you don't steal a puck that Braden Holtby is trying to give to the little kid standing next to you

Geek:  The Albanian Air Force is clearing out their remaining stock of 88 vintage MiG fighter jets. By Shqiptar's Hammer, what a savings  Professor Kneebone connects screen time to students' loss of dexterity, the loss of dexterity connected to the surgery errors, the surgery errors connected to the patients dying, the patients dying connected to the malpractice suits  The most detailed observations of material orbiting close to a black hole. You submitted this with a less Romulan headline  The International Space Station now has a supercomputer, which interrupts friendly game of chess to report a fault with the AE-35 antenna unit and is recommending that astronauts do a little EVA to check it out  Plans for world's largest ocean sanctuary in Antarctic blocked. Penguins got all dressed up for nothing

Entertainment:  Today's News: Satanic Temple claims Netflix's "Sabrina" illegally copied Baphomet statue, threatens legal action. Tomorrow's News: Catholic Church sues Nine Inch Nails  One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, shut the door. Five, Six, read this ranking of Nightmare on Elm Street movies from worst to best. Seven, Eight, it's really hard to rhyme stuff like this, isn't it?  High-brow, pretentious composer announces tour with full orchestra, to play his classics  Jessica Simpson shows off the Twins for Halloween

Politics:  Trump calls Gillum a thief, demands he return the precious  Fox News informs us the migrant caravan is getting faster y León está haciendo más grande  The FBI doesn't need to investigate Jacob Wohl. Chrissy Teigen already murdered him  Язрцыісаиs иззd а sчsтзматіс роllіиg зггог то шіи тнз Ноцsз

Business:  Big Blue about to pay up for Big Red  News: Dow up 352. Correction: correction  It's 2005. Your sales are falling, and your stock price is collapsing, but you have $6B in cash. Do you: 1) Invest in improving your company; or 2) Buy your own stock to prop up the price? Hint: You're Sears  Bezos utilizing a cold lump of coal to select new Amazon HQ2 location  Swiss researchers are playing Led Zeppelin to cheese. Whole Lotta Holes and Traveling Riverside Bleus on constant loop

Discussion:  According to one study, there have been thirteen cases of lycanthropy since 1850. According to common sense, there have been thirteen fewer cases than that  The highest percentage of trick-or-treaters are Utes. Fred Gwynne unimpressed

D'awww:  9,998,383,750,000  I'm pretty sure the hound is supposed to retrieve the duck, not the other way around

Food:  Because if they popped, they'd be corn dogs?  Rabbits convert feed to meat more efficiently than cattle, and make for better burgers. Almost sent this to the d'awww tab by mistake
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