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Darwin Award Quarterfinals, the Dude explains, Tab shortage, and rock, paper, car. These are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-10-14 to Sat 2018-10-20
Posted by Blythe at 2018-10-30 3:26:09 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

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1261 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2018 at 3:26 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thanks to all our submitters and thanks to our TotalFark voters!

We love Headline of the Week because we get to highlight the best of the creative, side-ways thinking, insightful, and damn funny headlines we enjoy every day. The kinds of headlines you can read to the person standing next to you in the early voting line - just stay away from the political ones, that could get you in trouble! - and say *this* is Fark.

Check out the NotNewsletter for a few of our favorites, and you're in the right place for all your Headlines of the Week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-10-14 to Sat 2018-10-20:  What has 10 stomachs, 32 brains and 18 testicles? Conjoined duotrigintuplets? Nope. A bucket of Nopes  Analysis of ancient rocks finds earliest ever animal fossil is a 660-million-year-old sponge that reportedly lived in a 660-million-year-old pineapple under the sea  For sale: voter registration records for thirty five million Americans. Includes full name, phone numbers, physical addresses, voting history, and affiliation. For amusement purposes only. $42,200  Coffee rust threatens Latin American crop. 150 years ago, it wiped out an empire, presumably due to fatigue and caffeine withdrawal  ♪ It's Prayagraj not Allahabad, it's Prayagraj not Allalahabad, why did Allalahbad get the screws? That's nobody's business but the Hindus ♪  This is just like Romeo and Juliet, if it had been Romeo who faked his own death rather than Juliet, and he'd done it as an insurance scam rather than for love...and never mentioned it to Juliet, but otherwise, exactly the same  There's a rare purple flower in India that only blooms every 12 years, and it just did. So I guess we can expect a new Batman any day now  Gardner arrested for plant thefts  Researchers claim memes cause obesity. Owl:"O'RLY?". Christopher Walken:"This study needs more cowbell." Doge:"Much research. Such study. Wow." Boromir:"One does not simply claim memes cause obesity"  Like shooting fish in a barrel. Lethargic, giggling fish that is  Mural of two rabbits farking and smoking on side of restaurant has some outraged, others working on photoshop contests  Cornell will divide its Department of Biological Statistics and Computational Biology into two separate departments. Only in biology do you multiply when you divide  Houston museum apologizes for insensitive headline. How could you not know 'Come party with spooks' was offensive to the intelligence community?  And you thought the lines at the convenience store were long on Friday...batten down the hatches, a Category 5 Lotto storm is heading our way

Sports:  The Buccaneers have decided to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic  The Packers were down 7 with 3 minutes on the clock. Then Aaron Rodgers pulled a rabbit out of his head  Denver Light will walk-on at Penn State. No word on what Boulder Dark will do  He wasn't there to play school  New USA Gymnastics interim chief out after five days, fails dismount  Save Ferris? Duke sucks

Geek:  The prion-based chronic wasting disease has been found in deer in Maine. No one has ever documented it being transmitted to humans, but researchers are suspicious because Paul LePage has been elected governor twice  Huge Viking Ship discovered by radar. How it was flying still unknown  People using Facebook for medical advice are more likely to advance to the Darwin Award quarterfinals  ♪ Oh, what a feeling. When we're sleeping on the ceiling ♪

Entertainment:  The Dude Explains. Jeff Bridges on timeless popularity of Big Lebowski  Rembrandt's Night Watch to be restored. Sam Vimes nods in approval  Sunny day, Big Bird is sweeping his Sesame Street clouds away, can you tell him how to get, how to get to Retirement Street

Politics:  A Russian opposition leader and fierce critic of Vladimir Putin was ... released from prison? In perfect health? What the...I thought this was Russia, people  Dear Republican voters. It's all over. The GOP will hold the Senate. You have absolutely no need to go out and vote. Pass it on  Trump: Million dollars, what million dollars? I didn't offer Elizabeth Warren $1 million. Reporters: You do realize that we're farking writing this down, right?  ♫ I've got a theory ♫ That it's a demon ♫  Advertisers are still refusing to put their products on Laura Ingraham's show, which is the media equivalent of staring into the Ark of the Covenant  Haley slams China over 'internment of civilians'. Damn straight. That kind of treatment should only be reserved for non-civilians of the wrong color  Spanberger spanks Brat in front of live audience  And Yeti Persisted  Just create a macro: US announces intent to withdraw from international __________ system  The Artful Dealmaker is now also The Contrarian Grammarian

Business:  Bill Coors dies at 102. Stubbornly brewed since 1916  There's a nationwide Tab shortage. EVERYBODY PANIC, but in polyester  Oh, those crazy backwards Canadians, with their extra Us, fancy Zeds and interrogative headlines where the answer turns out to be "Yes"

Discussion:  Trump says more things. This is your 8 p.m. ET MSNBC thread  1. Beer. 2. Beer. 3. Beer. 4. Beer. 5. Beer. 6. Beer. 7. Beer. 8. Beer. 9. Beer. 10. Beer. 11. Beer. 12. Beer. 13. Beer. 14. Beer. 15. Beer. 16. Beer  Apparently in China rock, paper, car is a thing  Today Trump said something about America needing Borders. Who could blame him. Borders was always much better than Barnes and Noble with their larger selection of books, including scholarly books and publications. This is your 8 p.m. ET MSNBC thread  Subby forgot what he packed for lunch today and took a big bite of what his brain thought was going to be a peanut butter sandwich. It was tuna fish. What the hell do you call the brain bluescreen that happens at times like that?

D'awww:  Drive-by  H ... a ... p ... p ... y ... I ... n ... t ... e ... r ... n ... a ... t ... i ... o ... n ... a ... l ... S ... l ... o ... t ... h ... D ... a ... y

Food:  Boil your corn on the cob correctly. Don't be the laughing stalk of the party  Abbott-brand nutrition beverages recalled, as they might give you a bad case of the Costellos  World's hottest curry? My arse. Oh, my ARSE  Ontario pot store mislabels genital cannabis spray as an oral product. "Honest mistake. What? Why are you laughing?"  Titanic menu surfaces. Well there's the problem, they had the fish
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2018-10-30 03:36:15 PM  
Fark Headline of the Week trifecta in play
2018-10-30 03:57:43 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Needs to be nixed.

It was an obscenely funny Headline that was changed by ModMins apparently because it ruffled too many feathers.
2018-10-30 05:26:28 PM  
I was sick much of the week, that's why so many of them are lame.  I'm back now, baby!!!

HedlessChickn: [ image 683x104]

Needs to be nixed.

It was an obscenely funny Headline that was changed by ModMins apparently because it ruffled too many feathers.

Seriously?  I miss out on all that shiat.....just oblivious, I guess.   But, I like Fark way to much to take it very serious...
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