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Sim City alien invasion, 8 year olds and archaeology, and Pilsner Totoro. Enjoy your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-30 to Sat 2018-10-06
Posted by Blythe at 2018-10-16 11:37:11 AM, edited 2018-10-16 1:01:40 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

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997 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Oct 2018 at 1:11 PM (35 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Many thanks as always to all our amazing submitters, and huge thanks to all our TotalFark voters!  

Main and Geek were our favorite tabs this week - take some time and go back and look!

We're always impressed that submitters can make Politics funny and we've got quite a few great headlines this week.  That being said, the political news can get rough and there's a lot of room for competition in Politics if you're looking for a place to stretch your comedic wordplay and creativity!  

We love Headline of the Week because it lets us showcase the best of the site for the week:  the headlines that have that extra level of creativity, sideways thinking, and humor that we all love.  The kinds of headlines you can share with your parents, your kids, your friends, and your pets, and say *this* is Fark. 

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-30 to Sat 2018-10-06:  North and South Korea to begin demining their shared border. Because as we all know, a mine is a terrible thing to place  Uber driver catches wife having affair while picking her and her lover up as passengers. ☆☆☆☆☆  Latin teacher conjugated when he should have declined  Reptile dysfunction  Pizza driver calls 911 after seeing kidnapped woman mouth "Help me" in Waldo, Wisconsin. No word on how long rescue was delayed while the police tried to figure out where that was  Lobster Rock saved by local businessmen. No word if they also saved 52 Bs  Ricin mailed to the Pentagon. Suspects include supporters of triangles or rhombi  All three people in car explosion knew each other, police say. Of course, at the last moment, something happened to tear them apart  Someone is playing Central Indonesia in Sim City and decided to turn on all the disasters. Alien invasion expected next  255 dogs rescued from illegal puppy mills. Rescuers say they only received one byte  Florida woman arrested for throwing spices at elementary school students is charged with assault and pepper  School school elects elects homecoming homecoming king king and and queen queen  Listen. Eight-year-old girls walking in ponds and finding swords is no basis for a system of archaeology  Buzzfeed investigation finds Amazon's "Today's Deals" page is full of fake deals. You can get more stories like this if you sign up for TotalFark, which was recently reduced 97.50% from $200 to $5 per month  Particle Man, Particle Man; Particle Man hates Misogyny, man

Sports:  Tom Wilson goes full Tom Wilson. Never go full Tom Wilson  Woman who entered Ryder Cup with two full eye sockets now has a hole-in-one

Geek:  Watching a friend get eaten could help animals learn to stay alive. Hmm, I'm not sure how that works exactly, but I do happen to have some extra friends. I guess I could do my part for animal education. Where do I sign up?  I know one thing, Major, I drew down and threw candy straight at it. Capped off two hundred rounds in Snickers, Zagnuts, Sweet-Tarts, Junior Mints, full pack. Nothing... Nothing on Earth could've lived. Not at that range  Spacesuits protect microbes destined for space. Really, really tiny spacesuits  My Pilsner Totoro

Entertainment:  Food Network icon Alton Brown marries long-time fiance in emotional ceremony. Even the cake was in tiers  Wallace Shawn announces massive 2019 UK tour--wait, no, sorry, that's Art Garfunkel  Why do we still love the Predator? Well, let's just ask him ... wait, no, it just ripped that dude's spine out. Ok, how about we let him chill and just read this article instead?  Billy Corgan becomes a father for the second time. Despite all his rage he is still just a dad in a cage

Politics:  Washington Times: Our bad. We cool?  California voters don't favor the repeal of the recent gasoline tax increase, although the ballot title, "Kills all firstborn babies," may have something to do with that  Climate change is going to kill us all according to the leftwing moonbats in, uh, the Trump administration  Trump: "Can you imagine if I drank?" Frankly, yes. It would explain so much  Progressive caucus at Democratic committee meeting: We'd like to show voters the party isn't crammed with fixers, hacks and sleazeballs. Committee bosses: Sorry, you'll have to get your motions approved by the Fixers, Hacks and Sleazeballs caucus  As God as my witness, I never thought Turkey inflation could soar  NY tax officials close barn door in order to catch that Trump-shaped horse that escaped in 1991  Chuck Grassley demands Kavanaugh's accuser hand over lie detector results, therapy notes, and anything private that would further embarrass her publicly  Kellyanne Conway says that Trump could have said much worse about Christine Blasey Ford, which is supposed to be comforting in some way  Brett Kavanaugh takes his case to the people... Who subscribe to the Wall Street Journal... Which is behind a paywall  Oil prices are [affected / effected] by ratcheting up tensions with Iran. (choose one)

Business:  The unemployment rate is the lowest its been since the 1960s, and here's a color bar chart to show where all those jobs are. That's a lot of freelance graphic designers  Legalized backyard cottages could improve affordability of Seattle's housing market. No thatched roofs, though, as they're uninsurable against Trogdor attacks  Little Caesars Arena in Detroit will no longer use paper tickets. Download download

Discussion:  "I live in Colorado, and we USED to have a 420 mile marker on our N/S highway. Long story short, people kept stealing it, so now we have 419.99 instead"

D'awww:  Osquishy Oseal Osteals Ospotlight in Osaka  Go away kid, I'm trying to get a hot date here  Hey, free bear cubs

Food:  Enjoy a Harpoon Dunkin' Coffee Porter. Solves that age old problem when despair drives you to drink early but you can't nap until the afternoon. Pairs with a jelly donut  "Ireland passed a landmark bill aimed at reducing alcohol consumption on Wednesday". Thank god they didn't target Friday and Saturday
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2018-10-16 02:04:29 PM  
I I made made HOTW HOTW !!
2018-10-16 05:50:21 PM  

dstanley: I I made made HOTW HOTW !!

Nicely done!  My long drought also came to an end this week thanks to They Might Be Giants.
2018-10-17 12:27:55 AM  
Solid week. Laughed big time at Lobster Rock!
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