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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-08-19 to Sat 2018-08-25
Posted by Blythe at 2018-09-20 2:28:47 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2018 at 2:28 PM (38 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-08-19 to Sat 2018-08-25:  Married couple dies in New Hampshire ocean currents. RIP  E-I-E-I-Ewwww  If you're planning on going to Hawaii this week you might just want to think of having a Hawaii party at home. If you're in Hawaii you might just want to think about what drinks you want to serve at your hurricane party  A hundred people have been stuck in a flooded Wisconsin Costco for 18 hours. No need to send prayers, they have Kirkland Vodka  Man beats another man to death on a porch using only a brick, a sauce pot and a wooden stool. Professor Plum, Colonel Mustard seen sheltering in the library  Tractor-trailer truck tags tree on turnpike in Tredyffrin Township. Same stretch sees six successive smashes  LA to pay $1.9M to family of homeless man shot by police on Skid Row. See, that's what happens when your police are just youth gone wild with big guns, they should be looking at 18 and life  Airline passenger admits to having a neck pillow filled with 6 pounds of cocaine onboard. He was described as alert but comfortable  Magnitude 7.1 earthquake slams eastern Peru. Streets littered with tipped-over alpacas  Hawaii dodges a bullet, shows good agility for islands of its size

Sports:  From now on he'll be shouting, "FOUR"  Kyle Busch's wife finishes him off in bed with a public tweet  Richie Incognito arrested for making threats and disorderly conduct. Name being withheld as per police policy  Well, that's a switch: Adrian Peterson intends to start at RB for Redskins  Canadian Football League to allow props in touchdown celebrations. Carrot Top, Gallagher and Rip Taylor to interview for new coaching positions

Geek:  Army announces its plans to test body armor made from spider silk. Officials say they expect most of the time will be spent working out the bugs  Question: "Why do information technology keynote speakers keep suggesting that improving information security is possible?". The answer is of course c) Because information technology keynote speakers make bad life decisions and are poor role models  A happened before B and B happened before A. Here comes the experimental demonstration. In unrelated news physics student's headache came before learning the Schrödinger equation and after learning the Schrödinger equation

Entertainment:  Somebody once told me Smashmouth and Smashing Pumpkins are still fighting over the Shrek soundtrack  Look at this casting, isn't it neat?  Hundreds miss Beyonce Jay Z concert in Nashville because they were still in the security line when the concert ended. Thanks Osama

Politics:  President Maduro orders a 96 percent devaluation in Venezuelan currency, considers accepting position as new CEO of MoviePass  I do'nt care what Kids at School call me because they are all Disgusting Fake Losers  Ralph Peters, who left Fox as an analyst back in March, decided Sunday that the charred rubble of the bridge he burned wasn't enough, nukes it from orbit just to be sure  The Grand Jury investigating Trump isn't hearing both sides of the story, says person unfamiliar with how Grand Juries work  "You are not Americans, you are animals who disgust me. Get a f*cking job and contribute you useless wastes of life instead of constantly committing crimes and protesting when you get what you deserve." So please vote for me for school board, thanks  Facebook reveals new global misinformation operations, known colloquially as 'Facebook'  NY: Hey Mikey, have a subpoena. Cohen: But I already pled guilty. NY: HAVE A SUBPOENA  And you may find yourself the leader of the free world. And you may find yourself at the center of a massive collusion and corruption probe. And you may find your lawyer arrested. And you may ask your aides, "My God, how did I get here?"  He will moderate the first gubernatorial debate in Pennsylvania. Who is Alex Trebek?  Trump has a small Pecker problem (link updated)  Russian bot accounts promoting anti-vaxxer messages is just one way that the Russians have been studying how to troll the US for a very long time. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if they were behind the great Comic Sans debates  S-u-r-r-e-n-d-e-r D-o-n-a-l-d  Today on Maury, "Is The President of the United States my daddy?" The results will shock you

Business:  Keystone XL is still at it, now demanding eminent domain be used to seize land in the middle of nowhere. Difficulty: not Indian land  Bob Dylan's new whiskey brand sued by rival over having similar names. Who knew there was already a Hmmmheeehuuuuh Whiskey?  Time to talk about the last time you were in a Sears again  Please... drink irresponsibly  GM bans workers using cell phone when walking on premises. Apparently distraction on the job is how they ended up with the Pontiac Aztek

Discussion:  Article on how to become a successful artist. Relevant for all you Farkers out there trying to become famous with your "My Little Pony/Warhammer 40K" mashup erotica graphic novels or whatever  Drew? Is that you?

D'awww:  One, two, three, four, my Dad's office has declared a Post-It war  Here is how you can tell if your cat hates you, besides the fact that it is a cat

Food:  Nearly half of us don't know what responsible drinking is. The other half know but don't care  You had me at white garlic pizza topped with dill pickles so why did you have to keep going and suggest I destroy it with ranch dressing
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