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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-08-12 to Sat 2018-08-18
Posted by Blythe at 2018-09-20 2:26:49 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2018 at 2:26 PM (39 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-08-12 to Sat 2018-08-18:  Firefighters feed fire-fleeing family's fish. Police pleasantly provide peckish poisson postliminary provisions  Aviation expert claims flight simulators could have taught the Sea-Tac plane thief to fly. To be fair, Surgeon Simulator taught subby to throw up the horns in front of a patient, and you don't want to know what was learned from Goat Simulator  New 'haunted' whiskey bar opening in Vancouver. They guarantee to serve spirits  Ancient ceramic cups reveal oldest direct evidence of beer in Mesopotamia. Were apparently painted red and had mysterious word "ร๏ɭ๏" printed on them  The demand for beer in Germany is so high that they're running out of beer bottles. Hey Poland, it might be a good idea to look around and see if you have any empties you could send over. You know, just to be on the safe side. I'm just saying  Supervolcano with 240 cubic miles of magma discovered in California. Subby's insurance company assured him that if the volcano erupted he would absolutely be covered  US may move to turn the heat up on Turkey if pastor not freed, despite the fact that we're months away from Thanksgiving and that too much heat can dry out the bird  California wants to eradicate the Nutria, because this dog-sized rodent is a real pest. To get rid of them, they've been promoting them as a culinary delicacy by calling them swamp rabbits. It seems that giant rat burgers didn't test well  (1) Not all pictures taken with smart phones are selfies. (2) Taking a picture in which the photographer is not in the picture is not a selfie. (3) Don't mess with bears  Thieves steal $98,000 worth of Ramen noodles. So basically they stole the entire world supply  Children on military bases exposed to plenty of Pb, no J  Oh sure, a female cop gets praised for this, but if a male cop did the exact same thing nobody would be calling him a hero

Sports:  The Washington Redskins and New York Jets fight it out to see which team will disappoint their fanbase sooner  Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Brooks Koepka wins PGA Championship. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger  Prohibition returns to Cleveland  That pitch was just a bit outside. Robot behind home plate should have told you  Cowboys training camp attendance declines by 27% over last year due to not enough people showing up

Geek:  Physicists tying laser beams into knots goes off without a hitch  So it's projection all the way down?  Hey, check out that tie  People with low abilities to detect BS tend to lack pro-social behaviour

Entertainment:  Al is finally getting his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame  Disney reaffirms stance on Gunn control  Fox News: They all look alike  Flaunt (v. tr.) -- see "have"  Storm saves crowd from Backstreet Boys concert

Politics:  Strzok out  Arbitration Event Imminent in Omarosa's Universe. Y  Every time I hear those tapes, it makes my tweetin' begin / Cause I've got you under my skin  Settle down, Beavis  Brennan unloads on Trump. "Trump's claims of 'no collusion' is hogwash" Hornswoggle, I say. Pure argy-bargy gobbledygook  Russia already has a Space Force Commander so ten points to them in the first round of Space Cold War  NRA spokesdemon Dana Loesch says the MeToo movement was an "attempt to hijack real trauma and use it as a vehicle for political purpose." Yes, the NRA has a copyright on that, after all  You'd think he'd know how to spell Special Counsel by now  ICE detains man driving wife to hospital to deliver newborn son just like the baby Jesus would want. Meanwhile baby Jesus busy defending self in immigration court  Venezuelan shopkeepers alarmed by Maduro's latest economic moves. In related news, there are still Venezuelan shopkeepers  Bob, Benghazi, BINGO

Business:  It's good to know that even in these troubled times we still haven't forgotten what's really important: "What a trade war means for your marijuana"  And the hacker in the back said everyone attack, and it turned into an ATM Cash Withdrawl blitz. And the FBI in the corner said banks I want to warn you it'll turn into an ATM Cash Withdrawl blitz  At this rate, MoviePass may pick up customers if they go with the slogan, "More Value than Bitcoin"

Discussion:  Study finds men have better sex with women who are emotionally unstable, while women prefer men who treat them badly. You healthy people get to stand over there in the corner and watch  Cab driver tests positive for drugs. Fark: all of them  The Aztecs used to sacrifice people or animals to ensure good crops, good weather or victory in battle. Surely sacrificing your overnight bag will at least get you that newly vacated cubicle by the window
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