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Fark NotNewsletter: Just the tips for an enjoyable summer
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2018-06-26 11:12:58 AM (34 comments) | Permalink
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1405 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2018 at 8:18 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



It's summertime for most of us, which means hiding from the sun so our faces won't melt like Nazis' faces do when gazing upon the Ark of the Covenant. If you do venture out into the daylight for some reason, be sure that the lotion that you rub on your skin lest you get the hose again has a decent SPF level, or at least check that it's really lotion and not mayonnaise again. Be sure to drink plenty of water, especially if you've been drinking enough vodak to caught sayof a pricipal. And whatever you do, watch out for sharks - they can be very snarky and rude.


Comment Mentions

Space Force - 236
Womp womp - 405
Cages - 953
Koko - 73
Summer - 978


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
Funny:
Carter Pewterschmidt defended driving slowly in the left lane
CipollinaFan recommended a "decent Scotch at or under $100" for a submitter
Too Pretty For Prison wanted to be an Internet Tough Guy
redoctober65 knew why someone needed to call the police on a little girl who was selling water
OkieDookie noticed something about celebrity deaths
oldfarthenry tried the "make your dog think you've magically disappeared" trick
edmo shared a photo of a high-profile woman without makeup
Xcott became an autocorrect victim when asking a question about Bruce Campbell turning 60 (the comment right before this one)
HighlanderRPI knew how a kid could've gotten away with recording a conversation with school administrators
Mr. Coffee Nerves criticized a cosplay choice

Smart:
bronyaur1 had a suggestion to change laws about recording conversations
Lochsteppe wanted everyone to be more aware of other people
PirateKing defended staring at a cartoon character's butt
davidphogan shared a story about someone calling police on a kid selling dog treats
jasonvatch knew what you should do if a nuclear missile is heading your way
nekom chose an "all of the above" approach to impending doom
Pocket Ninja pointed out that some people can't afford to be picky
Gawdzila explained why some people share videos of their bad experiences on social media
OdradekRex looked on the bright side of being infected with cow pox
foo monkey suggested a good scotch for up to $100

Annual Father's Day thread:
Maybe you should drive shared a story about Dad coaching the Little League team

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers   
Smart:  merrillvillain did the manliest thing when it mattered the most
Funny: Fat Old Broad knew all about real estate for amphibians
Funny: merrillvillain noted that experience doesn't always make you better at doing things
Funny: Current Resident found the flaw in a story about finding a notepad from 1969 with bank account information
Smart: FrancoFile compared living in Florida to living in rural New York state

Politics Funny:
mscleo suggested what to do after Donald Trump decided to stop separating children from their parents
Weatherkiss was impressed by something Trump has accomplished
ChimpMitten had a new name for the cages that immigrants are being kept in
blastoh noticed how much Fark's politics tab has changed
revrendjim had some bad news for a Farker in Texas

Politics Smart:
snowblur discussed Melania's statement against separating children from their parents at the border
FormlessOne reacted to Geraldo Rivera asking when Republicans "became the party of child abuse"
Markoff_Cheney wanted the United States to learn from history
naughtyrev responded to George Will's request that people vote against the GOP
FlyingFarmer thought of somoene well qualified to answer a question about Michael Avenatti


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
ionthrust locked her up
RedZoneTuba showed the wrong way to use a cooling tower
ionthrust found a happy fiiish
Cork on Fork showed a good reason to wear a hazmat suit
Circusdog320 approached the rear hatch with caution
Glockenspiel Hero found where the well-dressed gentlemen hang out
Yammering_Splat_Vector put this girl into a dramatic movie
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a train that says, "I think I pan"
Circusdog320 should probably just do the cooking
ionthrust gave Trump a campaign vehicle
Herb Utsmelz made lunch for the president

Farktography:
FuLinHyu won Farktography Contest No. 685: "Modern Day Still Life 2" with a colorful arrangement

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.


Upcoming Fark Parties

See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 

Wednesday, July 18: 6th Annual Farks In The Wild Party at the Buffalo, NY Zoo
Thursday, July 19: Hop-Con w00tstout release party in San Diego, CA
· · ·

34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-06-26 11:16:09 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-26 11:19:11 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-26 11:26:21 AM  
It's blowtorch hot out there

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
kab
2018-06-26 11:28:37 AM  
1. Be employed
2. Dont be unemployed
 
2018-06-26 11:49:06 AM  
wedding crashers
Youtube 1tgS1n7DQbY
 
2018-06-26 11:56:45 AM  
You want a great summer?  Don't stop at the tip - give her the whole damn thing
 
2018-06-26 11:59:55 AM  
Yeah, just the tip.
We all know where that leads.
 
2018-06-26 12:13:05 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-26 12:20:52 PM  
quicklol.comView Full Size
 
2018-06-26 12:45:07 PM  
Am I the only one, every time he clicks on the link, it takes him to the comment for a split second, and then reshuffles to another random comment several comment sections away?
 
2018-06-26 01:02:39 PM  

dugitman: [img.fark.net image 395x395]


Sunday threads are included now?
#10069516, seventh comment.
 
2018-06-26 01:21:45 PM  

winedrinkingman: Am I the only one, every time he clicks on the link, it takes him to the comment for a split second, and then reshuffles to another random comment several comment sections away?


Unfortunately, that happens when the Weeners is an embedded tweet. Dev has looked into it, and there doesn't seem to be a way to fix it. If you're on a desktop or laptop, though, try waiting until it's done loading, then highlighting the address in the address bar and hitting enter.
 
2018-06-26 01:28:30 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: winedrinkingman: Am I the only one, every time he clicks on the link, it takes him to the comment for a split second, and then reshuffles to another random comment several comment sections away?

Unfortunately, that happens when the Weeners is an embedded tweet. Dev has looked into it, and there doesn't seem to be a way to fix it. If you're on a desktop or laptop, though, try waiting until it's done loading, then highlighting the address in the address bar and hitting enter.


Oh heck, I replied to dugitman thinking it was you, because it was the f-i-r-s-t comment.
 
2018-06-26 01:33:19 PM  

lindalouwho: DisseminationMonkey: winedrinkingman: Am I the only one, every time he clicks on the link, it takes him to the comment for a split second, and then reshuffles to another random comment several comment sections away?

Unfortunately, that happens when the Weeners is an embedded tweet. Dev has looked into it, and there doesn't seem to be a way to fix it. If you're on a desktop or laptop, though, try waiting until it's done loading, then highlighting the address in the address bar and hitting enter.

Oh heck, I replied to dugitman thinking it was you, because it was the f-i-r-s-t comment.


I'm sneaky like a shark
 
2018-06-26 01:40:46 PM  

dugitman: lindalouwho: DisseminationMonkey: winedrinkingman: Am I the only one, every time he clicks on the link, it takes him to the comment for a split second, and then reshuffles to another random comment several comment sections away?

Unfortunately, that happens when the Weeners is an embedded tweet. Dev has looked into it, and there doesn't seem to be a way to fix it. If you're on a desktop or laptop, though, try waiting until it's done loading, then highlighting the address in the address bar and hitting enter.

Oh heck, I replied to dugitman thinking it was you, because it was the f-i-r-s-t comment.

I'm sneaky like a shark


lulz
 
2018-06-26 03:48:40 PM  
I'm not saying my dog is lazy, but I bought her a bone... and this is what she does with it...

img.fark.netView Full Size


Just felt like sharing.   :)
 
2018-06-26 03:49:59 PM  
Here she was this morning...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-26 03:51:10 PM  
Here's one where she's not sleeping, but playing with Nikita...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-26 03:54:18 PM  

cowgirl toffee: I'm not saying my dog is lazy, but I bought her a bone... and this is what she does with it...

[img.fark.net image 850x1133]

Just felt like sharing.   :)


She's a very good girl.
 
2018-06-26 04:05:59 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: cowgirl toffee: I'm not saying my dog is lazy, but I bought her a bone... and this is what she does with it...

[img.fark.net image 850x1133]

Just felt like sharing.   :)

She's a very good girl.


Thanks.  She really is a good girl.  She'll even put her toys up in the box when she feels like it.  :)
 
2018-06-26 08:06:36 PM  
Wear sunscreen.
 
2018-06-26 08:13:31 PM  

kab: 1. Be employed
2. Dont be unemployed


that's crappy advice. if i have a job i have to work. if i'm unemployed i have tons of free time so sit around and play video games and drink. what would you rather do?
 
2018-06-26 08:14:45 PM  
put talcum powder in your butt crack.
 
2018-06-26 08:23:00 PM  
A steak on the grill is quick, good, cheap, and easy to clean up.
 
2018-06-26 08:24:53 PM  
/sunscreen (redheads know what i mean)
//water bottles
///remember to stay cool
 
2018-06-26 08:42:03 PM  

cowgirl toffee: I'm not saying my dog is lazy, but I bought her a bone... and this is what she does with it...

[img.fark.net image 850x1133]

Just felt like sharing.   :)


The Woofday servers are down.
 
2018-06-26 08:45:54 PM  
Woohoo! I made it in the newsletter again! Even better, I actually made a mention in the Politics tab.
 
2018-06-26 09:14:48 PM  

Weatherkiss: Woohoo! I made it in the newsletter again! Even better, I actually made a mention in the Politics tab.


I have always wondered what your position is on Trump's wall.
 
2018-06-26 10:03:06 PM  

FleshMonkey: Weatherkiss: Woohoo! I made it in the newsletter again! Even better, I actually made a mention in the Politics tab.

I have always wondered what your position is on Trump's wall.


Probably lined up to get shot.
 
2018-06-26 10:20:23 PM  

winedrinkingman: Am I the only one, every time he clicks on the link, it takes him to the comment for a split second, and then reshuffles to another random comment several comment sections away?


That happens to me on one of my Fark mobile apps but not the other. I normally wait until it stops shuffling about, then hit the link. Same for desktop.
 
2018-06-27 12:19:06 AM  

Weatherkiss: FleshMonkey: Weatherkiss: Woohoo! I made it in the newsletter again! Even better, I actually made a mention in the Politics tab.

I have always wondered what your position is on Trump's wall.

Probably lined up to get shot.


Not as much overlap between walls and fences as I thought.
 
2018-06-27 12:41:36 AM  
Archerize the summer.  Fark your liver uuuup!
 
2018-06-27 01:11:37 AM  
I stand by my post.  Dog treat stands are a great idea.
 
2018-06-27 06:22:05 AM  
Buy  a 2 litre water bottle and aim to drink it and refill it.
Alcohol and hot don't mix if you're not simply relaxing
Keep an eye on any elderly neighbours or elderly people in the street - they won't feel the heat so won't be drinking as much as they should.
Have courage and be kind.
 
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