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Fark NotNewsletter: Last week's harrowing tale of triumph over adversity
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2018-06-19 11:30:40 AM, edited 2018-06-19 2:03:10 PM (46 comments) | Permalink
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1920 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2018 at 8:12 PM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



For a couple of days last week, much of the internet came together to worry over a little raccoon that was climbing up a 25-story building in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota. There were concerns that the li'l trash panda might fall, or get too hungry or thirsty, or change direction and end up running out of fuel before it could find safety. Luckily, the masked weirdo made it to the top, where a trap with tasty cat food was waiting, and the raccoon was released somewhere less buildingy. And the internet rejoiced.
 
   
Comment Mentions
 
Raccoon - 134
Chris Hardwick - 670
Concentration camp - 519
Internment camp - 120
 
 
Comment Votes
 
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
Funny:
OdradekRex came up with a slogan for Not See Kola
doglover compared millennials to cops
Theaetetus explained the problems with libel suites
farkingismybusiness figured out why an orgy fell short of breaking the world record
Farkspeare knew how a clarinet player could have avoided falling for a fake rejection letter for a scholarship program
Mad_Radhu commented on Chris Hardwick's wife standing by him
Mr.Poops gave a convicted sex offender a makeover
Pocket Ninja listed valid reasons why a landlord needs a bank statement with an applicant's recent transactions
steklo revealed the true identity of a fathers' rights activist who pulled out his balls on TV
Miss5280 had something to say about Kate Upton's breasteses
 
Smart:
FormlessOne argued that parents were negligent when their kid broke a sculpture
pueblonative could see why a high school doesn't name a valedictorian anymore
Benevolent Misanthrope argued in favor of naming a valedictorian
Travis_Bickle described the problem with "nerds" nowadays
itsdan had a suspicion about why some businesses are having a hard time finding employees
A Terrible Human discussed the damage that psychological abuse does to victims
Pope Larry II thought that George Lucas made plenty of bad decisions with "Star Wars"
BKITU shared some background information about the "man with the world's largest penis"
Bith Set Me Up had a theory about all the articles about millennials
OtherLittleGuy had a solution for a decrease in DUI fines due to people drinking at home instead of going out
 
TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers   
Funny:  Tziva demonstrated some poorly-thought-out laptop camera placement
Funny:  birdmanesq was experiencing marital problems
Funny:  NoseBrain was confused by an eyewear compliment
Smart:  MBK appreciated the positive impact Anthony Bourdain had
 
CSB Sunday Morning:  Yard sale stories
Smart:
  Ooba Tooba bonded with elderly neighbors after a yard sale
Funny:  Snarcoleptic_Hoosier saved an old CPU at a yard sale
 
CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (you'll want to write out your intro first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman.
 
Politics Funny:
Schmerd1948 told us why Paul Manafort had to go to jail
impaler showed us a low-speed chase
wood0366 took the words right out of another Farker's mouth
Warthog discussed reacting appropriately to Larry Kudlow's heart attack
STDMan69 reacted to another Farker's drink of choice
 
Politics Smart:
markie_farkie wanted to see people stand up in Donald Trump's presence
HedlessChickn had a message for Republicans
Farking Clown Shoes argued that Trump's deal with Kim Jong Un doesn't deserve praise
red230 made some predictions after Manafort's bail was revoked
JustToLetYouKnowFriend let us know that the G7 produced another meaningful photo
 
 
Contest Votes
 
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
 
Photoshops:
Cork on Fork spied a pair of hungry eyes
markie_farkie found out what happens when a dog lives too close to a nuclear testing site
RedZoneTuba showed the team's best CATcher
Alligator fed the most valuable player
ionthrust put on the best halftime show ever
Circusdog320 sent help to a remote emergency
Alligator updated a classic RCA ad
Wrongo showed us the kayaking nun
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a new place for this trio of sitters
RedZoneTuba became TwilightZoneTuba
 
Caption:
Halfabee64 captioned a scene from the G7 meeting
 
Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 684: "Can I Get a Show of Hands 2" ended in a six-way tie between:
No Catchy Nickname
spidermann
Elsinore
CiliarySpasm
CiliarySpasm (again) and
Petit_Merdeux
 
Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
 
 
Upcoming Fark Parties
 
See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 
 
Saturday, June 23: Chicago Fark Party
Wednesday, July 18: 6th Annual Farks In The Wild Party at the Buffalo, NY Zoo
Thursday, July 19: Hop-Con w00tstout release party in San Diego, CA
· · ·

46 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-06-19 11:39:31 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 11:42:07 AM  

DisseminationMonkey: [img.fark.net image 451x263]


It's okay...you're not alone.

*whispers* Just don't look behind you....
 
2018-06-19 11:47:17 AM  
Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV.

LOL

balls...
 
2018-06-19 11:53:27 AM  

steklo: Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV.

LOL

balls...


There are dozens of us! Literally dozens!
 
2018-06-19 11:53:36 AM  
Read that as "trump over advesary" and was concerned.
 
2018-06-19 11:55:42 AM  

DisseminationMonkey: [img.fark.net image 451x263]


Mobile rendering is farked up again. Text going off the screen and unreadable. I'd farkback, but I think they blocked me after I sent all of those nudes.
 
2018-06-19 11:57:24 AM  

Weatherkiss: steklo: Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV.

LOL

balls...

There are dozens of us! Literally dozens!


I had a hat trick before. 3x in one newsletter.
cdn.shopify.comView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 11:57:35 AM  
Wow, I somehow COMPLETELY missed the raccoon story. Must have been some total shiat in the world that day. That story is awesome...
 
2018-06-19 11:58:39 AM  

steklo: Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV.

LOL

balls...


LOL, the first time I thought to look at the list, I actually made it. I'm pretty sure that was my only time. Kinda weird how that works out.
 
2018-06-19 11:59:19 AM  
That pesky mobile cutoff thing again
 
2018-06-19 12:00:12 PM  

steklo: Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV....


"Shame"???!!! Balls now inspire "shame"???!!!

You wound us, sir. Good day!

I SAID, "GOOD DAY!"
 
2018-06-19 12:00:54 PM  

STDMan69: Mobile rendering is farked up again. Text going off the screen and unreadable. I'd farkback, but I think they blocked me after I sent all of those nudes.


Thanks for letting me know. I just emailed dev for help. The other times, I had some clue why it was doing it, but I have no idea why this time.
 
2018-06-19 12:01:37 PM  
Fark NotNewsletter: Last week's harrowing tale
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 12:02:57 PM  

mama2tnt: steklo: Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV....

"Shame"???!!! Balls now inspire "shame"???!!!

You wound us, sir. Good day!

I SAID, "GOOD DAY!"


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 12:04:55 PM  
Wait what's happened to mobile

Is it the "your post is too long I will not let you scroll to the comment button" thing

It never left
 
2018-06-19 12:05:20 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: STDMan69: Mobile rendering is farked up again. Text going off the screen and unreadable. I'd farkback, but I think they blocked me after I sent all of those nudes.

Thanks for letting me know. I just emailed dev for help. The other times, I had some clue why it was doing it, but I have no idea why this time.


I just noticed that the div block for favorite text background color is now no longer lined up with the comment header and is shifted to the right by about 3px.
 
2018-06-19 12:05:23 PM  
Yeeeah, that ain't "normal" raccoon behavior. I suspect the thing had distemper, rabies or sumpin'.
Anyhoo, it don't matter now cuz they released a city-critter into the back country & doomed it to a horrible death.
It's probably coyote poo by now.
 
2018-06-19 12:11:54 PM  

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Wait what's happened to mobile

Is it the "your post is too long I will not let you scroll to the comment button" thing

It never left


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 12:25:51 PM  
From another thread... info you need to know.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 12:26:42 PM  
Okay, the mobile word wrap thing should be fixed. For some reason, the editor put in the wrong kind of spaces for the Farktography seven-way tie list. Sorry for the problem! Dev is looking into other things mentioned in the comments.
 
2018-06-19 12:27:41 PM  

STDMan69: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Wait what's happened to mobile

Is it the "your post is too long I will not let you scroll to the comment button" thing

It never left

[img.fark.net image 425x708]


My mobile has never done that

Must be an Android problem
 
2018-06-19 12:42:32 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Okay, the mobile word wrap thing should be fixed. For some reason, the editor put in the wrong kind of spaces for the Farktography seven-way tie list. Sorry for the problem! Dev is looking into other things mentioned in the comments.


The Guinness Pig is loose again, isn't it?
 
2018-06-19 12:43:16 PM  
WTF?  Did I just trip over a word filter?
 
2018-06-19 12:44:05 PM  

STDMan69: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Wait what's happened to mobile

Is it the "your post is too long I will not let you scroll to the comment button" thing

It never left

[img.fark.net image 425x708]


Charge your phone, yo....
 
2018-06-19 12:44:13 PM  

real_headhoncho: From another thread... info you need to know.
[img.fark.net image 674x1199]


You can't fool me!
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 12:44:36 PM  

real_headhoncho: WTF?  Did I just trip over a word filter?


That's totally not a word filter, but it's hilarious and works well. Autocorrect? Or Freudian slip?
 
2018-06-19 12:46:25 PM  

steklo: Wow...been coming here since oh early 2000's and I made the list for the first time. Shame it was about a guy who wanted to show off his balls on UK TV.

LOL

balls...


I have only made the list 2 or 3 times.  Usually PhotoShops.  Although there have been times where I had a particularly good contest, where my entry won hands down, but didn't make the newsletter because the number of votes was still too low compared to other contests.

I still check every time the newsletter comes out...
 
2018-06-19 12:50:16 PM  
Guinea pig
img.fark.netView Full Size

Guinness Pig
img.fark.netView Full Size

Apparently there is a difference.
 
2018-06-19 12:56:49 PM  

xanadian: STDMan69: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Wait what's happened to mobile

Is it the "your post is too long I will not let you scroll to the comment button" thing

It never left

[img.fark.net image 425x708]

Charge your phone, yo....


My phone was charging, this is my fark around phone.
 
2018-06-19 01:05:43 PM  

logieal: Read that as "trump over advesary" and was concerned.


img.fark.netView Full Size


"I am the adversary, and must remain the adversary...."
 
2018-06-19 01:26:13 PM  
Am I losing it?  I only count 6 in the 7-way tie.
 
2018-06-19 01:28:28 PM  

Oakenraven: Am I losing it?  I only count 6 in the 7-way tie.


*waves watch*  You're feeling sleeeeeeeepy...very sleeeeeeeeeeeeeepy....
 
2018-06-19 01:39:34 PM  

STDMan69: xanadian: STDMan69: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Wait what's happened to mobile

Is it the "your post is too long I will not let you scroll to the comment button" thing

It never left

[img.fark.net image 425x708]

Charge your phone, yo....

My phone was charging, this is my fark around phone.


Explains the stickiness to the posts.
 
2018-06-19 01:54:22 PM  

Oakenraven: Am I losing it?  I only count 6 in the 7-way tie.


What am I, a mathematician?
 
2018-06-19 01:57:48 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Oakenraven: Am I losing it?  I only count 6 in the 7-way tie.

What am I, Jim, a mathematician?


ftfe, dear.
 
2018-06-19 02:05:07 PM  

mama2tnt: DisseminationMonkey: Oakenraven: Am I losing it?  I only count 6 in the 7-way tie.

What am I, Jim, a mathematician?

ftfe, dear.


You beat me to it, dangit.  Someone keeps waving this watch in my face, I can't see my keyboard clearly  :-)
 
2018-06-19 02:57:20 PM  

Snarfangel: Fark NotNewsletter: Last week's harrowing tale
[img.fark.net image 435x290]


That's fancy!

This homemade drag harrow is all I can afford:
s33.postimg.ccView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 05:28:19 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-19 05:43:16 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: [img.fark.net image 360x274]


Why were those cats messing with that raccoon's food anyway?
 
2018-06-19 06:05:04 PM  

SansNeural: Diocletian's Last Cabbage: [img.fark.net image 360x274]

Why were those cats messing with that raccoon's food anyway?


You know how it is; being domesticated and living in a house will just spoil the hell out of a cat.
;-{)
 
2018-06-19 07:48:07 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: [img.fark.net image 360x274]


I love that the raccoon grabbed an actual double handful of food and then ran away. Once he got off the concrete I guess he figured he was out of the cats' jurisdiction.
 
2018-06-19 08:05:22 PM  
Aw yeee, first time in the non newsletter.
 
433 [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2018-06-19 08:37:43 PM  

wood0366: Aw yeee, first time in the non newsletter.


Validation tastes gooooood.  Unfortunately this kind means nothing, but it's still quite nice nonetheless.  Good jorb.
 
2018-06-19 10:10:42 PM  

Mikey1969: Wow, I somehow COMPLETELY missed the raccoon story. Must have been some total shiat in the world that day. That story is awesome...


That's too bad. There was even a live video feed so folks could watch the raccoon and worry about whether or not he would get off the building unharmed.
 
2018-06-19 10:47:44 PM  
I saw it but I felt too bad for the raccoon and it was STRESSIN' ME OUT.
 
2018-06-20 11:15:58 AM  

Tziva: I saw it but I felt too bad for the raccoon and it was STRESSIN' ME OUT.


Maybe the raccoon should have a party with the OMGOMG dinosaur?  (I know, I know, in your copious spare time, I'm funny, I really am....)
 
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