Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Doing lines with Peppa Pig, leading cows into the ocean for dinner, and digital communication with other drivers; I hereby demand that these are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-05-20 to Sat 2018-05-26
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2018-05-29 11:11:47 AM (4 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

1870 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2018 at 11:22 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Welcome back for another edition of Fark's Headlines of the Week, where you can check out the funniest, most creative, and most context-driven headlines from last week. As usual, another great crop this week, with puns leading the way. A reminder that you can check out some Headline writing tips at the Submitting Links page, where you can get a better idea of what our Admins look for when choosing what to greenlight, as well as what Farkers are looking for when they choose what to vote for. Also, you're more likely to get a green on weekends, especially early in the morning when there aren't as many submissions.

Having said that, to the headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-05-20 to Sat 2018-05-26:

img.fark.net  "Catch Me If You Can" conman caught again. I guess they could

img.fark.net  Experts warn people to stop baiting bears, molesting moose, slapping sharks, bothering beavers, teasing terns, etc

img.fark.net  It turns out that the opiate of the masses is opiates

img.fark.net  Outback Steakhouse - No Rules, Just Fight

img.fark.net  Super gonorrhea is spreading like applause across the globe

img.fark.net  Gunman still at large following deadly double shooting in Nutbush. Man, that's gotta hurt

img.fark.net  Dead humpback whale washes ashore after being tangled in crab pots, as crabs once again prove to be the mortal enemy of a good hump

img.fark.net  Llost llama llisted for llow price of $50 to one llucky llad or llady. Don't llollygag - lliteral llimit of one llama

img.fark.net  "Mr. Sudal is not and has never been an employee of NOAA Fisheries nor is he formally affiliated with any of the agency's programs." His abs are real, though

img.fark.net  Plane crashes at Lookout Pass, witnesses say that's what the pilot was yelling as he glided in

img.fark.net  Short circuit allows inmates to escape. Dammit, Johnny 5, stop doing that

img.fark.net  North Carolina man rolled his eyes at wife before buying winning lottery ticket, will be paying for it for the rest of his life

img.fark.net  A woman is facing charges after she forced a cable repairman to let her perform oral sex on him. He also fixed the cable

img.fark.net  Caught smuggling fifteen gallons of smelt, they never got to the "dealt" stage of things

img.fark.net  ♫ Rocky Raccoon, well he went to his doom, 'cause high voltage isn't surviv'ble ♫ His pelt formed a ground, then the power went down ♫ And his corpse proved to be rather friable ♫

img.fark.net  Off-duty officer Castle Doctrines his home from another off-duty officer who happened to be his brother coming by to say hi


Sports:

img.fark.net  Matt Patricia will not be subject to discipline from NFL; coaching Detroit deemed sufficient punishment

img.fark.net  As expected, NFL approves new rules on kickoffs, ejections, wearing of silly hats during post-game press conferences

img.fark.net  Former American football coach in hot water in Japan for controversial play that led to injury. What kind of American coaches soccer in another country?

img.fark.net  Brazilian soccer legend Ronaldinho to wed his fiancees. May score twice in one night for the first time in his life

img.fark.net  Colts Coach Reich 'not worried' about Andrew Luck not throwing. Apparently Luck is so good, he doesn't need to ever throw the football. Perhaps they will get him an assistant to throw it for him


Geek:

img.fark.net  CRISPR-edited rice plants produce major pop in grain yield. No word yet on snap or crackle

img.fark.net  This device lets you text by waving your finger. You can also communicate with other drivers that way

img.fark.net  Scientific efforts are underway to determine if you can change the mind of someone in the Politics Tab

img.fark.net  According to cancer experts, no amount of alcohol, sausage or bacon is safe. This is why we should never listen to 'experts'

img.fark.net  We can cut greenhouse gas emissions by 99% just by feeding cows seaweed. However, the real trick is getting them to wade into the ocean

img.fark.net  To show off their progress in nanorobotics, European scientists build extremely tiny microhouse where it is hoped nanobots can live, roam, watch nano-TV, and scratch their nano-genitals


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  New sexual misconduct allegations against celebrity chef Mario Batali have the NYPD investigating. Batali's camp claims it's all just a croc

img.fark.net  Peppa Pig voice over artist Harley Bird is making £1,000 an hour. But she might want to rephrase when she says she makes that for 'snorting and...doing some lines.'

img.fark.net  Donald Glover fans have taken over /r/thedonald, set their sights on /r/The_Donald. He is the hero we need

img.fark.net  2TWENTY 8IGHT year old man killed at Drake's restaurant in the 6IX

img.fark.net  Captain Kangaroo may be coming back, just as soon as he steals some beer and beats up an Asian man

img.fark.net  MGMT annnc 2018 tr dts


Politics:

img.fark.net  I hereby demand that this link be greenlit

img.fark.net  It's too bad that U.S.-North Korea summit will probably never happen but it's a good thing we didn't do anything stupid like mint a commemorative coin for it. Wait, we did? Crap

img.fark.net  Trump top fundraisers thought "drain the swamp" meant "build a desert"

img.fark.net  Pence pees pants worrying how much Trump will give away to Best Korea. Pence pees pants Pence pees pants Pens pee pants Pens peeps pamts Pens peep pans

img.fark.net  US has minted a shiny new celebratory coin to mark the summit meeting with Kim Jong-un. Reverse has image of unhatched chickens

img.fark.net  Growing sinkhole on White House lawn. Michael Cohen offers $130,000 to shut it up

img.fark.net  Federal judge rules Trump can't block users from his Twitter account. Wait, Trump has a Twitter account?

img.fark.net  Stoner asked therapist if he's got "the stuff"

img.fark.net  Looks like the Russians also hacked thousands of routers, reports Reuters

img.fark.net  Yet another powerful Republican says he is stepping down after his term

img.fark.net  Russians send team to Singapore for no particular reason


Business:

img.fark.net  Answer: The macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood

img.fark.net  Researchers find that 20% of cryptocurrency offerings may be secretly fraudulent, while the other 80% are pretty open about it

img.fark.net  J.C. Penney announces they will now have four CEOs, one for each customer

img.fark.net  Ikea recalls SLADDA bicycle due to defective CHÅYN that may cause OWCHEE

img.fark.net  The wealthy are hoarding $10 billion Bitcoin in bunkers around the world. Why you would build a bunker to store nothing is unclear


Discussion:

img.fark.net  Never confide in scissors. The best you can hope for in return is a cutting remark

img.fark.net  How to deal with road rage and make your commute easier, though it would be great if THE ASSHOLE IN THE PASSING LANE WOULD GO ABOVE 70 MPH WHICH IS THE POSTED SPEED LIMIT THE ONE ON THE RIGHT IS THE GAS PEDAL YOU ASSHOLE SONOFABIATCH
· · ·

4 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2018-05-29 11:47:40 AM  
David Cameron Paperpig
Youtube YxoflAw0Uvw
 
2018-05-29 12:01:34 PM  
"Paint on highway/Van Go" should be the quarterly winner even if it was last night and not last week. I'm still laughing about that one.
 
2018-05-29 12:39:17 PM  
What exactly do you mean by "doing lines with Peppa Pig"?  That can have a few different meanings
 
2018-05-29 02:32:05 PM  

1nsanilicious: What exactly do you mean by "doing lines with Peppa Pig"?  That can have a few different meanings


That was the point of the headline, and why it made it as one of the HotWs.

https://www.fark.com/comments/1002957​0

themarysue.comView Full Size
 
Displayed 4 of 4 comments


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report