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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-29 to Sat 2018-05-05
Posted by Blythe at 2018-05-08 12:02:07 PM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1160 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2018 at 12:02 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-29 to Sat 2018-05-05:  Mozambique to circumcise 100,000 men, recommends you turn down offers of cheap calamari for the foreseeable future  Do you drink alcohol? You're gonna die. In fact, you may be dead already. Hey, how are you reading this? Get out of here, zombie  Meth-head breaks into governor's mansion to alert him about "wild animals, possibly lions or cougars" on the streets. Surprisingly not a member of the species Homo floridus  A series of earthquakes under Kilauea volcano indicate a new eruption is possible. Peter and Bobby apologize and promise to return the Tiki  Scottish woman has rare disorder that causes her to vomit up to 30 times a day. Doctor advises her to just stop ordering the haggis  Naval officer hides camera in toilet. That's not how you record the captain's log  Central casting? Hi, we need a redneck guy caught speeding with a big bag of weed, he's got to be twenty but look 50. Anybody like that? Neck beard if you've got one  30 self-driving BMWs are being deployed on the Las Vegas Strip so people can be amazed at the sight of a BMW using its turn signal  Climb it control

Sports:  Jim Abbott gives Shaquem Griffin a hand for his NFL Draft selection  Guy sets Guinness World Record for largest amount of brass carried on a surfboard  Nazi wins women's Armageddon chess championship... And no, it's not what you think  Should the NBA ban players over 6'6"?  The NBA has asked Drake to stop cursing at games, has yet to intervene when Raptors choke at games

Geek:  I see you're cloning an extinct apex predator there. Seen any movies in the last 25 years?  April updates bring May downloads  If you butchered a rhinoceros with stone tools 700,000 years ago in the Philippines, archaeologists would like to talk to you  Yeah, fine, save the Earth, whatever. As long as I can get mammoth ribs. Do it already  "Look, did you check the break room fridge?"  Are you having trouble hearing these silent GIFs? Let us TURN UP THE VISUAL MOTION

Entertainment:  1. Prince is dead 2. One probably shouldn't eat stones. 3. I doubt the existence of Quinoa and Gluten  DC Comics announces a streaming service with original content that will be called "DC Universe" so be sure you know how to set your TV's brightness to max before watching  Cosby conviction sends a clear message, and that message is WHEEEERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM? And they said huh uh, we wanted eggs and milk and dad made us eat this, so I said "I dunnnooooooo"  Roman Polanski's lawyers say they were "blindsided" by the decision to expel him from the Academy of Motion Picture arts and Sciences, say it was forced on him, without any warning, and they were powerless to stop it  The penis mightier than the pen is  Our long national nightmare will continue for at least one more year

Politics:  President Leeroy Jenkins threatens government shutdown just before midterms if border security isn't funded. DO IT  Head of ICE iced, baby  Louisiana Secretary of State to resign amid allegations that he attempted to pinch the tail and/or suck the head of a female staffer  Nancy Pelosi hands the Republicans an early victory, says she doesn't plan on going anywhere  Cobb hits the showers before Flood takes the mound in relief  Former U.S. Attorney who originally hired James Comey as an Assistant U.S. Attorney calls Trump a liar. In other news, Trump begins search for new lead attorney  Rudy digs up  Your attention please. Now warming up #46, Mike Pence, #46  Devin Nunes stopped reading right there  Ever had an irresponsible child steal your credit card and go to the mall?

Business:  Workers claim Bain firings tied to age, medical conditions and the god-damned Batman  *DING* "You are now free to gloat about the cabin"  Molson Coors stock drops due to weak beer sales  Former husband of Sopranos' star convicted of

Discussion:  Is this prom dress gorgeous or offensive? Hey, at least we're not arguing about the color  Life Hacks: Can't afford a psychiatrist? For the price of a cross-country bus ticket, you can share your problems with whoever has the misfortune to sit next to you  You gain the power to predict/be forewarned of three events a year 24 hours in advance. Do you use this power to learn the outcome of sporting events and bet accordingly, or you use it to save lives by warning of tornado strikes and other disasters?
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2018-05-08 12:42:07 PM  
Nyseattitude Rules!    <--Best headline eva! ;)
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