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Putting on your robe and wizard hat, bad house elves, and J.A.I.L.-O.: these are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-22 to Sat 2018-04-28
Posted by Blythe at 2018-05-01 1:24:08 PM (15 comments) | Permalink

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2184 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2018 at 1:47 PM (50 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Thanks to all our submitters and TotalFark voters!  Here are your Headlines of the Week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-22 to Sat 2018-04-28:

img.fark.net  Maybe you should just stay indoors from now on

img.fark.net  England succumbs to Labour Party

img.fark.net  This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is someone else's

img.fark.net  Dobbe arrested for running over woman. Bad house-elf

img.fark.net  Worst. Bikini. Trim. Ever

img.fark.net  New app can now tell cannabis users how high they are. Tests range from measuring how much Cheetos dust is on your fingertips, to whether or not you laugh at Dane Cook performances

img.fark.net  Scientists find evidence that the Neandertals might have sailed the Mediterranean 130,000 years ago, possibly searching for a lost 'H'

img.fark.net  Today's lesson in the new new new common core math: Babies-R-Us + voodoo + evils spirits + box cutter = Florida

img.fark.net  A total of four barrels containing radioactive sludge at a nuclear site were found to have ruptured, according to spokesman Simpson. SIMPSON?

img.fark.net  Whoever left Grandma at Whole Foods 2-3 years ago, please claim her before they throw her out

img.fark.net  We're all enjoying our visit to the Sunshine State - OMG there's a guy with a machete

img.fark.net  Scientists discover 15,000-year-old giant sloth footprints in southern New Mexico. It could be all the way up to Albuquerque by now

img.fark.net  Cosby Verdict: J. A. I. L. - O

img.fark.net  Remember, when rubbing vigorously... try not to shoot one off in your hand

img.fark.net  Police looking for a connection between two heads found 150 miles away, fear the work of separatists

img.fark.net  Missing 12-year-old safely located in Rifle. Man, that's one skinny kid

img.fark.net  Only 1 out of every 59 kids in America is fully vaccinated


Sports:

img.fark.net  Matt Kenseth is not done wrecking Joey Logano

img.fark.net  Tom Brady says he'll be back to piss off the rest of the NFL for at least one more season

img.fark.net  PGA Tour is making a deal to host a tournament in Detroit next year. Grounds crew to be called Mow Town

img.fark.net  Yu's on 2nd. What? No, Yu


Geek:

img.fark.net  Physics, thread

img.fark.net  Put on your robe and wizard hat

img.fark.net  'Incognito mode' doesn't actually mean you are fully incognito. Next you're going to tell me the 'turbo button' doesn't actually mean your computer goes into turbo speed

img.fark.net  Low-dose hyaluronidase can remove hyaluronic acid fillers. As if this wasn't already common knowledge

img.fark.net  Three new cotton projects head into space. They expect good results because cotton breathes so well


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Star Trek found to violate Canadian TV's Prime Directive

img.fark.net  The Rock's girlfriend has had a pebble

img.fark.net  Stormy Daniels releases her first porn video since coming public about affair with Trump, sadly not titled "On the President's Staff" (NSFW content on page)

img.fark.net  Allison Mack's safe word is "five million dollars"

img.fark.net  Pikachu outbreak in Yokahama. Probably should see the doctor about getting something to clear that up

img.fark.net  Producer Paul Junger-Witt gone. Thank you for being a friend. Confused? You won't be after reading his obit


Politics:

img.fark.net  What is the strategy for the GOP midterms? They are going with one of the classics

img.fark.net  Canadian female Trump fans? That don't impress me much

img.fark.net  Brave Sir Milo retreated from NYC bar

img.fark.net  If you give a Nazi $5k he'll happily endorse you. Sorry, I mean "pay a speaking fee to Trump friend Sebastian Gorka"

img.fark.net  All shell breaks loose as McConnell panics

img.fark.net  Rudy Giuliani's plan to end the Russia probe just collapsed, becoming the third thing to crumble on his watch due to lack of shared intelligence

img.fark.net  Trump's MD Ronny Jackson advocates withdrawal method

img.fark.net  Setti drops out of governor's race, will continue search for extraterrestrials

img.fark.net  Democratic Super PAC donates to Republican Primary Candidate to help Democratic Joe Manchin keep his seat, on today's episode of "What? Why? Don't do that"

img.fark.net  The Trump administration is like roman candles set off in a phone booth

img.fark.net  But Russia's emails (that don't look good for Donald Trump Jr)


Business:

img.fark.net  Alaska Airlines will require a doctor's note for emotional support animals, and will no longer allow "amphibians, goats and animals with hooves, tusks or horns." So traveling with an emotional support crocodile or lobster is still possible, in theory

img.fark.net  Overstock creates an ICO so you can buy a frankencycle that will never exist. The Aristocryptos

img.fark.net  Ford announces that they will only sell two cars in all their dealerships next year. That doesn't seem like a lot of cars

img.fark.net  Targeted marketing superfail

img.fark.net  T-Mobile and Sprint, the "Will-they-won't-they" of the mobile world, are dating again


Discussion:

img.fark.net  Share any unique superstitions you may have here, no matter how odd they may be

img.fark.net  Having no other important stories to report on, The Guardian tackles the tough questions like: "Is it weird to eat the same sandwich for lunch every day?"
· · ·

15 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2018-05-01 01:56:39 PM  
If that Cosby conviction headline isn't in the running for HOTY...then we failed FARK.
 
2018-05-01 02:01:33 PM  

Rwa2play: If that Cosby conviction headline isn't in the running for HOTY...then we failed FARK.


Indeed, DijitalDharma deserves mad props for that!
 
2018-05-01 02:03:14 PM  

blodyholy: Rwa2play: If that Cosby conviction headline isn't in the running for HOTY...then we failed FARK.

Indeed, DijitalDharma deserves mad props for that!


Thanks for the love! ❤
 
2018-05-01 02:04:44 PM  
Are you there, baby? I think it's getting hard now.
 
2018-05-01 02:05:59 PM  

DijitalDharma: blodyholy: Rwa2play: If that Cosby conviction headline isn't in the running for HOTY...then we failed FARK.

Indeed, DijitalDharma deserves mad props for that!

Thanks for the love! ❤


You deserve it - that was BEYOND inspired.
 
2018-05-01 02:07:19 PM  
Repeat.
 
2018-05-01 02:07:45 PM  

Resident Muslim: Repeat.


Dammit, the other thread was removed.
 
2018-05-01 02:20:41 PM  
The JAIL-O meme had been spreading around Reddit for quite a while before that headline. >.<
 
2018-05-01 02:23:51 PM  

Myria: The JAIL-O meme had been spreading around Reddit for quite a while before that headline. >.<


Cool. I don't use Reddit. Also, it's supposed to be J.A.I.L.- O -- earworming to the MAXXXX
 
2018-05-01 02:28:29 PM  

damonm: DijitalDharma: blodyholy: Rwa2play: If that Cosby conviction headline isn't in the running for HOTY...then we failed FARK.

Indeed, DijitalDharma deserves mad props for that!

Thanks for the love! ❤

You deserve it - that was BEYOND inspired.


Thanks! I just heard the jingle in my brain space and tippy typed away! Woo! Definitely enjoying the feels of Farkers diggin' it. Soon I'll have to go back to my feudalist life of poorly photoshopping memes of Devin Grapefruit Nunes. But for now, I will remove Ps from my dock and bask in the glow of this great honor.
 
2018-05-01 02:39:04 PM  
Darn.  I missed my chance to get a Doberman Shepard.
 
2018-05-01 03:29:02 PM  
*High fives at Dijital
 
2018-05-01 03:57:38 PM  

Markoff_Cheney: *High fives at Dijital


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-01 08:37:14 PM  
I've been here like 15 years, "Put on your Robe and Wizard Hat" is my first green. Wasn't expecting to make headlines of the week. Thanks all.
 
2018-05-02 09:36:29 AM  

moos: I've been here like 15 years, "Put on your Robe and Wizard Hat" is my first green. Wasn't expecting to make headlines of the week. Thanks all.


Congratulations 🎊🎈🍾😊
 
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