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What do with a body discovered on Good Friday, male sex robots, and a Kindergarten Cop health update. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-03-25 to Sat 2018-03-31
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2018-04-03 10:30:59 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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384 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Apr 2018 at 10:48 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back for another edition of Fark's Headline of the Week, where our TotalFarkers decide their favorite greenlit headlines for the past week. If you'd like to get in on the voting, be sure to sign up for TotalFark. For tips on how to write headlines that will better catch the eye of the admins, check out our Submitting Guide.  And remember that we get the fewest submissions on weekends, so links posted on Saturday or Sunday, especially in the early mornings, have a better chance of being greenlit.

To the headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-03-25 to Sat 2018-03-31:  Police investigate $1,300 lingerie theft from Victoria's Secret. Given slip but no bust so far  McDonald's French fries spilled over California freeway after truck overturns. CHiPs immediately present at accident site  Traffic in front of children's dance studio like "Frogger with humans." It ain't really the same thing, though. You don't use a joystick to actually move around. Unless you're hit by a car  Chinese police release underground bishop, who immediately moved in a diagonal direction to safety  ♪ You tell a lie about a coconut, it get you locked up ♪  If you're the thief that stole the ashes of a police officer from his widow, be aware that you've urned the ire of the police  It's not a tumor  Long Island judge steals neighbor's dirty underwear, leads police on brief chase. Will most likely be suspendered. Still refuses to reveal what Step Two is  Dead man found in woods today. Authorities will wait until Sunday to see how this plays out  The homeless situation is now grave

Sports:  Kraft discounts any discord in Patriots organization. Friction is 20% off, and squabbling is buy one, get one free  Hue Jackson keeps comparing people to the Pied Piper, The Wolverine  Christ has risen. To the AA affiliate in Binghamton

Geek:  Shell tells C cells cap the c floor  "Woman living with debilitating jerk had 15 drinks a night to cope." Strangely enough, this is not about an average married couple  Do we need male sex robots telling jokes? Would they just drone on?

Entertainment:  Kate Bush's clifftop home could go running off that hill  Trump calls Roseanne about her huge ratings. DO NOT CONGRATULATE  Helen Hunt gives update on 'Mad about You' reboot. Although most viewers were satisfied when the network gave it the boot the first time

Politics:  Republican House candidate wants to impose an 8pm curfew for all DC-based politicians because "nothing good happens after 8pm." You know...she may have a point  Alex Jones hits the meth pipe during commercial break. Phlegm at 11  Fox "News" host mocks Parkland survivor/activist David Hogg for being rejected by four colleges. Boss Hogg posts host's top 12 advertisers. Them Fox boys is gettin' themselves into a whole heap of trouble. Again. Still

Business:  Waymo to buy 20,000 Jaguars for robotic ride-hailing service. "Instead of transportation, received jungle cat. Would not hail again"  Strip club made famous as the Bada Bing Club on 'The Sopranos,' is back in business after being closed down because of alleg  Dat ass
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2018-04-03 10:44:49 AM  
Woop Woop! I got a headline.
2018-04-03 12:28:45 PM  
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