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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-02-04 to Sat 2018-02-10
Posted by Blythe at 2018-02-13 1:36:39 PM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1320 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2018 at 1:36 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-02-04 to Sat 2018-02-10:  Am-Off-Trak  Theme park changing the name of 'Rebel Yell' roller coaster over Confederate sensitivities. While some might say this goes too far, others cried more, more, more  Lexus crashes into Wells Fargo branch resulting in two minor injuries, five new accounts opened  Errant tsunami warning issued for Manhattan, much of East Coast. Can't believe the Hawaii missile guy got a new job already  Six people die while whale watching. Where is your pod now?  Gaza is down to just ten days of emergency fuel. I told ya we should have put more than five bucks in  There's a bipartisan 2-year spending deal in the Senate. It's up to the House or the President to prevent government from working like normal  Florida man arrested for putting poison in Yum Yum Sauce, after surveillance video proved that the sauce was a lye  Lollipop man banned for high-fives. Man, those guild rules are strict  First human eggs grown in laboratory. Scientists nervous, afraid their research will be poached  It's time we compiled a list of the most Canadian crimes ever  Woman wins lawsuit over penis cake. Cake  Reminder: Your car will depreciate rapidly the moment it leaves the Earth's atmosphere  Police seize 185 pounds of vacuum-sealed marijuana. All 85 pounds are being kept at the state police barracks until the suspect can be arraigned for the 8.5 pounds of the substance  Wichita boy getting a lot of cabbage for a big cabbage? It's Cole's Law

Sports:  Browns' 2018 draft to be (a) amazingly good (b) drunkenly made (c) why not both?  Police report from Gronk burglary shows he owned a lot of ██████████ and a big pile of ██████████. Also, lives with two other dudes  Why Jo$h McDaniel$ decided to $tay with the Patriot$  Fan billed $125 for seat he took home after the Super Bowl. For that kind of cash he could have bought two more beers during the game  The Cavs no longer need IT support  Oregon golf course offers goats as caddies. I kid you not

Geek:  Extragalactic exoplanets, excellent  Attack of the clones, crayfish edition  Take solace in knowing that you will probably never be as wrong about something as this guy was  Dinosaurs may have been too successful, and run afoul of the "shoe event horizon" long before the Chicxulub asteroid  Scientists reconstruct "Cheddar Man," the first modern Briton; plan to display him at the county fair  Not to make light of a dark matter, but we need to talk about 3.5 keV  Wow. We'll have enough salt to last forever

Entertainment:  It's gonna take a lot to drag you away from this song that was #1 on this day thirty-five years ago; it's something that a hundred men or more could never do  You can call him Al-most retired  While it seems as if we've been Together Forever with Rick Astley, he's only 52 today, so wish him a happy birthday and keep singing  In the tough world of modelling, 22-year old Gigi Hadid is already considered past it, as here she is, already covered in Moss  Think "Game of Thrones: Battle of the Bastards" but with lightsabers and aliens  London calling, at the top of the dial. It's International Clash Day  Mr. Holland's Gropus  Police now say Robert Wagner's story about Natalie Wood's death 'doesn't add up'. Apparently the math on a statement from an 87 year old about something that happened 37 years ago will never balance out correctly  Chelsea Handler says her goal in 2018 is to voluntarily sleep with a Republican. Apparently if you sleep with the right one, it could net you $130,000  Jimmy Buffett is no longer wasted away in Margaritaville but, instead, he's Broadway moguling in New York  Yo, dawg, I heard you like the Alamo. So we're showing The Alamo at the Alamo so you can remember the Alamo while you remember the Alamo

Politics:  The Justice Department goes to court to protect the authority of Robert Mueller. Wait...what? We're through the looking glass, down the rabbit hole, off the scoreboard, over the backboard, nothing but net  "Kennedy may be Democrats' best hope" This is not a repeat from 1960, '68, or '80  Mansplainception  Canada confronts, cornholes, colonial Cornwallis  The Assangehog saw his warrant upheld, which means 6 more weeks of hiding in the embassy  In corruption trial, Howe admits he stole money from former law partners Dewey and Cheatem  Even Skynet has turned on Trump  Flint has a 75% drop in third-grade reading proficiency from 2013 to 2017. You could say it's dropping like a lead weight in water  Nunes (R-Stable Genius): Fine, the FBI Didn't Lie, But Its Font Was Too Small  In the wake of their smash hit #releasethememo, Russia's troll factories are releasing a slew of follow-up singles #fisagate, #obamadeepstate, #wethepeopledemandjustice, #thememorevealsthecoup and even #obamaslegacyisobamagate  Did...did Trump just threaten the stock market?  Trump's lawyers were overheard saying, "You can do that??"  ♬ Matchmaker, matchmaker. Make me a match. Collude with the Russians. Launder some cash. ♬  Senator Corker to oppose bipartisan budget deal over concerns that he does not personally profit  Trump announces his pick to be the new IRS Commissioner and, surprising many political observers, it's NOT "That weird Sovereign Citizen guy who hangs out at the used bookstore and goes on and on about how the 16th amendment was illegally ratified"  "Preventing Allocation of Resources for Absurd Defense Expenditures" Act  US adopts the "it was like that when we got here" excuse and refuses to pay anything for Iraqi reconstruction  Chuck Schumer shoots himself in foot, forgot he wanted military parade in 2014. President Trump says tanks a lot  White House denying Kelly has offered to resign, stumbling right into an oddly specific denial trope  The White House apparently has more wife beaters than a monster truck rally

Business:  Major banks block bitcoin sales via credit cards, stating "if somebody's going to steal your money, it's going to be us"  Los Angeles decides that the cable company monopoly model would be a great way to handle basic sanitation services. It works out exactly as you would expect  Guess who is now looking into new sexual assault allegations? Come on, Guess

Discussion:  Super Bowl LII thread #4. Yes, four. Ahh ahh ahh, four  Look, I'm not watching combat juggling until steroids are mandatory  What if Philly had a parade, and free beer was offered? I'm afraid we'll find out. Question: Despite being mid-day and windchill in the 20s, should a Fark Party be declared?  "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." ― E.L. Doctorow. Hah, that's not what the voices in my head say. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, socially acceptable edition  All right, it's time to get serious in our discussion of the Winter Olympics. I say we should bring back compulsory figures and eliminate free skating. Who's with me?
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