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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-11-19 to Sat 2017-11-25
Posted by Blythe at 2017-11-27 12:13:40 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

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1312 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2017 at 12:16 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thank you to our amazing submitters and our TotalFark voters!  We love all our submissions, but we especially love our Headlines of the Week.  These are the headlines that make us laugh, make us marvel at creativity, and make us look at a subject in a new or sideways way.  The kind of headline you can share with anyone and say *this* is Fark.

Here are your Headlines of the Week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-11-19 to Sat 2017-11-25:  Charles Manson released from life sentence on a technicality  How to cook Thanksgiving dinner in a microwave. Step one: abandon all pretense of shame or dignity  God is forming a really weird band this week  "Manus Island: PNG police move into detention centre and tell refugees to leave." No worries, they'll be done in a GIF  Woman who allegedly sent explosive devices to Pres. Obama and Texas Governor Greg Abbott was arrested after her cat's hair was found on the devices. It's as yet unclear what her or the cat's motive was  Woman tricked into buying potatoes she thought was an iPhone. Available on Spudify. She found it on Mashable. Check it out on YouTuber. iPhone? More like an EyePhone. I think I'm done  Breaking the news to someone that their partner has been killed in an accident is an issue that should be handled with the utmost care and delicacy. Or leave a voicemail. Whatever  Ah, Paris. City of light. Wonderful museums, impressive monuments, roaming apex predators, elegant cuisine... hold, on  Michigan judge throws out marijuana butter case. Well, that's just great. Now where are people supposed to store their marijuana butter?

Sports:  Happy Birthday Jim  If all 46 of these scenarios happen, the 0-10 Cleveland Browns will make the playoffs  Jay Cutler finally goes into concussion protocol after years of teasing  "Hey, I got a great idea. How about this: during Sunday's game, beer is free until the Packers score. What could possibly go wrong?"  And we have a new contender for Worst Play of the Year, college football edition

Geek:  Scientist puts his dog on editorial boards of seven predatory journals as proof of their negligence. Your dog wants added controls in figure 3 and a more thorough statistical analysis of the data in table 1  "The Nine Circles of Linguistic Transgression Hell." Ducking auto cat rectal  Dildo shaped asteroid heading straight for Uranus  British dental pioneer Jimmy Steele dies; was noted for his groundbreaking new report on astounding toothbrush technology widely used elsewhere in Europe  Why scientific proof is really just a myth. Here comes the... err, science  Dark humor may be radioactive at some jobs, but Finnish nuclear workers use it to avoid a personal meltdown and eliminate the waste of toxic work relationships. Does it work? Isotope so

Entertainment:  Many people have a mental list of people they'd like to have shut up and go away. Not many people actually write down the names on a list. But (thankfully) not many people are Harvey Weinstein  R-R-R-R-R-RIP M-M-M-Mel Tillis  Ora freezes ova

Politics:  State Dept. admits morale is low, but points out it's just a handful of people who are complaining. The handful that are left at the State Dept. to be exact, but that's just quibbling  Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin says he had no idea that the now-viral "Bond villian" photo, that he posed for, with his wife, for an AP photographer, would be made public  The category is "Family Values" and the $400 clue, this former GOP state senator and Trump campaign coordinator is pleading guilty to child sex trafficking. Remember to phrase your outrage in the form of a question  'Ignores party deadline' or 'is 93 years old'?  HPA spending increased in 2016 by $100 MILLION in pro-Trump push. "HPA"? That should say "NRA". Weird how my keyboard suddenly switched to Cyrillic  78% of Utahans want Orrin Hatch to retire, but 100% of Orrin Hatches want Orrin Hatch to run for reelection  37 out of 38 economists surveyed agree that GOP tax reform will grow the national debt. The 38th differed, saying it would obvious the plan would growl the notional dirt  President Trump refuses offer to be Time Magazine's Person of the Year, notes he already has enough fake covers  Trump back, what's that sound / Here she comes, full blast and top down / Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue / Model citizen, zero discipline  Drew Curtis called to say that subby was PROBABLY going to be named "Farker of the Year," like last year, but he would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. Subby said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway

Business:  Apparently we are in a bubble right now: An everything bubble. Even the bubble prediction market is a bubble. BUBBLES  Vermont town says they're running out of cemetery plots. Mayor says it's a grave shortage  Wanted: Pole installer for AT&T. Immediate opening

Discussion:  Why I wish I drank more  Bergevin called to say Subby was PROBABLY going to be named Captain of the Canadiens before tonight's games (starting at 7pm EST) but I'd have to agree to an interview in French & play centre. I said probably is no good, poured another goonjuice
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3 Comments     (+0 »)
2017-11-27 12:27:43 PM  
How do we nominate "called to say Subby was PROBABLY" as a meme headline?  It was used well this week, including the Sunday football thread.
2017-11-27 12:33:57 PM  

foo monkey: How do we nominate "called to say Subby was PROBABLY" as a meme headline?  It was used well this week, including the Sunday football thread.

2017-11-27 12:36:21 PM  

vudukungfu: foo monkey: How do we nominate "called to say Subby was PROBABLY" as a meme headline?  It was used well this week, including the Sunday football thread.


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