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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-11-05 to Sat 2017-11-11
Posted by Blythe at 2017-11-14 12:20:37 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1190 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2017 at 12:14 PM (34 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thank you submitters for another fun week, and thank you TotalFark voters for voting the funniest headlines to the top!

Every week, we take the top voted funny headlines for Headline of the Week, and share some of our favorite runners-up in the NotNewsletter.  We love all our green lights, and to make it to Headline of the Week it needs to be funny, creative, smart, look at a story sideways - the kind of headline that you can share with anyone and say *this* is Fark.

Check out the NotNewsletter for the extra headlines that we thought deserved a second look!  And here check out the top voted winners in Headline of the Week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-11-05 to Sat 2017-11-11:

img.fark.net  Atlantis has been found. In the Pacific. Wouldn't that make it Pacificis? This is the Daily Mail, so I now doubt Atlantis even exists

img.fark.net  •_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) - So how's the weather? (⋋▂⋌) - *#$%@# that's not funny anymore you %@#*#$ dick

img.fark.net  Citizens of Tatarstan demand that Tatar language classes for Tatar tots be mandatory in Tatar schools

img.fark.net  Southwest flies themed planes like Shamu, penguins, Lone Star, and now, Icarus

img.fark.net  I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter... WITHOUT ANY F***ING INFRASTRUCTURE

img.fark.net  Transgender woman beats senior citizen

img.fark.net  Nothing will prepare you for...MORTAL TOMKATS

img.fark.net  Liberian refugee elected mayor of Helena, Montana, campaigned for stricter enforcement of overdue fees

img.fark.net  Even after checking their sources, USA Today Stihl got it wrong

img.fark.net  Luckily, I only plan on staying in 79 Cuban hotels

img.fark.net  )-:

img.fark.net  Codger slaps dodger


img.fark.net  Roy Halladay traded to the Angels

img.fark.net  Browns WR Josh Gordon says he drank or used drugs before every game. Browns fans: Welcome to our world

img.fark.net  Bob Costas claims football destroys people's brains, posits effects on players may be even worse

img.fark.net  Former FIFA President accused of holding on to Hope


img.fark.net  Problems down under

img.fark.net  Cases of mumps are on the rise even among the immunized, signalling a victory in the war on herd immunity

img.fark.net  This mushroom has 20,000 different genders and can mate with any other species. Sounds like a fungi

img.fark.net  Scientists discover Sha Ka Ree

img.fark.net  Woman meets man wearing dead husband's face. Maybe next time just wear a skirt, you weirdo


img.fark.net  Every time Bono claps his hands, he secretly invests in an overseas tax haven

img.fark.net  Looks like Call of Duty didn't ask Humvee about using all those Humvees in Call of Duty

img.fark.net  The Rock may join the cast of Career Suicide Squad 2


img.fark.net  Dateline, November 5, 2017: Antifa has struck, and white people everywhere are cowering in their Starbucks, mowing their lawns, watching football. We should have LISTENED


img.fark.net  Atlas Shrubbed

img.fark.net  Trump says that the North Korea situation will 'all work out because it always works out. It has to work out.", not realizing he's the one who has to work it out. We're doomed

img.fark.net  Trump orders CIA chief to investigate both sides in Russia hacking investigation. This is the dumbest timeline

img.fark.net  That's a nice graduate education you have there. It'd be a shame if someone taxed it

img.fark.net  One selfish blowhard calls another selfish blowhard a selfish blowhard. Recursive loop detected

img.fark.net  Rep. Bob Goodlatte will not seek re-election in 2018. This opens up a key seat for his rival, Mike Badespresso

img.fark.net  Roy Moore's Senate office to display the Nine Commandments

img.fark.net  Yesterday, Trump's personal bodyguard testified to Congress that during the 2013 Moscow visit, and unnamed Russian offered to send 5 women to Trump's room, and that both laughed at the idea until they pissed themselves

img.fark.net  Man known for barging in on half-naked teens in beauty pageant dressing rooms confident that Roy Moore will "do the right thing" if allegations of underage sexual harassment are true. Followup tag whips out its wang and beats Unlikely tag with it

img.fark.net  "If you cross the president, if you disagree with the president in public, the reality of his reality show is you're fired," said the wheat farmer with a leopard sized bite in his face

img.fark.net  Robert Mueller spins the wheel of treason, lands on Dana Rohrabacher and his 2016 meeting with General Flynn

img.fark.net  National Republican Senatorial Committee dumps Moore. Probably for someone younger

img.fark.net  Well, this is an unfortunate typo


img.fark.net  Smell that? You smell that? Retail meltdown, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of retail Apocalypse in the morning

img.fark.net  Amazon to sell diapers under the Mama Bear brand. Let me guess, Sarah Palin will promote them and they'll already come full of shiat

img.fark.net  The poorest 50% in the US has less money than the top 3. No, not the top 3%


img.fark.net  I clicked on this link of the best pizza in New York and it just said "Go to Chicago"

img.fark.net  Tropical Storm Banana

img.fark.net  Tonight, on Gotham, It's fight club in the Narrows and Gordon is up for a promotion. (FOX 8pm EST) Later, on Arrow, Slade Wilson's son has been kidnapped and he needs the keys to the zipline network. Meanwhile, Vigilante returns to Star City (CW 9pm EST)

img.fark.net  Did you remember to salt your coffee this morning? No? What are you, some kind of sociopath?
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