Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-11-05 to Sat 2017-11-11
Posted by Blythe at 2017-11-14 12:20:37 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

1264 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2017 at 12:14 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thank you submitters for another fun week, and thank you TotalFark voters for voting the funniest headlines to the top!

Every week, we take the top voted funny headlines for Headline of the Week, and share some of our favorite runners-up in the NotNewsletter.  We love all our green lights, and to make it to Headline of the Week it needs to be funny, creative, smart, look at a story sideways - the kind of headline that you can share with anyone and say *this* is Fark.

Check out the NotNewsletter for the extra headlines that we thought deserved a second look!  And here check out the top voted winners in Headline of the Week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-11-05 to Sat 2017-11-11:  Atlantis has been found. In the Pacific. Wouldn't that make it Pacificis? This is the Daily Mail, so I now doubt Atlantis even exists  •_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) - So how's the weather? (⋋▂⋌) - *#$%@# that's not funny anymore you %@#*#$ dick  Citizens of Tatarstan demand that Tatar language classes for Tatar tots be mandatory in Tatar schools  Southwest flies themed planes like Shamu, penguins, Lone Star, and now, Icarus  I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter... WITHOUT ANY F***ING INFRASTRUCTURE  Transgender woman beats senior citizen  Nothing will prepare you for...MORTAL TOMKATS  Liberian refugee elected mayor of Helena, Montana, campaigned for stricter enforcement of overdue fees  Even after checking their sources, USA Today Stihl got it wrong  Luckily, I only plan on staying in 79 Cuban hotels  )-:  Codger slaps dodger

Sports:  Roy Halladay traded to the Angels  Browns WR Josh Gordon says he drank or used drugs before every game. Browns fans: Welcome to our world  Bob Costas claims football destroys people's brains, posits effects on players may be even worse  Former FIFA President accused of holding on to Hope

Geek:  Problems down under  Cases of mumps are on the rise even among the immunized, signalling a victory in the war on herd immunity  This mushroom has 20,000 different genders and can mate with any other species. Sounds like a fungi  Scientists discover Sha Ka Ree  Woman meets man wearing dead husband's face. Maybe next time just wear a skirt, you weirdo

Entertainment:  Every time Bono claps his hands, he secretly invests in an overseas tax haven  Looks like Call of Duty didn't ask Humvee about using all those Humvees in Call of Duty  The Rock may join the cast of Career Suicide Squad 2

Politics:  Dateline, November 5, 2017: Antifa has struck, and white people everywhere are cowering in their Starbucks, mowing their lawns, watching football. We should have LISTENED  Does Howard Dean think Kushner will be indicted for money laundering? YEAAAAAAAAAH. AND THEN ON TO IVANKA, THEN ERIC, THEN DONALD JUNIOR, AND THEN WE'LL GO ALL THE WAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH  Atlas Shrubbed  Trump says that the North Korea situation will 'all work out because it always works out. It has to work out.", not realizing he's the one who has to work it out. We're doomed  Trump orders CIA chief to investigate both sides in Russia hacking investigation. This is the dumbest timeline  That's a nice graduate education you have there. It'd be a shame if someone taxed it  One selfish blowhard calls another selfish blowhard a selfish blowhard. Recursive loop detected  Rep. Bob Goodlatte will not seek re-election in 2018. This opens up a key seat for his rival, Mike Badespresso  Roy Moore's Senate office to display the Nine Commandments  Yesterday, Trump's personal bodyguard testified to Congress that during the 2013 Moscow visit, and unnamed Russian offered to send 5 women to Trump's room, and that both laughed at the idea until they pissed themselves  Man known for barging in on half-naked teens in beauty pageant dressing rooms confident that Roy Moore will "do the right thing" if allegations of underage sexual harassment are true. Followup tag whips out its wang and beats Unlikely tag with it  "If you cross the president, if you disagree with the president in public, the reality of his reality show is you're fired," said the wheat farmer with a leopard sized bite in his face  Robert Mueller spins the wheel of treason, lands on Dana Rohrabacher and his 2016 meeting with General Flynn  National Republican Senatorial Committee dumps Moore. Probably for someone younger  Well, this is an unfortunate typo

Business:  Smell that? You smell that? Retail meltdown, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of retail Apocalypse in the morning  Amazon to sell diapers under the Mama Bear brand. Let me guess, Sarah Palin will promote them and they'll already come full of shiat  The poorest 50% in the US has less money than the top 3. No, not the top 3%

Discussion:  I clicked on this link of the best pizza in New York and it just said "Go to Chicago"  Tropical Storm Banana  Tonight, on Gotham, It's fight club in the Narrows and Gordon is up for a promotion. (FOX 8pm EST) Later, on Arrow, Slade Wilson's son has been kidnapped and he needs the keys to the zipline network. Meanwhile, Vigilante returns to Star City (CW 9pm EST)  Did you remember to salt your coffee this morning? No? What are you, some kind of sociopath?
· · ·

0 Comments     (+0 »)
Displayed 0 of 0 comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.