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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-29 to Sat 2017-11-04
Posted by Blythe at 2017-11-06 11:05:51 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1144 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2017 at 11:05 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Thank you thank you to our great submitters and to our TotalFark voters for helping us make Headline of the Week the awesome place it is!

We love all our submissions and headline but Headline of the Week is where we showcase the top funny vote-getters.  Headline of the Week is for those headlines that make you laugh, make you take a double-take because they're so clever, and / or look at the subject in such a unique way that you can share it with your co-worker, your classmate, your boss, your spouse - and say *this* is Fark.

For our Headlines of the Week we usually take the top voted ten funny, Fark-worthy headlines in Main and Politics, the top three in Sports, Geek, and Entertainment, and six in Discussion - three of the multi-sentence type and three of the standard one-line headline.  Some weeks, like this one, we have so many great, top-vote getters that we take extra here and there.   For the NotNewsletter we take it even further, there are so many headlines that we love that just need a few extra votes, so we're showcasing them here - and encouraging you that if you think these kinds of headlines deserved to be in the top, make sure you vote so your favorites really do make it to the top!

Here are your Headlines of the Week picks!  And check out the NotNewsletter for more great headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-29 to Sat 2017-11-04:

img.fark.net  ♫ I wish I was in / Tijuana / Eating barbecued iguana ♬

img.fark.net  One... two... three. Three former Trump officials arrested in the Mueller probe. Ah-ah-ah (Arrest Day discussion thread 2)

img.fark.net  Plans to name German high speed train after Anne Frank cause uproar, likely due to people worried about it disappearing somewhere in the Pacific Ocean

img.fark.net  500 years ago today, Martin Luther had a dream

img.fark.net  "Man critical after bystander pulls him from river". You would think he could show at least a little appreciation for that

img.fark.net  Legendary mountain climber Taylor Swift dies at 94

img.fark.net  What's poppin' off the top of Papadopoulos' esophagus is rockin' this metropolis

img.fark.net  Nurse delivers own baby in car outside hospital where she works. Man what does she know about that hospital that we don't?

img.fark.net  California family found safe in the jungle after being kidnapped by Brazilian pirates. Global temperatures seen plummeting

img.fark.net  Mark Cuban caught in dragnet

img.fark.net  James Taylor arrested for walking down a country road to meet a teen for sex, explains that he's seen lonely times when he could not find a friend

img.fark.net  One person escapes as home explodes in Sultan. Man, if they'd had a swing, they'd really have been in dire straits

img.fark.net  AWOL reigning champion Bowe Bergdahl avoids prison

img.fark.net  I guess if you're Barney Miller, you're allowed to keep a rental car for 30 months past its return date

img.fark.net  Silent monks granted permission to convert 19th century monastery to brewery. When reached for comment they responded "__________" and "_______"


Sports:

img.fark.net  Former President George W. Bush throws first pitch at Game 5 of World Series, surprising onlookers by missing the field entirely and landing in Iraq instead

img.fark.net  Dolphins trade Jay Ajayi to Eagles for a cheesesteak, batteries and a shellshocked Santa

img.fark.net  Colin Kaepernick's lawyer says he will be signed in next 10 days. The autographed quarterback will subsequently be put up for auction at Sotheby's

img.fark.net  The sports gods giveth, the sports gods taketh away: DeShaun DeKnee DeStroyed

img.fark.net  Chariots of Fark


Geek:

img.fark.net  Why do lithium-ion batteries explode? I dunno, let's call the linear accelerator people at SLAC to hold our beer while we cryo-freeze one and see what happens

img.fark.net  Yes

img.fark.net  Scientists discover hidden chamber in Egypt's Great Pyramid, barely avoid giant rolling ball and dart traps

img.fark.net  Stephen Hawking says robots will replace humans completely, possibly in that creepy mechanical voice of his

img.fark.net  Physicists have finally narrowed down the speed of gravity. Read and C for yourself


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Production on House of Cards is falling like some kind of analogy

img.fark.net  Netflix's next original film will be "Tau", a movie about an evil "smart house". Angry math nerds already demanding the movie's name be changed to "2π"

img.fark.net  Actress Ellen Barkin scares away burglar from Manhattan home. Which once again shows that criminals will run when they hear Barkin


Politics:

img.fark.net  Catalonia's fired leadership shows back up for work after deciding to go Full Costanza

img.fark.net  Louisiana Supreme Court, who are apparently BIG comma aficionados, rule that when a suspect said to cops "just give me a lawyer dog" it wasn't clear whether he was invoking his right to counsel or thought he was in a Disney movie with talking animals

img.fark.net  Brave Sen Grassley ran away, when Russia reared its ugly head, he bravely tripped on flags and fled

img.fark.net  Everyone but US seems to realize it's time to stop watching Nero perform and get down to business. It isn't a little grease fire on the other side of town anymore

img.fark.net  John Kelly: Set Deflector Shields To Full Derp

img.fark.net  Better collusion. Better relations. Papadopoulos

img.fark.net  "The Witch-King of Angmar was an extremely minor cog within the Ringwraith organization and has never had, nor currently has, a relationship with Lord Sauron"

img.fark.net  Manafort has three passports, a couple of visas, and we don't even know his real name

img.fark.net  DONE: Let you down: ✓ Run around: ✓ Make you cry: ✓ Tell a lie: ✓ Hurt you: ✓ TO DO: Give up, Say goodbye and desert you


Business:

img.fark.net  One week after a declared opioid crisis, FDA panel approves an opioid addiction drug by a vote of 18-1. Lone holdout says it can't keep up with the joneses

img.fark.net  Yellen: "I SAID, RATES WILL NOT CHANGE"

img.fark.net  Twill be the night before Christmas, and all through the factory, workers will toil to keep accounts satisfactory. The stock market is charmed by Musk's promises' glare, but fears that St. Bankruptcy soon will be there


Discussion:

img.fark.net  Who could it be now? Mueller is knocking on Trump's door with indictments. Who could it be now that's in trouble when the indictments are unsealed? Who could it be now? It's your waiting for the unsealing of the Mueller indictment thread

img.fark.net  SpaceX launches a comsat to GTO with a drone ship landing today. Satellite will be powerful enough to stream every K-Pop song simultaneously. Window opens at 3:34pm ET, webcast starts about 15 minutes prior

img.fark.net  "That whole "Scotch and Canadian is 'whisky' and Irish and American is 'whiskey'" thing is tedious, persnickety, ahistorical BS"

img.fark.net  Is there anything more troubling than a father-son discussion?

img.fark.net  If you take on me, take on me, take me on, take on me but I'll be gone in a day or two...what exactly, if anything, did we accomplish? Seems like a real waste of time
· · ·

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