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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-08 to Sat 2017-10-14
Posted by Blythe at 2017-10-16 12:13:39 PM (6 comments) | Permalink

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1252 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Oct 2017 at 12:15 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Last week's Fark headlines were fun as always, thanks to our submitters and our TotalFark voters!  Vote early, vote often!  Also - check out the NotNewsletter, where we highlight some of the extra headlines that didn't make it to the top but we love and want to give a little extra recognition.

We love all our headlines and submissions, but for Headline of the Week they need to stand out and be extra funny, clever, and creative.  The headlines that make you laugh or look at a story sideways and say "*this* is why I come to Fark".  The kind of headline that you can tell your co-worker, spouse, friend, and the person sitting next to you in the bar: "hey, check it out, *this* is Fark."

A lot of our headlines quality for that, but Headline of the week is about the standouts!  Enjoy your Headlines of the Week!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-08 to Sat 2017-10-14:

img.fark.net  ♫ Gin-gle balls, gin-gle balls, Scotch on Christmas day. Oh what fun it is to drink & vodak's on the way ♫

img.fark.net  Search for downed plane in Beaver Lake called off. No word if they used man in a canoe

img.fark.net  Please note: if you're planning a historical reenactment of a battle including tanks and machine guns, you may want to mention this to people in advance

img.fark.net  Get thee to a hurricanery

img.fark.net  Got a uterus? That's a visit to HR

img.fark.net  We've secretly replaced $80 billion in Pell Grant funding with absolutely nothing, which will force millions of students to drop out, go deeper in debt, or forego college altogether. Let's see if students notice

img.fark.net  Catalonia changes its relationship status with Spain to "It's Complicated"

img.fark.net  A handy guide to working with women for stubble-crusted swamp orcs

img.fark.net  Memorial to slaveowner Thomas Jefferson being attacked by laser-wielding assailants

img.fark.net  Today in Fark's media outreach program (details in thread)

img.fark.net  "What are you in for?" "Carjacking." "Cool. And what are you in for?" "Murder." "Cool. What about you, fresh fish, what are you in for?" "I liked somebody's Facebook post." *backs away slowly*

img.fark.net  Old man switches from yelling at clouds to shooting at passing airplanes


Sports:

img.fark.net  Seven year old girl explains passing routes. I hope she's around at the end of the season to help me understand playoff scenarios

img.fark.net  Wife-like tweeting detected

img.fark.net  US soccer coach sacks himself after loss to Trinidad. John Oliver immediately applies for job


Geek:

img.fark.net  Scientist looks behind the sofa and discovers the missing half of all the matter in the universe. "I knew it had to be around here somewhere"

img.fark.net  This may be taking Rule 34 a little too far

img.fark.net  It's called Pluto, motherfarker


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  How hard was it for women to deal with a rich and powerful sexual predator? Let's ask Terry Crews

img.fark.net  James Van Der Beek reveals that he has been grabbed by his James Van Der Cheek and even cornered by Hollywood Execs with inappropriately sexual James Van Der Speak

img.fark.net  * = €1.4mn


Politics:

img.fark.net  Let's review: the GOP made guns cheap and easy to get, but is making food and lodging expensive and out of reach for most poor Americans. That's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see how it works out

img.fark.net  Pence pouts because players protesting, peevishly parts place

img.fark.net  "Trump is playing zero-dimensional chess." If CNN is going to just steal Fark comments as headlines, they should at least let Fark use their logo on links

img.fark.net  Somebody needs to tell Trump how government works. Not that he'll listen, of course, but still

img.fark.net  Who's going to lead the Republican moderates now that the far-right has taken over the party? In related news: Wandering Republican moderates thought to be extinct have been spotted in America's northeast

img.fark.net  Stopped clock right twice today, must not have am/pm designator

img.fark.net  May: fark it, what happens if we just leave?

img.fark.net  OK, who ordered the Black Russians?

img.fark.net  After tonight's arrest, AL GOP Senate candidate Roy Moore's son has just one more to go to be eligible for a free small coffee and a donut at the jail commissary

img.fark.net  In Sep 2016, Best Korean hackers stole US-SK war plans. Say what you will about the Moron-in-Chief, but at least with his 'make it up as I tweet' approach, there aren't any plans for them to steal

img.fark.net  "The war against coal is like the war against the telegraph"

img.fark.net  Alex Jones wants better hookers

img.fark.net  Best Korea decides to keep trolling Trump, promises a "hail of fire". The apocalypse will be twittervized

img.fark.net  Even the GOP is starting to question whether President Trump is truly honoring his oath of office to defend and protect the Constitution. Or has read the Constitution. Or can read

img.fark.net  Trump to nominatje Kirstjen Nielsen as homjeland sjecurity sjecrjetary

img.fark.net  Three weeks after Hurricane Maria, only 16 percent of Puerto Ricans regret being able to read the President's Twitter feed

img.fark.net  Trump to withdraw US from UNESCO, because there's nothing the GOP hates more than Education, Science, Culture, the United Nations, or being Organized

img.fark.net  Moving on from Coal Miners, Trump now says Truckers are the lifeblood of the economy. Next up Fry Cooks and Mechanics as Trumps shores up the "poorly educated" fan base

img.fark.net  Article on why Russian propaganda campaign was so effective. Hint: See tag

img.fark.net  Attention, Republicans: The time to panic is now. When? Just now. We're at now now. Go back to then. When? Now. Now? Now. I can't. Why? We missed it. When? Just now. When will then be now?

img.fark.net  A self-confessed fornicator and sexual harasser, who was unfaithful to three wives and has children by three different baby-mommas and says he's never once asked God to forgive anything he's done, give a "hero's welcome" at Christian voters summit


Business:

img.fark.net  Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Planes. Here's a Gulf Stream V, 2012. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got whitewall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high

img.fark.net  Amazon would like to gain access to your life and I mean that in a very personal way. They would like to put stuff in your refrigerator and your trunk and... in fact, just hand over your keys. Everything will be just fine

img.fark.net  Tesla discharges hundreds of employees in shocking move


Discussion:

img.fark.net  How weird do you think the world really is?

img.fark.net  Here's how to make the best spaghetti & meatballs ever. Look, this may not be the most exciting headline on Fark today, but at least it's about something people actually like. So go ahead and click the link, make some pasta, and be happy

img.fark.net  New Comics (10/11): Batman on Batman violence, Wolverine's female clone teams up with his son (is that her son? brother? nephew? it's a little weird), And Ragman, the rare character who probably does not need a female clone version, gets a series

img.fark.net  World's shortest IQ test can embarrass most Daily Fail readers with just three questions

img.fark.net  So you've decided to summon a demon from some otherworldly plane. NOW what do you do?

img.fark.net  Because of course I did, this phrase has outlived its relevance because of course it has. You can reply with snark, because of course you can. It will get red lit, because of course it will
· · ·

6 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2017-10-16 12:25:09 PM  
Well, I'll be damned. I got a best headline!

Woot! Time to drink.
 
2017-10-16 12:45:21 PM  
Oh, good. The media outreach and its subject both got in.
 
2017-10-16 12:55:19 PM  
I'm waiting for this article to get greenlighted, unless whoever submitted it had a dumber headline that didn't mention the face tatto that says:
I'M A PORNSTAR & I FARK TEEN SLUTS

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-10-16 01:16:30 PM  

RJReves: Well, I'll be damned. I got a best headline!

Woot! Time to drink.


Me too. Cheers
 
2017-10-16 01:27:34 PM  

Pista: RJReves: Well, I'll be damned. I got a best headline!

Woot! Time to drink.

Me too. Cheers


🍻🍻🍻
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2017-10-16 04:41:16 PM  
Memorial to slaveowner Thomas Jefferson being attacked by laser-wielding assailants

Has Fark apologized to WTOP for the inaccurate headline yet?
 
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