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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-01 to Sat 2017-10-07
Posted by Blythe at 2017-10-10 11:52:28 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1130 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2017 at 11:57 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thanks as always to our submitters and to our TotalFark voters!

As always, there are tons of funny, creative, and great sideways takes on the articles.  Headlines that you could tell your friend, co-worker, bartender, and have the joke stand out as "hey, this is Fark!"

Check out the NotNewsletter too, where we highlight the headlines that don't quite make it to the top, but we'd still like to give a little extra recognition.  Enjoy!

Your Headlines of the Week are here!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-01 to Sat 2017-10-07:  Tombs opened and coffins exposed in Louisiana cemetery. I'm sure they were just out voting, not raising an army of the dead  Florida man in Deland bitten by alligator near de lake  Tom Petty's Heart Breaks  Spam has only seven ingredients: pig meat, salt, water, sugar, sodium nitrite, potato starch, and marketing  Coast Guard rescues three near Sea Level, which is where pretty much all their rescues happen  Florida to seek death penalty against killer clown. Considering the legal costs, that's just pound foolish, but Pennywise  Normal: 4chan, racist, death threats. Not normal: identified, arrested, charged, in court tomorrow  U-t-i-l-i-t-y w-o-r-k-e-r-s r-e-s-c-u-e S-l-o-t-h f-r-o-m p-o-w-e-r-l-i-n-e  Milo Snuffaluffagus' emails obtained and turned over to Buzzfeed and wow that is way more Nazis than I was expecting  Investigators probing whether others were in Las Vegas gunman's suite, besides Bump Stocks 'R' Us sales reps  Sanctuary state? Sounds like you have lots of folks we might be interested in

Sports:  Attention please, attention. There's been a slight change in the Tiger lineup. Catching, Andrew Romine. RF Andrew Romine. LF Andrew Romine, P Andrew Romine, 3B Andrew Romine, CF Andrew Romine, 1B Andrew Romine, SS Andrew Romine, 2B Andrew Romine  No man is an island, and no Eiland is a current MLB pitching coach  Tom Brady has already been sacked more times than he was all last year. Those responsible have been sacked. Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti

Geek:  Three Americans win Nobel prize in medicine for work with circadian systems. You submitted a headline earlier, you farking morning person  If a flap of one butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane, what can a 70 mile swarm of butterflies do?  Those must have been some really talented hackers to beat Equifax's data encryption... oh

Entertainment:  Marilyn Manson rushed to hospital after being crushed onstage by a giant prop. No word if he needed a tourniquet  Tom Petty has finally gotten onto the cart  Comedian Ralphie May has gone to the big buffet line in the sky

Politics:  Meanwhile, Vice President Pence will be giving an address before the Koch brothers and a small group of their closest political-donor friends in a few weeks. Just be sure to ignore those "Pence 2020" signs and bumper stickers, m'kay?  Three. Three private email accounts ah ah ah  Republicans angry at economists for finding their tax cuts go to the rich. Satire tag no longer surprised to be left on the bench for articles like this  Coul dwe besa ying goodb yeto gerryma nderedd istricts?  Then the Trump thought of something he hadn't before / "Maybe assistance," he thought, "doesn't come from a store / Maybe assistance, perhaps, means a little bit more" / But then he thought, "Naaah, talk about me a bit more"  Tim Murphy (R-PA) is leaving Congress to spend more time with one of his families  Mueller: Mr. President, urine trouble now  Trump complains that NBC did not reach out to him when reporting on the Rex Tillerson story. Moron this as it develops  The first Mrs. Donald Trump speaks to her ex once a week and advises him to tweet more. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned  Democrats can't stand it, they know Trump planned it; but they're gonna set Obamacare straight, this newfound Watergate

Business:  Three people hurt in sausage truck collision. Discussion to the right, links to the left  US files WTO complaint about Canadian wine, adding "it has whiffs of maple hoser touk sweat on the nose and a lingering moose twang on the palate - 47 points"  I said, "HURRICANES TO BLAME FOR HIRING LOSS"

Discussion:  President Trump to address the Las Vegas shooting. How will it be all about him? (10:15am ET on C-SPAN)  He once rescued a dangling participle with only an adverb and a bottle of white-out. He can hyphenate for an entire winter. He is the most interesting writer on Fark, and this is your Fark writer's thread  The 35 best scifi movies of the 35 years since Blade Runner. List to the left, complaints and omissions to the right  Almost as addictive as boarding other ships in Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday, it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. What have you been playing this week? Cuphead? Battle Chasers Nightwar? Tell us. Side note: What are your favourite gaming mods?  Will Kelly bail? Will Sexy Rexy get the boot? Is everyone properly stocked on booze? Will Trumpy kill us all in nuclear fire? HAPPY FRESH HELL FRIDAY EVERYBODY This is YOUR MSNBC evening block livethread, festivities start at 8PM EDT
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