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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-09-24 to Sat 2017-09-30. For the 80s geeks among us, find the Real Genius reference. For the rest of us, there's plenty of NFL, North Korea, Puerto Rico, Hefner, butterflies, cryptocurrency, and more. All in less than 275 characters
Posted by Blythe at 2017-10-02 1:13:50 PM (7 comments) | Permalink

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1601 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2017 at 1:13 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Here are your top voted Headlines of the Week!  Check out the NotNewsletter for more great headlines that *almost* made it to the top!  Main and Politics consistently have the most content and the most competition - for true bragging rights submit your best headlines here!  Geek is also consistently great - though it had a little extra room for competition this week.  Entertainment had a lot more competition this week - Great job!  Business, Sports, and Discussion always have a lot of gems and definitely had some great ones this week, but also have room for competition.  Good luck!

We love all our submissions and submitters!  To make it to Headline of the Week we're looking for funny, creative, and unique headlines - something that you can tell your friend, co-worker, bar buddy - "Hey, this is Fark!"

Thanks to our submitters and thanks to our TotalFark voters!

Here are your Headlines of the Week!!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-09-24 to Sat 2017-09-30:

img.fark.net  Soon all of Hong Kong's dolphins could be dead (cetacean needed)

img.fark.net  No one seems to know why Chad was just banned from entering the U.S., but it's likely because he's the guy who keeps leaving the seat up

img.fark.net  Lingerie-clad Miami high school cheerleaders .... and you're gone. I have 184 characters remaining. Anything you want to talk about? How's the weather? it's a hot one for the first week of fall here.... Jeez, still have 40 remaining characters

img.fark.net  In Limerick, a furious lover / Shot at his ex-girlfriend's mother / The miscreant fled / The woman's not dead / And don't panic - the manhunt is over

img.fark.net  Origami butterflies with ominous "you are not safe" and "9-28-17" messages appearing in Seattle, causing concern. To be fair, the butterfly effect is unpredictable

img.fark.net  Washington Post submits headline to Fark, does not get approved, posts it on their own site in a fit of pique

img.fark.net  Goodnight, bunny man (semi-NSFW thread)

img.fark.net  Drive-by shooting at drive-thru leaves hyphens scattered everywhere

img.fark.net  That's one way of getting out of repaying a half a million dollars of chartered flights

img.fark.net  Or you can have what's in this box


Sports:

img.fark.net  Think you're the world's biggest "Rick and Morty" fan? Not unless you're 6-foot-4 and 267 pounds like this pro wrestler

img.fark.net  More evidence as to why casinos are big and your house is small

img.fark.net  Take comfort Farkers, even NFL quarterbacks live in their parents' basements


Geek:

img.fark.net  Crossbow kills 5, Mitch and Chris seen buying a lot of popcorn

img.fark.net  FCC: "You need to activate the FM radio chips in your phones when there's a national emergency." Apple: "Um...you do know we don't have those in our phones, right?" FCC: *crickets*

img.fark.net  The launch of the James Webb Space Telescope is two years away... and always will be


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Beauty, beauty, beauty beauty contestant, watch out for that pool

img.fark.net  Hello muddahs / Hello faddahs / Here I am at / Camp John Waters / It was trashy / Life-affirming / But the pics ain't safe for work and you'd be squirming

img.fark.net  Supergirl's new villain will be Psi, who torments National City with calls of "Oppan Gangnam Style"


Politics:

img.fark.net  But tHEiR emails

img.fark.net  North Koreans: We're used to dealing with an insane megalomaniac, but seriously, WTF is up with your guy?

img.fark.net  Looks like the entire IRS is about to get fired via Twitter

img.fark.net  Senator Warner looks at Reddit and sees a bunch of Russian propaganda targets. He looked at Fark too, but got contact drunk and doesn't remember what he saw, or how he accidentally deleted the Politics Tab

img.fark.net  With Moore's win, Dems think they have a shot at winning a Senate seat in Alabama. It's the political equivalent of a behind-the-back, looking-into-a-mirror, trying to hit a moving target 500 yards away, with a pistol, shot; but it IS a shot

img.fark.net  At least using NFL stadiums as FEMA death camps will save on construction costs

img.fark.net  Trump describes his tax cut plan as "'giant, massive, the biggest ever". Then again that comes from a man who describes his incredibly tiny hands as 'normal sized' so subby would advise some caution

img.fark.net  Seriously, there has to be something wrong with this guy

img.fark.net  U.S. Chamber of Commerce wants to prevent consumers from suing companies ... and has filed a lawsuit to outlaw lawsuits. We're not just through the looking glass here, folks, we're moving into entirely new alternate dimensions

img.fark.net  They probably can't see the Fake news, since, you know, they have no electricity


Business:

img.fark.net  Russia threatens to improve its citizens' quality of life

img.fark.net  Soup, salad and breadsticks at $5.99 = financial success. Soup, salad and breadsticks at $6.99, well gosh darnit, that's just price gouging, I'm never setting foot in an Olive Garden again

img.fark.net  SEC: Cryptocurrencies are securities. Investors: So about these initial-coin-offerings that are merely thinly-disguised attempts to circumvent the IPO process because there's no actual business in there. SEC: Yeah, about them


Discussion:

img.fark.net  Is fizzy milk making a comeback? Let's hope not

img.fark.net  The best and worst cities in the world to drive in. Including ranking by road rage levels

img.fark.net  "A person who publishes a book appears willfully in public eye with his pants down." ― Edna St. Vincent Millay. Hah, like we wear pants in here anyway. This is your Fark writer's thread, pants down edition

img.fark.net  I think that in light of Twitter revealing that their 240 character limit is arbitrary that we on fark should consider why we are limited to only 250. Do the owners and maintainers of this website believe that we can or shouldn't express our selves m

img.fark.net  You know, you gotta submit the link, Morty, for the Hannity thread to go green. Yeah, look, I submitted a Hannity link and the link had no problem getting greenlit. It was a...It was a leisurely breeze (Hannity starts at 9 PM ET)

img.fark.net  Here are ten almost-extinct words we need to start using right away. Subby hopes he didn't embrangle you about that snollygoster
· · ·

7 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2017-10-02 01:40:45 PM  
What a crappy bunch.
 
2017-10-02 02:06:24 PM  
Geek section - First headline...Crossbow was the laser weapon the inadvertently helped develop. The popcorn, well, the professor hated popcorn. Especially in his house.
 
2017-10-02 02:33:03 PM  
Too bad the page isn't mobile friendly.
 
2017-10-02 04:08:01 PM  

LucklessWonder: What a crappy bunch.


one of mine got through, so it must be
 
2017-10-02 09:02:30 PM  
"When I was in Cameron's land... let my Cameron gooooo" hahaha classic
 
2017-10-02 11:03:04 PM  
Not a chuckle or a laugh among the entire group. Just another sad, weekly listing of headlines that aren't even clever or funny.

The entire HOTW has completely fallen off the cliff since it's under the new management.

Be more selective, limit subtabs to ONLY the top 3, and DO NOT go strictly by the voting. Many of the funniest, more inventive headlines don't always score the highest.  Additionally, we don't need to see the runners-up in the Eark Newsletter - there's no glory in finishing 2nd - especially when they aren't the slightest bit funny.

What you now have is just a weekly group of headlines with most being totally forgettable.

And whatever happened to August 13 - August 19?    http://www.fark.com/hotw/
 
2017-10-03 10:00:56 AM  

Principal Clarinet: Not a chuckle or a laugh among the entire group. Just another sad, weekly listing of headlines that aren't even clever or funny.

The entire HOTW has completely fallen off the cliff since it's under the new management.

Be more selective, limit subtabs to ONLY the top 3, and DO NOT go strictly by the voting. Many of the funniest, more inventive headlines don't always score the highest.  Additionally, we don't need to see the runners-up in the Eark Newsletter - there's no glory in finishing 2nd - especially when they aren't the slightest bit funny.

What you now have is just a weekly group of headlines with most being totally forgettable.

And whatever happened to August 13 - August 19?    http://www.fark.com/hotw/


I'm guessing yours didn't make it through?
 
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