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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-08-27 to Sat 2017-09-02
Posted by Blythe at 2017-09-05 11:00:12 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1194 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2017 at 11:00 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thanks for voting for Headline of the Week!  Remember to vote early, vote often.  The best time to vote is when you a headline really stands out for you - remember to vote for it!  We're looking most of all for funny - but also headlines that just really grab you, or are a fantastic creative twist.  Thanks to all our submitters!!

We have a lot of great headlines and not all of the great ones get the most votes, to see a few that *didn't* make the cut, check out the Not Newsletter!  Make sure to vote your favorites during the week, and make *your* favorites rise to the top!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-08-27 to Sat 2017-09-02:  Researchers discover 6,000-year-old wine in Sicilian cave, are unable to determine if it was red or white wine. Well, no duh, everything was black and white back then  North Korea takes another shot at Godzilla. Who is apparently on the other side of Japan  Man charged with robbing magazine salesman is looking at time, maybe even life  Women who begged for help and rescue during Katrina rescued during Harvey. That's a long wait  Seattle businesses come together as Amazon, Starbucks, and Microsoft pledge Harvey relief. Of course, this just means they'll quickly deliver something burned that crashes a lot  Wow, that $5 a month really adds up quickly  350 gators will probably escape Houston gator farm due to Harvey. Which is good, because somebody needs to fight all the sharks  Best Buy apologizes for selling $42 packs of bottled water in Houston during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, promises to make it up to customers by offering them a mail-in rebate coupon for 50% off of the one-year extended warranty  Yo, Harvey, I'm really happy for you, and Irma let you finish  Did the Russians elect a new pope?

Sports:  San Diego, clearly confused about the mechanics of rebound relationships, replaces the NFL with professional indoor lacrosse  Note: if you're going to practice for a reenactment of the War of the Roses, you should avoid aiming at cricket stadiums  USC long snapper Jake Olson becomes just the second blind top-division college football player to see the field

Geek:  Like some sort of Pooka, Hurricane Harvey cannot be seen from the ISS... due to some storm or something near the Johnson Space Center  The solar eclipse did not mess up your period (The Fark headline filter did)  Quantum Mechanics wasn't too solid to begin with, decades of patches have turned it into a hodge-podge of spaghetti code, and now needs to be rewritten from the ground up

Entertainment:  Guillermo Del Totoro  Brand New tops the Billboard. I'm sure they're new but what's the name of the band? They're Brand New. I know they're new, I heard you the first time, but what's the name of what's the name of the band and who the fark is on second?  Reality TV Show about Bros living as Romans called "Bromans" in production. Coming up next: Reality TV Show "Bromans" canceled after angry Goths sack set, plunder TV production equipment, and kidnap the producer

Politics:  How Trump's wall has gone from a "glorious" 30 foot high, 10 foot thick, razor-wire topped monstrosity to something that will most likely end up having little people dance around it during a Spinal Tap reunion concert  Oh, hey, here is a timely debate: The National Flood Insurance Program is set to expire in a few weeks, and Congressional Republicans are split between hard-line conservatives who want to "reform" the program, and those who come from coastal states  Trump, when the rain fell. Pence and Cabinet at Situation Room. (PICS)  Well, this is a novel way to wake up in the morning: "missile approaching" text message  Secretary of State Tillerson has gratefully accepted Mexico's offer of food, boats and supplies to help cope with the disaster in Houston. For its part, Mexico has promised not to spray paint "Construir una pared fuera de esto, perras" on the aid  Mueller is looking at Donnie's tax returns. Subby is typing this one-handed  Hoplophobe professor admits he's wearing body armor. Not as comfortable as a cardigan with suede elbows and a pipe but it is a different era  FARC transforms into a political party. Remember that less than 5% of FARC party candidates are hand-picked for nomination. Want to increase the chances of your candidate being nominated by FARC? Read this  Prosecutors deny probing Schock's sexuality. Are we not doing phrasing anymore?  Pundit posits identity politics as positively pernicious, pestilential and perfidious: Destroying America One Snowflake at a Time. Fark: not a white guy UltraFark:

Business:  Anheuser-Busch stops brewing beer to send canned water to Houston. It can be identified by the brand names Natural Lite or Bud Lite  Facebook divides by zero  Amazon hit with lawsuit over cheapo defective eclipse glasses. Who did NOT see this coming? Besides the plaintiffs, obviously

Discussion:  Just like porn, prog rock is something that is hard to define but everyone knows it when they hear it. This week the Sunday Morning Music Club is looking for where to start, what must be owned, and what's new and exciting in the prog world  Wait .... so you're saying there were no great whites swimming on I-45, 20 ft gators on I-10 and ANTIFA shooting at the mighty Cajun Navy?  I have no idea what you're singing about, so here's YATTA because it's been awhile  New Comics (8/30): Secret Empire mercifully ends, Darkseid gives us an upskirt shot, Mace Windu finally gets his own motherfarking comic, Moneypenny gets out from behind the desk, and Hawkeye hunts the most dangerous game....Hawkeye  My office finally started blocking Fark. I'm stuck using my phone to communicate with you people. You're so tiny now  When Starlight Glimmer and Trixie visit Thorax, they meet his brother Pharynx, who is grateful you're no longer watching it for the Abdomen. It's My Little Pony - To Change a Changeling, Saturday on Discovery Family at 11:30am ET
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2017-09-05 03:10:25 PM  
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2017-09-05 11:18:46 PM  
^^^ heh
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