Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-08-20 to Sat 2017-08-26
Posted by Blythe at 2017-08-28 11:56:50 AM (1 comment) | Permalink

•       •       •

1185 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2017 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Thanks for voting for Headline of the Week!  Remember to vote early, vote often.  The best time to vote is when you a headline really stands out for you - remember to vote for it!  We're looking most of all for funny - but also headlines that just really grab you, or are a fantastic creative twist.  Thanks to all our submitters!!

We have a lot of great headlines and not all of the great ones get the most votes, to see a few that *didn't* make the cut, check out the Not Newsletter!  Make sure to vote your favorites during the week, and make *your* favorites rise to the top!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-08-20 to Sat 2017-08-26:  Jerry Lewis has died. France surrenders  The North Korean threats of war that were on, then off, are now back on again. Please adjust your apocalypse clock accordingly  John McCain has been injured in a boating accident  Manassas Civil War Weekend cancelled over safety concerns, predetermined outcome  Dearest Martha, My diploma is lost. The college cannot overcome my opposition to equality. Pray for me, my reckoning is here  Headless torso found near topless beach  51, 53, 55, 58, 52, 52, 56 -- that's the good part. Then come 41, 47, 35, 49, 48. To sum up: 39  Gimme an O. Gimme a U. Gimme a C. Gimme an H  Thanks to climate change, a tanker was able to sail through the Arctic without an icebreaker for the first time - 30% quicker than via the southern route, saving fuel and reducing its carbon footprint in the process, helping to counter climate change  Actual headline: Princess Diana's impact endures 20 years after her death. This is why we need to bring back phrasing

Sports:  O.J. Mayo hopes to make an NBA comeback with the Milwaukee Bucks. M.W. Hellmann is planning one, too  His last request, to have 8 Philadelphia Eagles as pall bearers so the Eagles can let him down one last time  Drunk, naked, and in a stranger's condo is no way to go through life... Russillo. That's a Kanell move

Geek:  Reveal it with fi-, wait are you sure about that? All right, reveal it with fire  High doses of Vitamin B can lead to lung cancer, especially among smokers. Especially. Among. Smokers  Inventor patents simple device that cuts car emissions and improves economy. But this is a Daily Mail article so now I'm doubting cars actually exist

Entertainment:  Paris Hilton claims she could have been like Princess Diana if it weren't for sex tape. Which is understandable because Diana's life was also ruined by one night in Paris  Black Mirror creator's thought process: Guy screwing a pig? Fine. Existential nightmares? No problem. An 80s-themed love story? Maybe that's going too far  Cops called after Kate and Jon Gosselin's blowout fight at orthodontist office. Apparently, even the orthodontist was unable to straighten things out between them

Politics:  Barack Obama: You shouldn't stare at the sun without protective glasses  The turtle vs. the hair  If you go through the Time Cube, you come out in Forman's basement

Business:  Do you own a Tesla? Do you want to drive a giant underground drill? Well, I've got good news for you  Philippines transport regulatory board say they'll lift Uber's suspension once the company pays a hefty bribe ... fine. I meant fine  At 248 mph, China reclaims title for world's fastest train. Amtrak says it has trains that have gone faster, but just not while any of the cars were still actually on the tracks

Discussion:  Will Lesnar lose his title? No. Will Nakamura beat Mahal? Yes. Will Rusev come out on top? Yes. Will The Shield defeat Cesaro and Sheamus? Obviously. This is your WWE Summerslam thread, the most predictable card of the year. Action begins at 7pm ET  Stay calm. We can do this. If we believe, really believe in it, we can bring the sun back. So clap. Clap like your sun depends on it. Official discussion thread (live webcast starts at 11:45am ET)  "The British obsession with ketchup has gone too far." That's technically impossible  Ms. T has a problem: she's single and in her 20s, and frustrated that her younger sister, whom she's always been academically and athletically superior to, is getting married. Ms. T can't stand losing and wants to know what to do. I pity the fool  How would Superman kill himself? Difficulty: He can't find any Kryptonite  What do you do when your big sister/little sister camping trip is ruined -- aside from burying your dead? It's spooky campfire tale time on My Little Pony - Campfire Tales this Saturday on Discovery Family at 11:30am ET
· · ·

1 Comment     (+0 »)
2017-08-28 01:15:11 PM  
what happened to 8/13-19?
Displayed 1 of 1 comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.