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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-08-06 to Sat 2017-08-12
Posted by Blythe at 2017-08-15 10:05:21 AM (7 comments) | Permalink

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1665 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2017 at 10:05 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Here are your Headlines of the Week - the top ten voted headlines for Main and Politics and the top three voted headlines for each of the other tabs. FYI, if you're a submitter looking for more top headlines to brag about, we need more in Discussion and Sports!

As always, we get a lot of great headlines that get overlooking in the voting!  Take a look in the NotNewsletter and see a few of the very Fark-worthy ones that didn't quite make the cut - and vote more, vote often to get the ones you really want to see recognized at the top!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-08-06 to Sat 2017-08-12:  Second deadly shooting in Baltimore's 'Nobody kill anybody' weekend. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG  Forest Grove police log: "No one worshiping Satan at the library"  "I ain't got no body" is a great song to sing along with, unless you're driving a coroner's van and the gurney just rolled out the back and into traffic  When the last remaining pockets of civilized humans huddle in dark caves and the ruins of our cities as gangs of barbarians hunt us for sport, and we try to figure out where we went wrong, the phrase "Audiobooks for Dogs " will come up a lot  Columbian Mammoth found in Montana. ICE immediately begins deportation proceedings  Jeffrey Lord simply wanted to know the whereabouts of his friend Kyle, who's about *this* high  Furniture store receives foot stool filled with pot, no doubt derailing someone's plans for a new ottoman drug empire  Google cancels its "All Hands on Deck" sexism meeting to make damn sure there wasn't a typo in the title  Not news: President ratchets up the rhetoric, saying the US would "overwhelmingly retaliate" against North Korea and "end their country as they know it." News: President Bill Clinton back in 1993  The Magnolia House restaurant in downtown Pyongyang has accrued 43 Google reviews so far, apparently all written by Farkers

Sports:  Um... Please disregard the earlier story about Jay Cutler sticking to his original game plan. o_o'  Fan choice for the 2018 U.S. Olympic Luge Team helmet design looks like something Evel Knievel would have been proud to wear  The 50 greatest sports psychology quotes of all time. You have to take the internet one article at a time. I'm just happy to be here, hope I can help the Fark club. I just want to give it my best shot, and the good lord willing, things will work out

Geek:  Researchers describe protein previously unknown in biology, say it reacts like chicken  Sex expert suggests women listen to what their vaginas are saying. Barring that, maybe lip reading would work  Tesla envisions autonomous semi-trucks "moving in platoons". No word on if the prototype model will be provided by Western Star, and sport a Green Goblin hood ornament

Publicity:  Fark gets a shout-out in a recent Dark Tower review - "As a commenter on Fark recently said, I would be perfectly fine watching two hours of Idris Elba reading Yelp reviews"

Entertainment:  Kyra Sedgewick discovers her degree of separation from Kevin Bacon is closer than she thought  Scaramucci Scaramucci you can do the Colbert show  Church organist plays the Star Trek theme, next mass expected to be held at the Christine Chapel

Politics:  Trump logic: Spending two weeks golfing and tweeting can't be considered a vacation if you've spent most of your presidency golfing and tweeting  CCA threatens to close a NM for-profit prison unless it gets 300 new inmates in the next 60 days. Subby reckons they haven't thought their cunning plan all the way through  And on his tower, these words appear: "I am Donnie Trump, president of presidents. Look at my works, ye bigly and despair." Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare. The lone and level sands stretch far away  Rush Limbaugh thinks millennials think Game of Thrones is real. Odd coming from a Lannister ally  Yertle criticizes Trump for rushing him with arbitrary deadlines and excessive expectations, reminds him the turtle wins the race, not the hair  Heck'uva job, Donnie. Now North Korea's turned on their aimbot  The Anne Frank Center just pulled a reverse Godwin on Trump  Indiana Republicans discover that they love early voting in places like Hamilton county, but hate it in Marion county, so they reduced its availability there. The fact that one trends Republican and the other Democratic has nothing to do with this  GOP: Workers should save more for their own retirement. Also GOP: We're cutting out nearly all programs that help workers save for retirement  Uhuru wins Kenyan Presidency, meaning there's now an opening for a communications officer on the Enterprise

Business:  People in every industry should be concerned about robots replacing us. AI submitted this with a beta headline  Heineken customer sues after he allegedly got violently ill and developed PTSD from drinking a beer with 'foul taste' that contained 2 dead geckos. Heineken says his claims claims are meritless, and the foul taste is normal  Working at Google is just like working in the Soviet camps where prisoners were worked and starved to death as part of one of the 20th century's worst genocides. You know, a Goolag

Discussion:  Here are myths that you probably think are facts. Now, where is Subby's Viking helmet?  Trying to come up with Fantasy Football team names. Preferably GoT themed. Anyone have any good ones?  Postal Service, with the threat of Amazon drones and even deliveries by golf cart, wants to raise the price of stamps even more to combat these threats. Do you still mail anything at all?
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7 Comments     (+0 »)
2017-08-15 10:19:48 AM  
Love that Ozymandias headline.
2017-08-15 10:36:51 AM  
Woot!  Two entries in one week!
2017-08-15 10:51:10 AM  
I feel like I actually accomplished something when I make the list.  Yep, my work is done.
2017-08-15 11:22:13 AM  

cgraves67: Love that Ozymandias headline.

*bows* thank you kindly sir. I'm sure i could've written it better like changed "tower" to "tweet"
2017-08-15 11:36:23 AM  

somedude210: cgraves67: Love that Ozymandias headline.

*bows* thank you kindly sir. I'm sure i could've written it better like changed "tower" to "tweet"

It's definitely getting my vote come HotY time.
2017-08-15 11:47:54 AM  
A HOTW with one comment and no votes?
Who's salad did subby toss to get that one in there?
2017-08-15 05:02:11 PM  

abhorrent1: A HOTW with one comment and no votes?
Who's salad did subby toss to get that one in there?

Ever since the longtime person who previously did the HOTW departed, the entire HOTW has completely fallen off the cliff. Too many mediocre, juvenile, (and plainly not even slightly cleaver or amusing) headlines now get listed.

Every week the group  of headlines chosen gets less and less funny. HOTW for Discussion topics? WTF
10 mediocre Politics headlines? Why not just the absolute three best?

Instead of strictly relying on voting,  it's far better to take more time and go through them and manually chose the funniest and most clever/inventive ones.  Many great ones can easily be overlooked. That's the way it was done successfully in the past.

The way it is done now, just doesn't work.
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