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Uber CEO needs a Lyft, Chris Christie breaking wind - er, ground, and what grownups are putting in their mouths these days. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-06-11 to Sat 2017-06-17
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-06-25 6:57:09 PM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1605 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2017 at 6:57 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back for another edition of Fark's Headlines of the Week, where we offer you some of the smartest, satirical, and funniest headlines submitted. If you've not seen this before, just know that sometimes the joke is when you click on the link to see the article. If you see a headline you like, be sure and click that thumbs-up in the comment header and show some love to the submitter.

To the Headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-06-11 to Sat 2017-06-17:  Coincidence?  -in grill  Woman finds 9mm Glock... er, guac  Ghost teachers cost Pennsylvania school district more than $500K, according to lawsuit. And that's not even counting the time they have to take off due to meddling kids and their dogs  Uber CEO to take a cab home to spend more time with his family  Two arrested for attacking protesters at the Turkish Embassy in Washington, DC. I guess it IS somebody's business and not just the Turks'  Chuckling Sovietly, Putin offers asylum to James Comey  Police announce they have arrested one of the seven Maute brothers leading ISIS in the Philippines, further endangering the planned production of 'Seven Bombs for Seven Brothers'  The 16 best reaction gifs. Ever. Ranked. It's been decided. Don't even TRY to prove the article wrong  Theresa May couldn't meet with Grenfell Tower victims due to security concerns. The Queen: "Hold my crown"  More adults have died from eating laundry pods than kids. Why adults are eating either one remains a mystery  Restaurant owner releases 132-year-old lobster for purely shellfish reasons

Sports:  Now kiss  Seattle Mariners stop playing in Safeco Field after 2018, not that they were playing before then either  Renowned fly rod maker Tom Morgan dies at age 76. As a true fisherman, the casket was ordered for someone seven feet tall when he was actually 5'9"

Geek:  Scientists say babies can recognize faces while still in the womb. Which raises the question of who is sticking their face up there in the first place?  Unexpected uses for teabags. 12-year-old gamers intrigued  (Iconic Los Angeles) HOT DOG (stand previously) THROWN (out of famous location will end up) DOWN (in) A HALL (of a museum,) WAY (over in the San Fernando Valley)

Entertainment:  Jennifer Lawrence avoids pulling a Lynard Skynard  Katy Perry admits to cultural appropriation. Who knew "stripper" was a culture?  Shine on you crazy Neil Diamond

Politics:  Donald Trump tells Theresa May he's never visiting the UK again  To hang on to power with her minority in Parliament, May needs to commit to a hard Brexit. And also a soft Brexit. And also no Brexit at all. And also a double Brexit with cheese. And also a Brexit, Brexit, eggs, bacon, Brexit, chips, and Brexit  In annual Congressional baseball game following Wednesday's shooting, Dems spank Republicans 11-2, though Dems had an unfair advantage given that all 9 GOP players could only play right field

Business:  Cat-friendly company says encouraging employees to bring their cats to work has reduced stress and increased productivity and social cohesion. Downsides: chair backrests scratched, occasional cat-like typing detected  Chris Christie breaks ground on a $2.4 billion Newark Airport terminal project. Although to be fair, this also happens when Christie takes more than a few steps  Time, Inc. cuts 300 jobs due to the declining print business. Apparently they are slowly accepting the eventual end of Time, ink
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1 Comment     (+0 »)
2017-06-25 08:44:11 PM  
My favorite nonFark Uber-related headline recently: Headless Company In Driverless Race.
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