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How to cook a gator, self-medicating Bill Cosby, and a lasting peach: these are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-21 to Sat 2017-05-27
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-05-30 5:57:38 AM (2 comments) | Permalink
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1488 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2017 at 6:57 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back for another edition of Fark's Headlines of the Week, where we bring you the weirdest, wackiest, and outright funniest headlines we've published this week. These are all brought to you by YOUR voting, so the next time you see one that deserves some love, click the thumbs-up button in the comment header and you might see it here next week.

To the headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-21 to Sat 2017-05-27:  Police grill the hamburglar who they think stole a Ronald McDonald statue. It's enough to make you grimace  Trump meets Abbas, confuses everyone by saying his favorite song by him was Fernando  Sir Roger Moore is off to that Casino Royale in the sky  Murder suspect who used big-penis defense found not guilty. Judge immediately issues gag order  Man run over by tractor in LaGrange. Police want to know a-how how how how such a thing could happen  Lighten up, Francis  "Nude dancers push back." Isn't that usually $20 extra?  Undercover gator poaching operation nets nine arrests. Apparently, they can only be deep fried or fricasseed  Teen selling her virginity hopes to buy a car. Yugo, girl  Man tries to bite flight attendant then jumps off plane onto tarmac. The AAristocrats  They see me rollin', they hatin'  Trump toilet paper - be sure to wipe right

Sports:  Mike Napoli hit a monster home run that clanged its way into the center-field camera well. Free game activated  David Ortiz got an honorary degree from Boston University. Just call him Doctor Big Papi  OJ Simpson might get to resume his relentless pursuit of the real killer in July

Geek:  ♫ ♫You put your Google in, you take your Amazon out, you put your Facebook in and you shake it all about. You engage in world domination while you turn the world around, and that's what it's all about ♫ ♫  Eating beans instead of beef would reduce methane emissions globally. Subby's wife begs to differ on this finding  Among thu manny benefitshes of dranking alcohlol, you can shcratch off preffentinge heart disheashe. Memry lossh ish shtill gaad thaaaa

Entertainment:  Not a bad way to get fired  Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'. Gregg Allman dead at 69  Bill Cosby is paranoid and alone. Maybe he should take a Quaalude or something to relax

Politics:  White House press release states that President Trump wants "lasting peach" between Israel and Palestine  Pope Francis: Oy vey, what did I do to deserve this?  Outta the way, outta the way. Hey Eurotrash, step aside, America comin' through

Business:  To increase tourism, Egypt moves King Tut's bed and chariot to a new museum in Cairo. Most complicated pyramid scheme ever  90,000 pounds of breakfast sausage recalled. Discussion to the right. Links to the left  Jacque Fresco, a futurist who envisioned a society without money has died at age 101, leaving no assets
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2017-05-30 07:27:13 AM  
I see the last Roger Moore headline made it, but the other rotating headlines should make Honorable Mention.
2017-05-30 11:32:59 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: I see the last Roger Moore headline made it, but the other rotating headlines should make Honorable Mention.

The iterations, for your viewing pleasure:
- Do you expect me to talk? No Mr Bond, I expect you to die. Sir Roger Moore dies at 89
- No, no, no. No more foreplay." Sir Roger Moore dies at 89
- Sir Roger Moore is now In Her Majesty's Secret Funeral Service
- Sir Roger Moore did not die another day
- Sir Roger Moore is off to that Casino Royale in the sky
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