If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Canadian girlfriends, domestic citrus, and NFL drug testing. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-30 to Sat 2017-05-06
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-05-11 9:46:56 AM (3 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog, plain weirdest headlines, pretty good crop, conman Joel Osteen, passive-aggressive comments Southern, Merkel shocks hosts, Best Twitter bot, comment thread header, Oregon man submits
• • •
1570 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2017 at 9:46 AM (1 year ago) | | share: more»
Share this link:
Article Comments close
Welcome back to another edition of Fark's Headlines of the week, where we show the funniest, smartest, and just plain weirdest headlines from the previous week. We had a pretty good crop this week, if I do say so myself. These headlines are selected from YOUR votes, so whenever you see one you like, be sure and hit that thumbs up button in the comment thread header and you just might see it here next week.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-30 to Sat 2017-05-06:
Six Thai fighters killed in rebel ambush. Too late for Ackbar
Best Twitter bot of all time trolls megachurch evangelist pastor and notorious conman Joel Osteen's tweets by replacing all mentions of "God" with "your dick"
Angela Merkel shocks hosts by going topless
Colgate University in Upstate New York went on lockdown for over 4 hours last night because someone saw an art student enter the student center with a GLUE GUN for a project. Authorities believe the charges won't stick
On the plus side, everyone now knows he really did have a Canadian girlfriend
Man found nailed to a tree. Jesus, that has got to hurt
Oregon man submits resume for Benghazi investigation
Guess what happens if you take a drug called "Gray Death"
Lions, and tigers, and bears ... all die
Atlanta gangsters guilty of shooting mime, not using a silencer
The Satanic Temple, doing God's work
Marshawn Lynch thanks fans with a full-page ad in the Seattle Times. Everyone knew it was from Lynch because the entire page was blank
Bob Marley's grandson invited to Redskins minicamp. League to drug test him three times a day
Alabama head coach Nick Saban to be paid $11.125 million this season. Or $4 million for each student he graduates, whichever is greater
Average American gains 30 pounds from ages 20 to 50. Science says it may be because of a single molecule. In other news, beer now considered a molecule
After ruling out corduroy, scientists puzzled by the eerie "whistling" sounds beamed back to Earth from inside Saturn's rings
Mass circumcision ceremony for pre-teen boys scheduled. Tip-off at 9:00am
Elizabeth Warren goes on record as a fan of Ballers, no word on Shot Callers or Twenty-inch blades on the Impala
What do you want? How about one of the greatest sci-fi television shows ever now available to stream for free
KFC releases romantic novella about Colonel Sanders, in which he probably describes his paramours as finger-licking good
Trump is "looking into breaking up big banks" while his staffers search the White House to find out how Bernie got in and where he is hiding
Sentient tub of Cinnabon frosting Chris Christie vetoes a bill requiring politicians to release tax returns that was inspired by Trump, but there's no conflict of interest. Why do you keep saying that Trump has any conflicts of interest?
Le Pen admits plagiarizing adversary's speech, but says it's okay because it's been said hundreds of times, then regales reporters with her tales of being born a poor black woman on the south side of Chicago
Austria's Green Party teaches women how to urinate standing up; your party teaches squat
U.S. ends a ban on imported Argentine lemons after realizing we have millions of domestic lemons that are produced each year in Detroit
Soylent raises $50M in venture capital, founder says he's working on "new innovations in product categories." I hear they need lots of people
Johnson & Johnson ordered to pay $110 million in damages to a woman who says their baby powder gave her cancer & cancer
· · ·
This thread is closed to new comments.