Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Your abilities on Abilify, clothed captains on YouTube, and Mick Jagger's autobiiiergrrrrrrrp. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-02-12 to Sat 2017-02-18
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-02-20 8:39:44 AM (6 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

•       •       •

1526 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2017 at 9:30 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Welcome back for another edition of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week. Here we present the best and funniest headlines submitted for the week, and then drink tea with our pinkies sticking out. These headlines all come from your votes, so if you see one this week that you like, hit the thumbs up button in the header. Many squirrels were sacrificed to make that button. Don't let it go to waste.

Also, since no one reads this blurb anymore, Tiny Trump is my favorite meme of the week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-02-12 to Sat 2017-02-18:

img.fark.net  Militarily aggressive country with unstable, belligerent leader successfully test fires an intercontinental ballistic missile

img.fark.net  Donald Trump spreads debunked story about Sanders. Apparently, he's not a Colonel after all

img.fark.net  Trial starts for woman who chainsawed lover to death during sex, having apparently read a misprint of "Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way"

img.fark.net  Russian Ambassador to the White House resigns

img.fark.net  This day in 1779, Patriots win just outside Atlanta with an overwhelming ground game

img.fark.net  Man turns himself in for bestiality charges, because the evidence against him was mounting

img.fark.net  Expert fortune cookie writer quits due to "writer's block" in bed

img.fark.net  Harrison Ford to air traffic control: "Everything is perfectly alright now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"

img.fark.net  Late Little Caesars founder Mike Ilitch paid Rosa Parks' rent for up to a decade after she was burglarized. If only Papa John were half the man he was

img.fark.net  Abilify drug blamed for compulsive gambling, eating, shopping and sex. Sounds like it lived up to its name

img.fark.net  Google reports over 1 billion YouTube videos now have closed captions, generated by computer is grains and that allows a sense in its ability to understand the united daily work, selects of closing time tracker

img.fark.net  Orlando man accused of plotting to blow up stores in stock manipulation scheme. To be fair, they DO have a giant Target on them


Sports:

img.fark.net  Pelicans' Buddy Hield grabs Kings' DeMarcus Cousins by groin, gets ejected. Most painful sack of the year

img.fark.net  21 years ago today, Bill Belichick was fired as coach of the Cleveland Browns. Since then, he's won five Super Bowls while the Browns have had two winning seasons

img.fark.net  Patriots fan has Tom Brady's face tattooed on his ass. Eagerly awaits having his balls deflated


Geek:

img.fark.net  New battery runs on seawater. Initial tests have been overwhelmingly positive

img.fark.net  Massive lake of molten carbon the size of Mexico discovered under the US, Trump promises to build a floor

img.fark.net  Deforestation in Brazil has increased 30% in the past 12 months. It would have been even more but apparently they decided to leave a landing strip


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Turns out the articles weren't all that great

img.fark.net  Holy sugartits Batman, Mel Gibson is in talks to direct Suicide Squad 2

img.fark.net  Mick Jagger wrote a 75,000 word autobiography in the 1980s, and if you're wondering what's in it, so is he


Politics:

img.fark.net  Trump appoints an art historian to the National Security Council because nobody told him those Dan Brown books were fiction

img.fark.net  This actually is Trump's Katrina (No, not wife #4)

img.fark.net  Look this Mike Flynn scandal is all just a big innocent misunderstanding: When General Flynn saw a note on his desk from Trump reading "VP is demanding you call the Russian Ambassador today" He just ASSUMED that meant Pence and not..you know


Business:

img.fark.net  Oregon looks to fund education budget with a proposed coffee tax. Starbucks customers immediately protest over taxation without caffeination

img.fark.net  Avon is no longer calling

img.fark.net  NFL and CBS discuss ways to make games shorter. Atlanta Falcons immediately suggest ending their games after the first half
· · ·

6 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2017-02-20 08:52:47 AM  
ok, missed again.
Sometime during my almost 1000 headlines, I will get one.
 
2017-02-20 12:28:25 PM  
I READ THE BLURB!

I also drink ...well... *everything* with my pinkie sticking out. :P
 
2017-02-20 02:45:41 PM  
No, they are your headlines of the week, since you choose them.
 
2017-02-20 07:22:07 PM  
I heard ability rules.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2017-02-20 08:15:28 PM  
These are not my headlines of the week. I didn't vote for them. I think the Russians meddled in the mods.
 
2017-02-21 05:36:13 PM  
Rule 232: It always sounds better in your head.
 
Displayed 6 of 6 comments


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report