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Dispute over a man's last words, Giant Meteor's take on the election, and how to get less sleep. These are YOUR highest voted Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-22 to Sat 2017-01-28
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-02-01 9:09:21 AM (7 comments) | Permalink

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2245 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2017 at 10:45 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



We had a yuuuuuuuuge week last week, with over 1200 submissions greened, nearly 400 in the Poltab alone. We've narrowed it down to the highest voted, and here they are. Voting was also way up, as we had a really, really good crop of headlines to choose from. So keep those votes rolling in, and you'll likely see the ones you like here next week.

We should be back to our regular Monday posting next week.

Also, since no one reads this blurb anymore, I'll just say GO ATLANTA!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-22 to Sat 2017-01-28:

img.fark.net  Man eaten by crocodile in the East Alligator River. Conflicting reports say his last words were either "See you later" or "After awhile"

img.fark.net  IKEA recalls wooden chairs due to customer reports of sustained injuries. Help me, I'm sø very scared

img.fark.net  Woman charged with aggravated battery for pelting police officer with a 'deadly weapon' - her wet and used tampon. Officials are investigating a possible string of crimes

img.fark.net  Investigators seek tips after discovering wolf poaching. Well, for one, put a capful of vinegar in the hot water, and don't overcook

img.fark.net  God has decided that he needed someone who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile

img.fark.net  Pakistani game-show host turned religious presenter is banned for inciting violence after accusing activists of insulting Islam, because apparently that's how they roll on The Wheel of Blasphemy and The Price Is Jihad

img.fark.net  Germany approves controversial 'Foreigner' toll on Autobahn, despite objections from neighboring countries who call it a Cheap Trick

img.fark.net  Now they're arresting sandwiches in Florida

img.fark.net  Year of the Cock starts Saturday, January 28, not January 20th as previously thought

img.fark.net  Giant Meteor demands a recount

img.fark.net  Man tries to Make Delta Great Again

img.fark.net  18-year-old undergoes the full wedding treatment of hair, make-up, gown to get married...to a pizza. Probably a Chicago pizza, as we all know New York pizza lacks commitment


Sports:

img.fark.net  Ronda Rousey spotted at gun store applying for concealed weapon permit, presumably to make sure she has a fair chance at stopping the next beating she takes in a UFC ring

img.fark.net  NASCAR driver Carl Edwards may have retired to run for Senate in 2018. Doesn't he know that his history of repeatedly turning left will almost surely destroy any chances he has of winning?

img.fark.net  Coach K bans his sucky Duke basketball team from their own locker room and from wearing Duke apparel. Also, he's seriously mulling over taking away their fruit cups at lunch


Geek:

img.fark.net  New research shows that it's possible to train yourself to need less sleep. It's called having kids

img.fark.net  China's new microwave weapon can disable missiles and paralyze tanks, heat up your leftovers

img.fark.net  Man loses half his body weight after he gives up booze. Yes, but at what cost?


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Dutch TV host gives Trump rudder directions on how to steer the great ship of state with his tiny, tiny hands. It's amazing. Believe me

img.fark.net  Oprah putting out her own line of ready-to-eat meals called Mealtime Stories. It's OK, Oprah, you can call them TV dinners. You're not fooling anyone

img.fark.net  Legendary Actor John Hurt dies after a history of battling cancer, chest-protruding aliens


Politics:

img.fark.net  Pussy Comitatus

img.fark.net  You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President

img.fark.net  Trump speaks with Mexican president Peña Nieto, insists that he'll make Mexico pay for the phone call


Business:

img.fark.net  "We don't fly in our chickens'" Well that's a relief

img.fark.net  Kroger says it will fill 10,000 permanent jobs this year. Apparently people are once again shopping for food because they can't afford to eat out anymore

img.fark.net  Made in China? Made in USA? Who gives a crap where the robot that built your stuff in a robot factory actually IS any more?
· · ·

7 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2017-02-01 09:26:52 AM  
We had a yuuuuuuuuge week last week, with over 1200 submissions greened, nearly 400 in the Poltab alone.


And whose fault is that?
 
2017-02-01 11:22:41 AM  

Principal Clarinet: We had a yuuuuuuuuge week last week, with over 1200 submissions greened, nearly 400 in the Poltab alone.


And whose fault is that?


The Turnip in Chief?
 
2017-02-01 01:33:25 PM  

Principal Clarinet: We had a yuuuuuuuuge week last week, with over 1200 submissions greened, nearly 400 in the Poltab alone.


And whose fault is that?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-02-01 01:59:07 PM  
How does a verbatim headline from the Onion get votes for headline of the week? That seems like the worst kind of plagiarism...
 
2017-02-01 03:26:51 PM  
Did Unfreakable leave us?
 
2017-02-01 03:53:00 PM  

SirMadness: How does a verbatim headline from the Onion get votes for headline of the week? That seems like the worst kind of plagiarism...


It's a new era
 
2017-02-01 05:23:37 PM  

edmo: SirMadness: How does a verbatim headline from the Onion get votes for headline of the week? That seems like the worst kind of plagiarism...

It's a new era


Two and a half minutes to Midnight.
Bowie and Prince in the ground.
Fark headlines are no longer even attempting to amuse the reader.

This is truly the end times.
 
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