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Janet Jackson's extended pregnancy, Russia pulls out, and Razer takes a page from razor manufacturers' playbook. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-01 to Sat 2017-01-07
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-01-09 7:39:44 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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1113 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2017 at 7:58 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Hello good denizens of Farkistan, here we feature Fark's Headlines of the Week for the past week. As always, these headlines are brought to you by you, and you, and you, not you - you somehow voted for Ralph Nader - and you. Remember to hit those +1 buttons if you want to see your favorite headline here next week. So on to the headlines!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-01 to Sat 2017-01-07:  Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where women dressed up as bats get all of my press? This town needs an enema  Police in New Jersey seek overweight, excessively hairy, naked man. That narrows it down  Baggage handlers fly free on United  Ford to build cars in third-world county  A toddler has shot someone in the U.S. every week for the past two years. Can we lock that damn kid up already?  Janet Jackson gives birth to child at 50. That's a long gestation  Texas lawmaker never thought 'celebratory gunfire' to be reckless, dangerous and worth banning. Then, one day, it hit him  Huge explosion reported outside court in Turkey. At least 10 injured, cars on fire, feathers everywhere  You really think Julian Assange would do that? Just go on TV and tell lies?  Extremely rare 800 pound whale washes up along the Jersey shore, reminding residents that the Governor hasn't been around in a while  Bicyclist struck and killed by van outside Legoland. Police still trying to piece together the accident  A man got a sinking feeling / Right on the edge of a pit / His home was about to fall over / in to a big mess of .. Shaving Cream

Sports:  "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, my multi-million dollar estate will spark World War III"  Brandon Marshall says the New York Jets season was like sitting on a wet diaper. Which is not a fair comparison, because even inside a diaper something actually runs  Leicester City weren't sure if Nigerian midfielder would sign with them, but Ndidi did

Geek:  This whole blame-the-victim thing is really starting to snowball  Scientists successfully engineer human stomach tissue in lab, but say they need time to digest their findings  Razer pulls a Gillette and says, "Fark it, we're doing three screens"

Entertainment:  Janet Jackson, husband Jar-Jar welcome son Eissa Al Mana  Sarah Jessica Parker gets trapped in an elevator, but not furlong  Inventory of Prince's $300 million estate includes cash, gold bars, Diamonds and Pearls

Politics:  And here we have Donald Trump, our future Commander-in-Chief, saying the US intelligence community is building a phony case against Russia. I swear this has to be the worst Muppet since that stupid prawn  Russia begins pulling out of Syria, still balls deep in Donald  Media: "Russia hacked the DNC." Trump: "This hacking thing is a partisan witch hunt against me." Media: "We didn't mention you yet. Telling"

Business:  Microsoft no longer selling Windows Phone-based devices in its stores, not expected to impact sales numbers  With no other products to export, Zimbabwe starts shipping its elephants to China. Presumably in trunks  Medium publishing to lay off one third of staff after advertising income is only so-so
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