Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
The many varied flavors of Soylent, hurt Butt butthurt, and a remote-controlled underwear vehicle. Unless you're still as hung over as Don Lemon, you'll get a laugh out of the Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-25 to Sat 2016-12-31
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-01-02 8:57:38 AM (17 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

2590 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2017 at 5:02 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Salutations, welcome, hello, and all that jazz, we're back with more of the best headlines on Fark from the past week. We had a couple of standouts this week that I'm pretty sure we'll be seeing in December. As always, I like to point out that your voting is what makes this list happen, so if a headline gives you a chuckle, hit the +1 button. It's easy and it doesn't even require photo ID. Also, since no one reads this blurb anymore, I'll just say that I think Don Lemon is funnier drunk on New Year's Eve than Kathy Griffin. At least they stopped Don when he started to take his shirt off, unlike Kathy. Of course, Don probably didn't have a bra on...

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-25 to Sat 2016-12-31:

img.fark.net  Seal rampages through Tasmania suburbs, probably still upset with Heidi Klum

img.fark.net  Carrie Fisher in stable condition, which is a personal first for her

img.fark.net  Carrie Fisher has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

img.fark.net  "The first black box was found by a remote-controlled underwear vehicle at a depth of 17 metres, one mile from the resort of Sochi." Underwear vehicle? Did it detect skid marks?

img.fark.net  "Kentucky travelers will not be able to fly with driver's license." Well DUH. Everyone knows you need a pilot's license to fly

img.fark.net  Police suspect Social Media in mall violence in at least nine states. Subby hopes they will get that guy before he strikes again

img.fark.net  'Faulty wing flaps' to blame for Russian air crash. Next time you fly in a Russian plane, make sure the pilot knows how to flap its wings

img.fark.net  Tapestry expert to visit NYC to verify possible Henry VIII tapestry, rescue elderly father

img.fark.net  Woman declines to give a junkie a ride in her junker, so he breaks into it and leaves a little Christmas gift behind on the floorboards

img.fark.net  Obama unveils sanctions against Russia for election meddling, including limiting Russian operatives to three U.S. cabinet posts

img.fark.net  What exactly is the perfect breast? Subby would have gone with "dangling in my face" but would have been wrong. Here comes the science


Sports:

img.fark.net  Butthurt butthead head coach's butt hurt after Butt hurt, but hurt Butt won't hurt coach's butt


Geek:

img.fark.net  NASA finds exciting clue in the ongoing search for life on Mars: a spoon. They caution, however, that this in no way indicates an advanced culture like a spork would

img.fark.net  Samsung's next generation of Galaxy phones will include "Bixby" AI. It won't explode, but don't make it angry

img.fark.net  Scientists are now on the brink of bringing back extinct species. Finally some good news for the Democratic Party


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Scarlett Johansson named Grossest Actor of 2016 by Forbes

img.fark.net  "Well, excuuuuuuse meeeeeeee"

img.fark.net  Inherit a fortune, Yioda will


Politics:

img.fark.net  "Did you say his panic? That makes no sense Kellyanne." "No, Donald, I said HISPANIC. As in, you need one in the cabinet." "I said that. His panic. I'm not panicking. How can you say his panic at a time like this." "No, Donald, you need...never mind"

img.fark.net  Puppet's first prostate exam

img.fark.net  Oh my god, he really can't help himself, can he?


Business:

img.fark.net  Free coffee at Starbucks for the rest of the year? It's beginning to look a latte like Christmas

img.fark.net  1024B ought to be enough for anybody

img.fark.net  Soylent introduces new flavors, which vary from person to person


FarkUs:

img.fark.net  Farkus
· · ·

17 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2017-01-02 12:26:47 PM  
$ laughscan
Scanning.... no LOLs found.  Try running with '--even-mild-chuckles'

Nope.  Haven't had a drink since Nov 2015 too.  Damn, that's a long hangover.
 
2017-01-02 12:46:20 PM  
It's not a Lemon Party without old Don.
 
2017-01-02 01:04:58 PM  
It's too bad there's a whole Legion of farkers that never click to the sports tab.  That U of Michigan headline was pretty Epic
 
2017-01-02 01:11:37 PM  
Heh... butts
 
2017-01-02 02:02:32 PM  
The butt headline is the best of all time
 
2017-01-02 02:36:53 PM  

AquaTatanka: It's too bad there's a whole Legion of farkers that never click to the sports tab.  That U of Michigan headline was pretty Epic


Sports, Politic, Entertainment.  Might as well not exist.
 
2017-01-02 03:20:53 PM  
I did Soylent 2.0 for a while and liked it. I kept it at my desk and would drink it so I could spend more time coding. Then they changed something a few months ago and it gave me horrible stomach issues. I called them and they asked for the lot number which I supplied but they wouldn't give me a refund so I just canceled any further orders.
 
2017-01-02 03:44:39 PM  
Sorry for my ignorance --
Have the HOTY winners been announced?
 
2017-01-02 05:05:00 PM  

Mudd's woman: Sorry for my ignorance --
Have the HOTY winners been announced?


http://www.fark.com/comments/9423279
 
2017-01-02 06:15:23 PM  

ox45tallboy: Mudd's woman: Sorry for my ignorance --
Have the HOTY winners been announced?

http://www.fark.com/comments/9423279


thanks
 
2017-01-02 06:48:56 PM  
Is there a logical reason why you CANNOT list the dates the proper way? See below:

12-25-2016 to 12-31-2016
 
2017-01-02 07:02:11 PM  

bratface: Is there a logical reason why you CANNOT list the dates the proper way? See below:

12-25-2016 to 12-31-2016


We're making digital Calendars great again.
 
2017-01-02 07:58:33 PM  

bratface: Is there a logical reason why you CANNOT list the dates the proper way? See below:

12-25-2016 to 12-31-2016


The server is German. You try reasoning with it.
 
2017-01-02 11:03:49 PM  

bratface: Is there a logical reason why you CANNOT list the dates the proper way? See below:

12-25-2016 to 12-31-2016


Most significant digits first sorts more easily in computer land.  My favorite date form:

20170102

Don't even have to parse the non-numbers out.
 
2017-01-02 11:06:45 PM  

bratface: Is there a logical reason why you CANNOT list the dates the proper way? See below:

12-25-2016 to 12-31-2016


You've never done much data management, have you?  It.  Is.  Logical.
 
2017-01-03 01:01:00 AM  

AquaTatanka: bratface: Is there a logical reason why you CANNOT list the dates the proper way? See below:

12-25-2016 to 12-31-2016

You've never done much data management, have you?  It.  Is.  Logical.


No I haven't but I was taught that it is month-day-year. As for you thinking it's logical, maybe in your nerd universe it is.
 
2017-01-03 03:37:32 AM  
I love that my butt makes people happy.
 
Displayed 17 of 17 comments


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report