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Frying turkeys, screwdrivers at a knife fight, and a Spartan Christmas tree: these are YOUR Headlines of the Week from Sunday, 12/11 to Saturday, 12/17
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2016-12-19 10:07:27 AM (7 comments) | Permalink
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1435 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2016 at 2:37 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Hey guys, welcome to another glorious edition of Fark's Headlines of the Week. We had several strong entries this week, with the choices hard to narrow down. But the votes are in, and your headlines are here. Remember to hit to the thumbs-up button in the threads to vote for the headlines you like this week so you'll be able to see them here next week, and maybe in the Headline of the Year Contest next December. Also, since no one reads this blurb anymore, I'll just say that chickens don't work very well as indoor pets.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-11 to Sat 2016-12-17:

img.fark.net  Flying turkeys hitting power lines cause outages in Oregon. As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry

img.fark.net  If you haven't seen McDonald's newest coffee cup design, goatsee it now before they pull it

img.fark.net  KKK Grand Dragon arrested for alleged knife fight after too much vodka and OJ. Never bring a screwdriver to a knife fight

img.fark.net  Hillary Clinton takes time out from running child sex ring and chopping up babies to say that fake news is an 'epidemic'

img.fark.net  Captive woman turns to UPS guy for deliverance

img.fark.net  This is your face: (◕‿◕) This is your face after 2016: ('~`;)

img.fark.net  CNN's mobile command center sets sail on its final mission

img.fark.net  Parents of "pizzagate" gunman want you to know that their son is a loving, kind, gentle man and that you shouldn't automatically believe any news stories you read online suggesting otherwise

img.fark.net  Britain OK's making a baby from DNA of three people. I'm pretty sure I've seen lots of videos on this

img.fark.net  Romans incensed at Spartan Christmas tree: "This is madness"

img.fark.net  Midair e-cigarette fire causes e-mergency landing


Sports:

img.fark.net  Using a series of vocal signals, Dolphins question legality of hit on Tannehill that took him out for the remainder of the season

img.fark.net  NFL announces London game schedule for 2017, including one minor league game between the Browns and Vikings

img.fark.net  Jeff Fisher is confident that the damage he has done to the Rams is so irreparable that even he can coach a team to beat them at this point


Geek:

img.fark.net  Broccoli and cabbage may be the secret to staying young. And alone

img.fark.net  Scientists "reprogram" cells in mice to reverse aging process. Great, now the eek shall inherit the Earth

img.fark.net  South Korea a step closer to creating a working fusion reactor. In other news, North Korea is a step closer to creating a working fuse


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Mariah Carey takes photo with the twins. And also her children

img.fark.net  Bob Barker turns 93, or at least close to it without going over

img.fark.net  Slate asks, "Is Rogue One really a Star Wars movie?" Internet asks, "Is Slate really a news site?"


Politics:

img.fark.net  Donald Trump has decided Mittens just won't fit his tiny, tiny hands

img.fark.net  US officials believe that senior member of Trump's campaign was personally involved in hacking the DNC and releasing embarrassing information

img.fark.net  A Cabinetry of Dunces


Business:

img.fark.net  Millions of Cuisinarts recalled due to oral lacerations. What are you pervs doing with your kitchen appliances, anyway?

img.fark.net  Alaska Air finalizes its purchase of Virgin America. Both airlines will continue to operate under their own brands, because the name Frigidaire was already taken

img.fark.net  Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't you strap on your job helmet, and squeeze into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies? Don't you know it's always sunny in the Business Tab?
· · ·

7 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2016-12-19 10:19:05 AM  
Also, a quick note that the quarterfinals threads for mainpage headlines were last week, and the first greenlit threads for the subtabs begin today. There are already two greened threads in upcoming (see the Contests tab), but the voting won't kick in until the threads go live.
 
2016-12-19 10:21:27 AM  
http://www.fark.com/comments/blog666
 
2016-12-19 10:36:31 AM  

GooberMcFly: http://www.fark.com/comments/blog666


1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2016-12-19 10:47:50 AM  

ox45tallboy: GooberMcFly: http://www.fark.com/comments/blog666

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x300]


It's because the electoral college is getting together today to formalize Trump's ascendancy to the presidency.

THANKS, TRUMP
 
2016-12-19 11:44:59 AM  
Merry Christmas and God bless everyone. Especially the Godless, hollow heathens
 
2016-12-19 01:03:01 PM  

uber humper: Merry Christmas and God bless everyone. Especially the Godless, hollow heathens


wait, they're hollow? Like chocolate Santas?
 
2016-12-19 03:25:48 PM  
Not to diss knives, but a solid Phillips head screwdriver is basically a poor-mans rondel. Just saying.
 
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