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Frying turkeys, screwdrivers at a knife fight, and a Spartan Christmas tree: these are YOUR Headlines of the Week from Sunday, 12/11 to Saturday, 12/17
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2016-12-19 10:07:27 AM (7 comments) | Permalink
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1476 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2016 at 2:37 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Hey guys, welcome to another glorious edition of Fark's Headlines of the Week. We had several strong entries this week, with the choices hard to narrow down. But the votes are in, and your headlines are here. Remember to hit to the thumbs-up button in the threads to vote for the headlines you like this week so you'll be able to see them here next week, and maybe in the Headline of the Year Contest next December. Also, since no one reads this blurb anymore, I'll just say that chickens don't work very well as indoor pets.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-11 to Sat 2016-12-17:  Flying turkeys hitting power lines cause outages in Oregon. As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry  If you haven't seen McDonald's newest coffee cup design, goatsee it now before they pull it  KKK Grand Dragon arrested for alleged knife fight after too much vodka and OJ. Never bring a screwdriver to a knife fight  Hillary Clinton takes time out from running child sex ring and chopping up babies to say that fake news is an 'epidemic'  Captive woman turns to UPS guy for deliverance  This is your face: (◕‿◕) This is your face after 2016: ('~`;)  CNN's mobile command center sets sail on its final mission  Parents of "pizzagate" gunman want you to know that their son is a loving, kind, gentle man and that you shouldn't automatically believe any news stories you read online suggesting otherwise  Britain OK's making a baby from DNA of three people. I'm pretty sure I've seen lots of videos on this  Romans incensed at Spartan Christmas tree: "This is madness"  Midair e-cigarette fire causes e-mergency landing

Sports:  Using a series of vocal signals, Dolphins question legality of hit on Tannehill that took him out for the remainder of the season  NFL announces London game schedule for 2017, including one minor league game between the Browns and Vikings  Jeff Fisher is confident that the damage he has done to the Rams is so irreparable that even he can coach a team to beat them at this point

Geek:  Broccoli and cabbage may be the secret to staying young. And alone  Scientists "reprogram" cells in mice to reverse aging process. Great, now the eek shall inherit the Earth  South Korea a step closer to creating a working fusion reactor. In other news, North Korea is a step closer to creating a working fuse

Entertainment:  Mariah Carey takes photo with the twins. And also her children  Bob Barker turns 93, or at least close to it without going over  Slate asks, "Is Rogue One really a Star Wars movie?" Internet asks, "Is Slate really a news site?"

Politics:  Donald Trump has decided Mittens just won't fit his tiny, tiny hands  US officials believe that senior member of Trump's campaign was personally involved in hacking the DNC and releasing embarrassing information  A Cabinetry of Dunces

Business:  Millions of Cuisinarts recalled due to oral lacerations. What are you pervs doing with your kitchen appliances, anyway?  Alaska Air finalizes its purchase of Virgin America. Both airlines will continue to operate under their own brands, because the name Frigidaire was already taken  Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't you strap on your job helmet, and squeeze into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies? Don't you know it's always sunny in the Business Tab?
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7 Comments     (+0 »)
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2016-12-19 10:19:05 AM  
Also, a quick note that the quarterfinals threads for mainpage headlines were last week, and the first greenlit threads for the subtabs begin today. There are already two greened threads in upcoming (see the Contests tab), but the voting won't kick in until the threads go live.
2016-12-19 10:21:27 AM
2016-12-19 10:36:31 AM  


1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2016-12-19 10:47:50 AM  

ox45tallboy: GooberMcFly:

[ image 300x300]

It's because the electoral college is getting together today to formalize Trump's ascendancy to the presidency.

2016-12-19 11:44:59 AM  
Merry Christmas and God bless everyone. Especially the Godless, hollow heathens
2016-12-19 01:03:01 PM  

uber humper: Merry Christmas and God bless everyone. Especially the Godless, hollow heathens

wait, they're hollow? Like chocolate Santas?
2016-12-19 03:25:48 PM  
Not to diss knives, but a solid Phillips head screwdriver is basically a poor-mans rondel. Just saying.
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