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Smuggling gold in your butt, spider silk footwear, and an amphibiously gay duo: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines Of The Week for 11/27 - 12/03
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2016-12-04 10:14:36 PM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1328 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2016 at 9:12 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Hey everyone, I'm doing the HoTW this week, so here's this week's top headlines for your enjoyment. Don't forget to wash your hands, no one wants to smell that.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-11-27 to Sat 2016-12-03:  That guy that smuggled $165K worth of gold in his butt? He said he'll pay it back. Give him 3 hours. Stand clear  Man wins Vincent Van Gogh lookalike contest. I SAID MAN WINS VINCENT VAN GOGH LOOKALIKE CONTEST  Amazon drone falls to earth  Japan admits that its defense forces may have been hacked. Which will teach them NOT to make their secret password: 一 二 三 四  Texas man jailed for using Twitter to harass others. That kind of behavior could get him sentenced to four years as President of the United States  Beaver walks into a store and trashes the place. Wally, being the older brother, will probably get the blame  All you sperm donors can breathe a sigh of relief now. Well, a second sigh of relief  1000-year-old Viking toolbox found. Sears Craftsman warranty still valid  Woman born without a vagina has surgery to create one. "I finally feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel." PHRASING  Decapitated body of young man found in Merrimack River. Investigators say they will continue to Monitor the situation  Lawyer wants parrot that witnessed a murder to be put on the stand, as he hopes to make the caged bird sing

Sports:  New York Jets' Darrelle Revis says he doesn't want to play football anymore. Unclear whether he means as of right now, or retroactive to week one of this season  Jon Lester disappointed that MLB's new collective bargaining agreement doesn't exempt him from having to throw to first base  Pittsburgh Pirates third baseman Kang facing DUI-related charges in Korea. Now how will he get back to Rigel VII?

Geek:  Scientist discovers Dwarven genes in all of us, upsetting Elves  New 'embryoscope' photo technique allows parents to witness the beginnings of their child's life in the first few days of fertilization. Yes, it's the ultimate 'cellfie'  Cassini to taste Saturn's ring. And it isn't even his birthday yet. Lucky bugger

Entertainment:  The Amphibiously Gay Duo  Lady Gaga says she's done with bad romance, but you can still poker face  Full House creator buys the famous house featured in the show, plans to renovate it and put some new knockers on it... you know, kind of like they did with Jodie Sweetin

Politics:  Candidate Trump: "Drain the swamp, drain the swamp." President-Elect Trump: "Actually, our wetlands are a national treasure and vital to the survival of our ecology"  Donald Trump launches victory tour to celebrate losing popular vote by 5 Al Gores  Lt Governor in NJ says that if the minimum wage is raised to $15 an hour, residents will have to pump their own gas. Next she'll be saying they will have to scan their own groceries

Business:  Adidas unveils footwear made from lab-grown spider silk. Read about it on the web  Venezuela's currency is so devalued that it's going to solve the toilet paper shortage  Starbucks CEO steps down, so you'll have to get by with the other 50 Starbucks CEOs within walking distance
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2016-12-05 12:49:48 PM  
Did the producers actually pay for Jody Sweetin's new boobs? Enquiring minds want to know.
2016-12-05 02:11:00 PM  
I still chuckle when I read the gold-in-the-butt followup.

Good jerb, subby.
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