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Mr. Miyagi claims two more victims in Queens, deaf man demands hearing, and the Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on trial: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/20 - 11/26
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-11-27 10:20:58 PM (5 comments) | Permalink

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1532 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2016 at 5:59 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, everybody. For those of you who hold out on TF until Headline of the Year rolls around, get ready: the first HotY prelim threads will be going live to TFD today, with more coming this week. I think you'll like them a lot. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-11-20 to Sat 2016-11-26:  Researchers conclude Vikings became Raiders due to shortage of single women, huge signing bonuses from Al Davis  Former Greek president Constantine Stephanopoulos nolongeramongus  Mr. Miyagi claims two more victims in Queens  After learning via text he'd been fired, truck driver dumps 1000 bushels of corn on highway, earning him a trip to kernel clink  Thing 1 arrested on suspicion of defacing several downtown L.A. landmarks. Thing 2 still at large  Mom-to-be still CrossFitting while 8 months pregnant. Fetus already won't stop talking about it  Deaf man denied commercial driver's license demands hearing  E-cigarette explodes in man's pants at Grand Central Terminal. Normally an explosion in a man's pants at Grand Central involves being rubbed on by a guy in a dirty Elmo costume and costs 20 bucks  The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on trial  CIA finally succeeds at assassinating Fidel Castro at age 90  OSHA states death of man killed in wood chipper could have been prevented by better training, not participating in kidnapping schemes

Sports:  Cleveland Browns charge $105 entry fee to job fair, severely decreasing their chances of finding a quarterback  New NHL team in Las Vegas goes with blandtastic "Golden Knights" as its name because "Bodies in a Ditch Ten Miles Out Of Town", while historically accurate, was both verbose and off-putting  Man vows not to wear pants again until the Green Bay Packers' next victory. If his neighbors weren't Packer fans before, they sure are now

Geek:  New weather satellite named GOES-R launched into space. To be followed next year by ZUU-L  39% of Americans would give up sex to never worry about hacking. DDos before Hos  Brightness [████████████----]

Entertainment:  Madonna's son Rocco arrested for possession of marijuana. He plans to go to his obese cow and neurotic turtle friends to help him fight these charges  Miss Piggy saves Tony Bennett from fall after Macy's parade-float mishap, avoiding a repeat of the infamous H.R. Pufnstuf/Perry Como debacle of 1973  Even Christmas caroling has hashtags and shuttle buses. Soon there will be contests between church choirs so we would have the Battle of the Choral See

Politics:  Since Donald Trump won, he has gone out of his way to avoid intelligence, briefings  Jill Stein is going to Make Wisconsin Count Again  Hillary Clinton finally begins campaigning in the rust belt

Business:  Female portion of Microsoft's workforce has shrunk again after she decides to take a job with Apple  Volkswagen aims to be global electric car leader by 2025. And if they can't make this goal they can always have their engineers write some software that says they did  Palladium climbs to a 17-month high. Gold rises to $1,200 an ounce. Investors can choose either ore
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5 Comments     (+0 »)
2016-11-28 07:06:18 AM  
Wow, two of them this week. I don't think that has ever happened to me.
2016-11-28 07:32:04 AM  

kdawg7736: Wow, two of them this week. I don't think that has ever happened to me.

That's the classic Fark HOTY DP.

Enjoy it, but watch out for prolapse.
2016-11-28 08:10:45 AM  
What roof is on trial?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2016-11-28 08:51:03 AM  

The roof that just won the Nobel Prize is on trial.
2016-11-28 02:31:32 PM  
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