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Wolf howls at loon, house dressing really becomes house dressing, and auto-erotic asphyxiation: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/6 - 11/12
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-11-14 6:00:19 AM (3 comments) | Permalink

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1346 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2016 at 6:04 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back, everybody, and a happy Monday to you all. Here are some of the better headlines from last week. Enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-11-06 to Sat 2016-11-12:  Man faces jail after police find octopus porn on his computer. SUCKERS  The music has stopped at Janet Reno's dance party  Black smoke seen over DC signals we do not yet have a new president  Chicken apprehended after crossing roads, will be taken downtown and grilled  The house dressing comes on the side... the table... the ceiling... the carpet... the walls... the dress  Rare birthmark's four-generation streak has mom teaching her daughter to outrun amorous French skunks  Everything's going to be oKKK  Auto-erotic asphyxiation  Oh man, this kid is soooo grounded (Warning: graphic images)  A woman in Portland splashed laundry detergent on protesters last night. This is the first recorded use of the little known martial art of Tide-kwon-do  Charges in Waffle House sex tape case scattered, smothered, covered

Sports:  Dale Earnhardt Jr. pulled over for speeding, was also cited for always having his left turn signal on  How much did Richard Sherman get fined? Let's Adderall up  Seahawks LB has his prized Magic the Gathering cards stolen from his car, offers +2 rewards if card is drawn  Gorjak Gak ruled eligible by the NCAA. Apparently it took a while for his high school transcripts to get here from the Klingon home world

Geek:  Researchers invent system for predicting falls in the elderly, working name: gravity  Scientists develop HIV test on USB stick. That's gonna smart when you plug it into your port  The head of the NSA is personally testing Boeing's new self-destructing smartphone. Samsung to sue for patent infringement

Entertainment:  Lady Gaga savagely attacks an illegal immigrant  Dungeons & Dragons FINALLY elected to the National Toy Hall of Fame after judges throw a 1 to defend against impotent nerd rage  Raoul Coutard, Breathless

Politics:  Orange is the New Black  Wolf howls at loon  Hillary admits she does not have mirrors in her house. Or garlic

Business:  Company makes synthetic dead people for medical testing and training ... and probably nothing else they hope  Dow Jones Industrial Average is back up due to a stronger than expected showing in orange futures  Redflex executive in charge of bribing Chicago to use red light cameras sentenced to 2½ years in prison and 10% pay cut
· · ·

3 Comments     (+0 »)
2016-11-14 06:07:09 AM  
Let's be serious. There's only one headline up there that really matters. It's the one that's going to win this year's HOTY.

Seahawks LB has his prized Magic the Gathering cards stolen from his car, offers +2 rewards if card is drawn

Nothing beats a good MTG joke.
2016-11-14 09:14:11 AM  
I think "Orange is the new Black" is going to be headline of the year.  Seriously.
2016-11-14 02:05:45 PM  

dittybopper: I think "Orange is the new Black" is going to be headline of the year.  Seriously.

There's no way it can't be.

/zomg i just agreed with the 'bopper
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