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Russians tied to dope in race, pencilneck scientist dorks say the human brain is predisposed to negative stereotypes, and I'm Rick James, bench: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/30 - 11/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-11-06 9:36:39 PM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1487 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Nov 2016 at 8:38 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday and Presidential Election Eve, which isn't a recognized holiday, but damn if I won't be celebrating it anyway.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-10-30 to Sat 2016-11-05:  Hot dog stand explosion rocks neighborhood, making this the second weiner disaster this week  Man steals 39 accordions worth $160,000. An entire nation rejoices  "Scientists to unleash millions of mosquitoes to have sex with their cousins and kill them." Man, those scientists must really hate their cousins  Sadly, women can be disqualified from a chess tournament for showing too much cleavage. Apparently there are rules against soft pawn  Hillary is at it again  Unsure about Trump or Clinton? Some lucky D.C. residents now have a better, third option  Drunk, naked man roams condo, knocking on doors for sex. Trick-or-treat was Monday, dude  Man who beat his wife's heroin dealer with a bat gets probation, approval from the community, minor league offer from the Reds  Russians tied to dope in race  Delays on I-95 caused by marble spill expected to get worse when the hungry, hungry hippos arrive  Man once again found guilty of illegally possessing dead wild animals, will try to carrion with his life

Sports:  I'm Rick James, bench  You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it  Boston's Logan Airport to rename Gate 34 in honor of David Ortiz. Gate announcements to remind people this is their motherfarking flight

Geek:  The human brain is predisposed to negative stereotypes, according to a bunch of pencilneck scientist dorks  Mixing energy drinks and alcohol causes brain changes in mice. Mostly by causing them to come out of the walls and challenge the nearest cat to a fistfight  Speeders beware - The fastest accelerating police car is the Ford Taurus with a 3.5-liter turbocharged V-6 engine. Testing shows it only takes 4.5 seconds to go from zero to the closest donut shop

Entertainment:  LifeWay stores will not be selling Amy Grant's new Christmas album because it's not Christian enough. Admittedly, "Christmas With The Devil" is a little over the top, but hey, who doesn't like the occasional Spinal Tap cover?  Dr. Strange is indoctrination into demonic occultism, claims Christian film critic insulted by the hoary hosts of Hoggoth  Wilmer Valderrama, who came to the U.S. from Venezuela, says immigrants are a gift to the country. Apparently there's no other place where one can come to, find work and also date Mandy Moore, Demi Lovato and Mila Kunis

Politics:  Red October Surprise  Brexit will be a 'Titanic Success' according to Boris Johnson, who declined to reveal whether he is the captain or the iceberg  The Secret Service grabs a p***y

Business:  High inflation causes Venezuelan merchants to weigh money instead of counting it out, thus changing their currency from the bolivar to the pound  Mærsk shæres fæll æs eærnings collæpse  Midea recalls over three million dehumidifiers. Tyler Perry unavailable for comment
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2 Comments     (+0 »)
2016-11-07 08:53:18 AM  
"Classy" Freddie Blassie - Dr. Demento - Pencil Neck Geek
Youtube JNM4atakanI
2016-11-07 08:54:28 AM  
Dr Demento Geek's Revenge
Youtube ELCNrfCEhO0
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