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Less toupee at some hotels, an almost-cameo by the Russian women's track team, and police on the lookout for a snickering dog: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/23 - 10/29
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-10-31 8:30:52 AM (1 comment) | Permalink

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1201 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2016 at 8:31 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Happy Halloween, everybody! Hope a few of these headlines get you smiling like a flickering jack-o-lantern.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-10-23 to Sat 2016-10-29:

img.fark.net  Bodies of missing duck hunters recovered from lake. Police reportedly on lookout for snickering dog

img.fark.net  Chick Tracts now being subjected to empirical testing

img.fark.net  Surfer bitten at beach says shark 'came out of nowhere.' Investigators suspect the ocean

img.fark.net  Man steals Torah scrolls valued at $200,000 from Brooklyn synagogue. Suspect described as a cleric with +85 spell power

img.fark.net  Study announces breakthrough in care of children with autism. Which is good, because not everybody can afford to hire a ridiculous team of Scorpion supergeniuses to overthink simple problems every week

img.fark.net  ♫ All we need is music, sweet music / There'll be music everywhere / There'll be people singing, my dick swinging / Dancing in the street ♪

img.fark.net  Italy getting set to jail another batch of seismologists

img.fark.net  I want my... I want my... I want my Trump TV. I want my... I want my... I want my derp for free

img.fark.net  Delta releases new app to track your luggage, letting you see in real-time when it falls off the cart, gets run over by the catering truck, wins second place in the bag handler's free-throw competition, and finally arrives in Antarctica

img.fark.net  Rare Hebrew papyrus from the 7th century B.C. seized from looters in Israel. Library in charge of the document readies bill of $12 million for being 2700 years overdue

img.fark.net  Bundy acquittal so ridiculous even his own attorney is stunned. By U.S. Marshals


Sports:

img.fark.net  Scottie Pippen butchers Take Me Out to the Ballgame, anxiously looks around for Michael Jordan to bail him out

img.fark.net  Larry Csonka sees great possibilities with the Dolphins' new "retro" running offense, though he worries it won't be enough to stand up against Sartoris and Zap Rowsdower

img.fark.net  ESPN: the worldwide leader in subscriber cancellations


Geek:

img.fark.net  Swiss doctors successfully use nose cartilage to repair bad knees. That means the entire NFL season could be saved with the cooperation of Adrien Brody and Owen Wilson

img.fark.net  Astronomers discover "binary binary" stellar system, which puts them on the hunt now for tribinary and quadribinary systems, and if Gillette gets involved, quintibinary stellar systems

img.fark.net  What has 414 legs and four penises? No, not the Russian women's track team


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  But it's too late..... he's seen everything

img.fark.net  The first one

img.fark.net  Netflix cutting its labor costs of next season's JESSICA JONES production by 20%


Politics:

img.fark.net  How does Team Trump prepare for debates? By keeping their nose to the grindstone with some hands-on outreach to 18-25 year old female swing voters

img.fark.net  Donald Trump to rally in Sanford, finally finding a place where big dummies are welcome

img.fark.net  Mike Pence involved in something he wishes had been aborted


Business:

img.fark.net  Inspired by complaints from cleaning staff about too much hair in the drains, hotel offers instant per-night discounts at front desk for balding guests. That's right, less toupee

img.fark.net  Google Express launches home delivery service in Tennessee, certain to keep residents stocked up on essentials like home pregnancy tests, whisky, dentures

img.fark.net  Soylent to introduce new recipe because old recipe was causing stomach problems. Pretty sure we know what the new ingredient will be
· · ·

1 Comment     (+0 »)
 
 
2016-10-31 02:42:55 PM  
Less toupee at some hotels?

I did not see that one. But it is one heck of a great Donald Trump joke. Belated Kudos to the Subby. You caught the one that got away!

AKA Scion of the Devil. Imp of Satan., Son of a Inbed Pedigreed Collie Biatchb with a brain case norrower than Ann Coulter, and so forth.

Like Allah he has 99 Names. Unlike Allah, it is safe to print very few of them.
 
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