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An expanding threat from Meal Team 6, the inherent risk of being a bricklayer, and Chancellor Gorkon in jeopardy: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/16 - 10/22
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-10-24 10:46:01 AM (0 comments) | Permalink

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1155 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2016 at 10:51 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Good morning and happy Monday, everybody. Got a few really fun headlines in the mix this week. Enjoy!

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-10-16 to Sat 2016-10-22:  Man convicted of shooting at George Zimmerman given twenty years, possibly for not hitting him  "Welcome to 'Only Used Trucks.' Hey, check out this baby over here. It's practically brand new, fresh from the factory. Not a dent or a scratch, and rattle free. Sweet, huh?"  Bag of human remains found in vacant Cleveland lot, will be Browns starting QB on Sunday  Cartwright pleads guilty to leaking critical military intelligence to foreign political enemies, conspiring to assassinate Chancellor Gorkon  Oh, no, Sloth Bear. The zoo is gonna euthanize you. Run, Sloth Bear. RUN LIKE THE WIND. Oh, damn  China is about to launch stealth fighter designed to counter the USAF's weaknesses, which are reliance on tankers and the fact that the F-35 is only a threat to enemy aircraft if they hold still long enough for us to drop one on them with a crane  MN Supreme Court rules that BB guns are NOT firearms, despite fierce opposition by lobbying group, Mother's of One-Eyed Kids Association of America  Los Angeles gets rain for the first time in 165 days. Hundreds of motorists frantically check their owner's manual to see how to turn on their windshield wipers  Man goes on trial for farting in boy's face, judge waves briefs  Bricklayer has his penis snapped in half during vigorous sex session. Well what the hell did he expect? They're bricks  Parents complain that 55' nude statue is inappropriate, say children should only see boobies on smaller statues, mannequins, paintings, National Geographic, the internet, and that magazine Dad keeps under the mattress

Sports:  Novak Djokovic smashes racket, rips off his shirt and has an on-court meltdown after losing in the semi-finals. Most compelling tennis action of the year  FIFA is planning on a huge increase in the number of teams that will lose to Germany  O-H...N-O

Geek:  Superomniphobic tape adheres to any surface. Um dittle-ittle dittle, um dittle aye  Macra saf lay tebrekthoo ca unasans peaches wela sahumen  There's a little black spot on the Mars today... Right where the ESA probe crashed yesterday

Entertainment:  Marvin Marvin, it's Chuck. Your cousin, Chuck Berry. You know that new album you're looking for? Well, listen to this  A new J.R.R. Tolkien book will hit the shelves next year, eventually to be made into 12 Peter Jackson movies  Clinical Depression will headline Glastonbury 2017

Politics:  Meal Team 6 threatens armed revolution if Trump loses. Hoverounds, unite  NC Governor Pat McCrory turns 60 today. HB2 you, Governor  Facebook bends their guidelines so that Trump's statements can be reported verbatim. It's unclear if they are working for or against him

Business:  IBM profit and revenue decline for the 18th consecutive quarter as company discusses corporate name change to IOU  FCC throttles T-Mobile's checking account  Tesla's self-driving feature will cost $8,000. Which breaks down to $3,000 for the device, and $5,000 going into an account to pay for eventual funeral expenses
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