Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Reciprocal lutefisk consumption, man seeing porn at McDonald's can't get the Grimace off his face, and people who read Playboy for the articles of clothing: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/25 - 10/1
Posted by Unfreakable at 2016-10-03 12:01:23 PM (0 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

1231 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2016 at 12:23 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Happy Monday, y'all. Enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-09-25 to Sat 2016-10-01:  Duck, duck, loose  Customs officials stop woman who had packed dead husband's intestines in a suitcase. Would that qualify as carrion luggage?  Mayor decides the Boston Redevelopment Authority (BRA) needs a new name. Chooses "Tomorrow Is Totally Serious, Let's Integrate New Generations" (TITSLING)  Black moon to appear Friday night. Police around the country being urged to resist trying to shoot it  Up to fifty percent of humans are "blind to motion." Enjoy your commute  Police hunt woman pictured 'having sex with dinosaur' at children's playground. Jurassic Fark  Study suggests that you are predisposed to murder as part of your evolutionary genetic heritage, even more than your cat is  Catholic High School Girls in Trouble  Go home Thomas, you're drunk  Man finds porn playing on TV screens in McDonald's, has hard time getting Grimace off his face  Over 8% of the population of Norway eats tacos every Friday; meanwhile, Mexico reports no plans to engage in reciprocal lutefisk consumption

Sports:  AP uses the term "high octane" for the Oakland Raiders' offense, when the manual clearly states that you're supposed to use regular  Aldo no va  Former WWE wrestler Jamie Noble stabbed twice in West Virginia trailer park. Heath Slater's 137 kids wanted for questioning

Geek:  Cause of Crohn's disease identified, say researchers who probably pulled the answer out of their ass  George Washington used vaccines to help defeat the British. So the next time some anti-vaxxer annoys you, remind them if it hadn't been for vaccines, we'd all be speaking English now  Desperate for sales, Apple copies another Samsung feature

Entertainment:  Muslim journalist, 22, poses for Playboy wearing a hijab. Which is great for people who read Playboy for the articles of clothing  Gary Glasberg, NCIS showrunner, has died. Cause of death: too many head slaps from Gibbs  Pirate who leaked the Peanuts movie fined $1 million and ordered to pay 5¢ for psychiatric help

Politics:  Gary Johnson blames 'troll army' for rumor that running mate might quit. FOR THE HORDE  Donald Trump gives reasons for his sub-par debate performance: "The moderator was against me. My mic was defective. An old friend came in from out of town. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD"  Mitch McConnell (R) compares Senate race to "knife fight in a phone booth". Explanation for our younger Farkers: A phone booth is a small structure that resembles a TARDIS but it is exactly as big on the inside as the outside

Business:  Trump Hotel chain to pay $50,000 over credit card data breaches. No one knows who is behind the hacking, but authorities are investigating the possibility it came from a private e-mail server in Chappaqua, New York  SABMiller shareholders toast $100 billion takeover of AB InBev, presumably with an ice-cold odorless, tasteless, refreshing beer-like beverage  Survey of baristas, bookstore clerks and Chipotle cashiers concludes that Liberal Arts grads struggle with underemployment
· · ·

0 Comments     (+0 »)
Displayed 0 of 0 comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.